13 thoughts on “The Most Painful of All Disorders: Borderline Personality Disorder

  • April 2, 2018 at 5:45 am

    This was an interesting and helpful article and very timely, as I have been asking myself if I have BPD.

    I had emotionally and physically abusive childhood. I have a good marriage and good relationships with my children. I do not self harm or attack others. But I am so up and down in mood, think in very black and white terms, and people seem to dislike me, especially the professionals I go to for help. Initially things seem OK but then fall apart.

    It feels like I am a bit borderline PD and that people sense this. Is this possible, I wonder and I agree absolutely that it is an awfully distressing way to live.

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  • April 2, 2018 at 10:11 am

    Cheers for a very informative blog. I had issues way back which to some extent aligned with this behaviour and bi-polar too, but in the longer term, there appeared family issues of which I was not aware at a conscious level, and which eventually translated into CEN and PTSD.
    Still not good, however by the time the revelations appeared,( there were some very self protective individuals within my family), there were also new systems of thought in the form of CBT and its sister DBT, which allowed me to process a lot of the conflict and anger issues within me.
    I’m never going to be able to face the perpetrators and achieve closure in the living sense, they have all popped it, so the responsibility lay within me to reconfigure my feeling and thinking processes.
    This was hard work, as the age at which it had all happened was very young indeed, and there were no conscious memories.
    This seems like Catch 22, but by setting values i.e. how much fury /heat does this situation or that situation
    really merit in comparison to what had actually happened, then I began to cool off.
    Angie, birds of a feather it seems..but there are shades of grey..I forgave and forgot…The road less travelled is much easier without baggage.

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  • April 15, 2018 at 12:52 pm

    As I have said on Twitter, the box at the end ruins the whole experience. I never go ahead to hurt people and I am perfectly fine without a romantic relationship. I was more hurt than I hurt, because I was taught to be submissive and not stand up for myself.

    Maybe it’s the subtypes. As a petulant, I just shut down and cry in the dark.

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  • April 15, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    Those with BPD are conditionally loving & exhibit harmful narcissistic injuries if & when they perceive real or imagined abandonment. The rage of hatred & the love of adoration modes are narcissitically motivated. It is what make them feel good or bad, not about the other person

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    • August 16, 2018 at 2:46 pm

      I’ve recovered from a BPD and I can tell you that I am one of the most loving, caring, empathic, and self-aware people you will ever meet. When I was pre-med in college, I wanted to spend my entire life volunteering with Doctors Without Borders in Africa treating AIDS patients. I’ve also spent thousands of hours tutoring low income children in math and science free of charge. And I was the guy who would comfort people after breakups and losses for hours. I’m extremely intuitive (ENFJ/INFJ) and have a high IQ as well.

      Yes I’ve been extremely emotionally needy in the last decade and I’ve been deeply fearful of abandonment. And yes I’ve been borderline in my views of people at times as a defense mechanism. I’ve certainly had an incredibly low self-esteem and a dissociative identity. But I deeply care for others and their emotions and it’s actually led to feelings of deep guilt. I’ve constantly been at war within myself because I’ve had these immense unmet needs and but I can also see the impact that it has on others who are kind to me. I was also insecure in my identity as a heterosexual but sensitive, intuitive, empathic, and non-masculine male. It’s a war that’s been played out internally and with others. But I certainly don’t lack for empathy, nor am I a narcissist.

      The way I’ve healed is by really seeing myself for the wonderful things I am, not the way you mental health “professionals” see me. I’ve come to see myself not as a deficient, disordered, or disgusting subhuman, but as a wonderful intuitive, empathic, and intelligent human being with complex emotions and an inquisitive mind that were neglected and abused. I’ve found a wonderful and caring church community and done positive self-affirmations in the mirror, along with an organic diet/lifestyle, detoxification, acupuncture, and various spiritual healings. I give and receive lots of hugs, allow complete emotional vulnerability, and have left behind the culture of toxic masculinity. I’ve learned to love what I am instead of hating, being jealous of, and trying to conform to what I’m not. And now 90% of my borderline symptoms are gone. I’m no longer dissociative and I no longer have a pathological fear of abandonment. I’ve finally healed from the abuse, neglect, losses, abandonment, and so much more, much of it perpetrated by awful mental health professionals. But even in my worst times, I never lacked empathy or understanding of others. Even people who despise me acknowledge that I’m deeply loving, caring, and empathic. Your stereotyping of people with BPD as “narcissistic” and “limited in capacity to empathize” is both inaccurate and dehumanizing.

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      • September 1, 2018 at 1:23 am

        Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! for being able to share your experience.
        It is a crisis I have been dealing with my whole life and never truly have been able to define or come to terms with until recently. I try to be aware of my triggers and try to hone into how to solve it… It is so frustrating. It is such an imbalance and always hard to explain. It sounds like a lot of self practice and work but worth it because I can no longer take the bearing of hurting others and myself. Now it’s just learning the steps to go forward and heal.

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      • November 2, 2018 at 1:28 am

        well said…and well done you are inspiring

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      • November 5, 2018 at 8:54 pm

        Thanks to both Kate and Kerri for their kind words!

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      • November 26, 2018 at 8:27 am

        Brilliant words and insight. Much thanks for your beautiful comment. If you ever write a book…about anything…I would be first in line to purchase it and profit from its wisdom.

        Reply
  • August 25, 2018 at 6:58 pm

    Kudos for recovering. I, for one, am a work in progress. Being recently diagnosed with BPD I do prefer SLDD. Mr. Rosenberg clearly stated ‘not all BPD’s are narcissistic.’ Whatever you choose to call it, it is what it is. SLDD is a complex disorder and, for me, awareness is half the battle.

    I have met a few ‘therapists’ that don’t have a clue and some are a catalyst to one of the many aha moments I have experienced and hope to experience more of.

    Presently, I am enrolled in a 9 month Marsha Linehan DBT course and it has been a life changer. Retraining the brain is not an easy feat however working and learning with others who share the same experiences has been worth its weight in gold.

    Good luck to everyone and thanks Mr. Rosenberg for your insight!

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  • September 19, 2018 at 10:25 pm

    Whilst I agree with the descriptions within the article, as someone who has (on the waiting list apparently) to be diagnosed with BPD, I don’t like the heading of this article. I agree BPD is -if this is what I have, the trickiest of all the co-morbilities I struggle with, surely it’s not the disorder itself which makes it so difficult as much as the situation it exists in.
    For someone with BPD, to be surrounded by supportive and positive strong people, I think it’s got to feel a lot more tolerable to the eating disordered patient locked in an abusive home because they lack the part of them to shout their way out. Or the schitzophrenic in a prison cell for a acting out of one’s disorder, surrounded by bullies and people around them who use violence to manage their fear over the sufferer. Or the head of a household who works 12 hour days and carries the weight and expectation to keep the family afloat but suffers with such extreme anxiety and depression they cannot work their way up the work payment ladder and is waiting for the family to grow up and leave so they can take their own life as a form of relief…
    I could list a dozen more on the spot here. My point being that whilst everyone suffers differently, it really matters just what situation the sufferer exists in before you can judge and deem one disorder more painful or unmanageable than another.

    And it should never become about a race to the bottom, everyone is in this thing together in their own way. Raise people up and set the bar, don’t pull people down in a bid to get headlines and votes of manufactured empathy.

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  • September 29, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    I’ve just discovered your work and have gained a lot of insight from the few articles/videos I’ve views so far. Thank you for doing what you do.

    Reply

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