10 thoughts on “Codependency Anorexia—Starving Oneself of Love

  • April 21, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    I gasped when reading this because it was so accurate, so me. Thank you for the excellent help. K

    Reply
    • August 13, 2018 at 2:23 pm

      Thank you, Krissy.

      Reply
  • July 24, 2018 at 9:58 pm

    Same with me Kristy. Thanks Ross Rosenberg for your insightful writings which I’m finding so helpful in working through the unresolved issues arising from my partner’s recent passing. I’ve been left with some very mixed feelings that your work is helping to make sense of.

    Reply
    • August 13, 2018 at 2:23 pm

      Thank you, Karen!

      Reply
  • August 11, 2018 at 2:02 pm

    After a brief traumatic marriage to a person who was a narcissist many years ago, I became a codependency anorexic. Then I took a chance on a relationship that seemed so full of “chemistry” and promise at first. After carefully observing the relationship dynamics and resisting a nearly overwhelming urge to stay because I wanted to believe the illusion, I ended the relationship after 8 months. I made the right decision but it is very painful. I recently told myself, “Never again!” But that’s not truly what I need—it’s returning to codependency anorexia. I ordered the Human Magnet Syndrome book to hopefully gain more insight. I don’t know any qualified therapists in my area. Thank you for your enlightening article.

    Reply
    • August 13, 2018 at 2:22 pm

      Good afternoon Diane,
      Thank you for reaching out and your interest in my work. I genuinely appreciate it. While my ultimate goal is to develop a referral network for those trained in my SLDD methods, at this time there is not one in place so I have no one to refer you to. Sorry for this. Please consider exploring my other resources to help you grow, develop, and heal.
      You did not mention if you have read my new book (published January 2018), The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap? It is the place to start as it is the foundation on which all of my work is based. It fully explains the “what is this” and “why” material. In it, I provide an explicit rendering of The Human Magnet Syndrome that includes new theories, explanations and concepts, case examples as well as personal stories. It includes an entire chapter about Gaslighting and many more topics including information about my own codependency recovery. Like all my work, it is for both the layman and professional. I highly recommend it and it can be found at http://www.SelfLoveRecovery.com.
      I wish you the best, Ross

      Reply
      • August 14, 2018 at 11:06 am

        Thank you. I ordered the book and just started reading it. I’m going slowly to take in all the points. Something resonated with me in reading your family background—you mentioned in the initial encounter between the narcissist and the codependent, the narcissist rejected the codependent due to her young age. In both my relationships with narcissists, there was an initial obvious attraction/interest by the narcissist followed by a period of withdrawal/rejection. It was very confusing—a mixed message—and I wondered if that was part of the magnetic attraction. I look forward to reading more. Thank you again.

        Reply
      • August 15, 2018 at 12:26 am

        Thanks. I ordered the book and have just begun reading. I’m going slowly to ensure I grasp the important points. Your description of the narcissist’s rejection of your family member when she was just 16 was interesting to me. In both of my relationships with narcissists, I found they both expressed interest initially, followed by withdrawal of attention/rejection, then interest again. Looking back, it felt like the rejection period was manipulative and emotionally exploitive. I look forward to the rest of your book. Thanks again.

        Reply
  • December 8, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Another great article! Could you comment on your advice to NOT go on dating websites while suffering from codependency anorexia?

    Reply
  • December 10, 2018 at 4:27 pm

    Yes. I second that. Why no internet dating sites?. It’s a great way to widen the net. There’s also a lot more weeding out to do, but what I’m willing to do that?

    Reply

The discussion section is closed to new comments for this blog.