Book Excerpt

The Good-Parent Fantasy – Why Narcissists Need To Have Children

From The Human Magnet Syndrome's  (2018) Chapter Eight: The Origins of Codependency 

Like everything else in their lives, pathologically narcissistic adults need to be parents so they can feel good/better about themselves. Despite their public proclamations, everything is always about, for and because of themselves, and never the child. Having a child allows them to fictionally repackage their life in which their buried core shame is replaced with candy-coated feel-good illusions. These manifest as a “good-parent narrative” that...

Book Excerpt

Codependency Anorexia—Starving Oneself of Love

Excerpt from Chapter 7 from "The Human Magnet Syndrome:The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018)."
Codependency anorexia occurs when a codependent surrenders to their lifelong relationship pattern with destructive pathological narcissists. The codependent often transitions to codependency anorexia when they hit bottom and can no longer bear the pain and harm meted out by their narcissist. Paradoxically, as it occurs during a moment of clarity, the codependent comes to realize they are powerless over their attraction to lovers...

Trauma Resolution

Smiling Skeletons: Releasing Trauma for Self-Love


By Ross Rosenberg

Strolling dreamily down a familiar street
in the direction of places long forgotten,
I was obliviously drawn to my childhood home.

Like a magnet,
I was irresistibly pulled
in the direction of my home,
where lost days, weeks and years
were anonymously recorded on a calendar
that no one ever saw.

The house, painted anew,
and the unfamiliar over-grown trees,
couldn’t hide memory stained streets,
where an emotionally desperate child
longed to simply frolic and play.

Until that day,
I had been too afraid
to revisit the room
long closed...

Book Excerpt

The Most Painful of All Disorders: Borderline Personality Disorder

Excerpt from The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018)

Borderline Personality Disorder - or “BPD” - may be among the most stigmatized of mental disorders.

Currently, there are rumblings in the mental health field about the negative implications of the term itself, as many consider it misleading and fraught with negative associations. BPD is often undiagnosed, misdiagnosed, or treated inappropriately (Porr, 2001). Clinicians may limit the number of BPD patients in their practice or drop...

Book Excerpt

Relationship Math: The Codependent Narcissist Relationship Equation

Based on excerpt from The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018)
Back in 1986, when I was in college, I kept a bulletin board on which I thumb-tacked various quotes that had psychological and personal meaning for me. These messages were daily reminders of the beliefs and values I had or aspired to have. Many of the quotes remain “tacked” inside of me, as their message survived the test of time. One relied on...

Book Excerpt

Drop the Codependency Baton! 10 Tips on Not Passing It On To Your Children

From The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependency Narcissist Trap. Chapter 13: Your Life Begins Now!
We must end the global blight of Self-Love Deficit Disorder, if not for ourselves, then for our children and their children’s children. You, as a husband or wife, sister or brother, friend, or, for that matter, simply as a concerned member of mankind, should consider joining my crusade of stamping out this crippling disorder and becoming a part of the worldwide self-loving...

Book Excerpt

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome: Ten Tips To Defend Against It

An Excerpt from The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018)

Lately, an increasing number of books, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, and social networking sites are focusing on Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome (NAS), also known as Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. Like most newly recognized and understood psychological or relational phenomena, descriptive and diagnostic data must be developed so it can be accepted in broader clinical/mental health circles. The more that is researched and written about it,...

Book Excerpt

Hypnotic Love: Chemistry and Limerence


When two romantically interested people have instant feelings of connection and comfort, they are experiencing relational chemistry. Chemistry is a reflexive and automatic phenomenon; that is, it is simultaneously and mutually experienced by oppositely compatible people. People often refer to this reaction as feeling “sparks” or love at first sight. The chemistry provokes a shared emotional experience of hope, excitement, and anticipation. It is not unusual for these bonded people to throw caution to the wind and move moderately-to-rapidly forward into a courtship process. This is when strong sexual impulses occur, or what I call the urge to merge.

Book Excerpt

Taking on The Codependency Treatment Field: A Time For Change

Ross Rosenberg, , LCPC, CADC, CSAT
Excerpt from Chapter 3 of "The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018)"
Disclaimer: In this chapter, almost everything you think you know about codependency will be challenged, redefined, and hopefully replaced.

The way the world defines codependency is simply incorrect, excessively simplistic, and has not kept pace with advancements in the medical and psychiatric fields. That is why codependency treatment rarely works. To put this into...