13 thoughts on “The Loneliness and Shame of Feeling Invisible: How to Find Your Voice

  • July 17, 2019 at 11:15 am

    Thanks for your excellent explication on the experience of feeling invisible. Helpful professionally as a therapist and personally as an older divorced woman with a mixed traumatic AND loving family history.

    • July 17, 2019 at 3:59 pm

      You’re so welcome. As I grow older, I’m having the same experience – sometimes I know younger people especially see my wrinkles and presume… Maybe I need to make sure I don’t presume anything when I see them.

  • July 17, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    Wonderful article. Thank you for sharing it.

    I came from a highly dysfunctional family growing up. Suffered brain and spinal cord injuries in this lifetime with residual effects.

    I currently ,and have for some time, struggled through crazy scenarios pertaining to work (bringing in a steady income).

    On top of all this I happen to be a middle aged caucasion male (let’s face it this is something which some groups seem to dislike immensely these days regardless of your nature as an individual).

    So family is nearly non existent for any real emotional support. Disabilities are causing issues for my obtaining long term lucrative work. My step children often act as if I’m simply part of the furniture. Etc. Etc. Etc.

    Just one crazy scenario after another really.

    Talk to myself to my girlfriend and to a female friend ocassionally about these things. Have no real male friends anymore.

    I know that this middle aged caucasion, disabled and under-employed guy is worth something yes however some days waking up is a real struggle. The thoughts that race through your mind upon waking can be intense.

    Add to this nocturnal epilepsy due to brain injuries (which really knocks me for a loop) and a refusal of the federal government to assist in any way, shape or form and let me tell you this experience can be tough! Understatement.

    I love to work! However many functional employers don’t seem to love me back. Countless resumes sent with no interest at all shown in hiring this guy.

    How does the federal government propose we survive?

    I’ve joined vocational rehab however they’ve been taking months and still no job. Patience is a virtue and let me tell you under these circumstances you must possess tons of it!

    Talk about feeling invisible … Pray for me (and us) it’s the only thing I can think of. I will pray for you too. Take care of yourselves.

    • July 17, 2019 at 3:58 pm

      It does sound like an understatement… I thank you for sharing this highly difficult situation of wanting to work and being invisible… even by those who say they want to help.

  • July 17, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    Excellent insight into feeling invisible. It is heart-crushing living as a women who is only seen when sex is involved. Thank you for writing about this important topic.

    • July 17, 2019 at 8:25 pm

      Reading your comment makes me quite sad. My first thought was at least you’re having it! (sex that is), but to be invisible the rest of the time must be deadening. I hope things can improve for you.

  • July 18, 2019 at 2:09 am

    I did not know that this description exist until today but the feeling is manifest. thank you very much.

  • July 18, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    Invisibility — yes, definitely the brunt of what I’m dealing with. But shame? No. I am not ashamed of who I am. It makes the feeling of being invisible all the more hopeless.

    My mom, who is my only confidante, tells me to stop doubting myself. But I don’t! What I do doubt is the potential for a cold cruel world to ever see me as a complete and whole person. 20 years of trying and coming so close, only to fail in my most intimate relationships has left me bereft.

    Tell me, is there any solution for that?

    • July 19, 2019 at 10:51 am

      It sounds as if you’re grieving an important relationship and that kind of grief can take a long time to heal.


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