Because trauma affects you physically and emotionally, it inevitably impacts your conscious and unconscious desire for closeness and connection. Traumatic events of both a sexual and nonsexual nature can have a devastating impact on a couple’s sexual intimacy.
Couple Communication for Anger Management
Couples can use the language between them to make love or to make war. Sadly, verbal aggression can be a dangerous trigger to destructive exchanges or even physical violence. Effective communication techniques, on the other hand, help couples manage difficulties and anger in a...
A Military Program Offers a Message for Couples
On Oct 15, 2009, the front page story in the New York Times by Rod Nordland described Operation Proper Exit, a program which invited American servicemen wounded in the Iraq War back to Iraq to visit those very places where they suffered severe injury and loss as a way to help achieve psychological closure.
When we consider healing and recovery from trauma, revisiting ( literally,in this case) fosters the remembering and mourning necessary for integration of traumatic memories and unspeakable loss. Welcomed back by...
When we consider healing and recovery from trauma, revisiting ( literally,in this case) fosters the remembering and mourning necessary for integration of traumatic memories and unspeakable loss. Welcomed back by...
Reconsidering the Anger in Your Relationship
Many couples are both perplexed and stressed by the anger that erupts between them in the aftermath of trauma. Working with small groups of men and women after they had experienced a trauma, we often heard comments like: “Is anyone else angry?” “We never...
Why Couples Need To Practice the Positives!
An article written by Shelley Gable, Gian Gonzaga and Amy Strachman in 2006 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology asks the question “Will You Be There for Me When Things Go Right?” This is actually a very good question for couples to...
What Is Couple Psychological First Aid?
Nationally and internationally, the most endorsed response in the first hours and weeks after a traumatic event is Psychological First Aid.
Just as Medical First Aid is given immediately to a person to minimize injury and reduce future medical complications and disability, Psychological First Aid involves providing connection, safety, basic needs, information, and recognizing if professional care is needed as a way to reduce the possibility of longterm emotional impact.
Couples Psychological First Aid unfolds from an understanding of the power of attachment by researchers...
Just as Medical First Aid is given immediately to a person to minimize injury and reduce future medical complications and disability, Psychological First Aid involves providing connection, safety, basic needs, information, and recognizing if professional care is needed as a way to reduce the possibility of longterm emotional impact.
Couples Psychological First Aid unfolds from an understanding of the power of attachment by researchers...
Do Men and Women React Differently to Trauma?
A New York Times article on Jan. 7, 2005 reported on grieving parents in Sri Lanka who lost children in the Southeast Tsunami. It describes a couple. The mother, pictured with a group of women, is crying and talking about her daughters. The father, who feels there is no value in dwelling on loss, asserts that "this is no time to give up" and focuses his energy on rebuilding the family home.
Their reactions speak to a gender stereotype that is perhaps crosscultural - in the face of traumatic loss, women need to speak about...
Their reactions speak to a gender stereotype that is perhaps crosscultural - in the face of traumatic loss, women need to speak about...
Finding A Safe Couple Place in the Aftermath of Trauma
Over the past 30 years as a couples therapist, I usually have met partners when they are suffering. Whether they have just been faced with a traumatic event or have struggled for years with chronic trauma and stress, they come because they are unable to find a way to...
How Do Trauma Symptoms Make Sense?
You wake at 5 , unable to fall back to sleep. You notice that your partner has no patience for anything, including you. You find yourself dreading phone calls even from your closest friends. And you wonder: How can these reactions be normal?
Combat stress, a cancer diagnosis, a car accident or a...
Combat stress, a cancer diagnosis, a car accident or a...
Can Couples Survive Trauma?
We are all aware in the media as well as through personal contacts of relationships that seem to have failed in the aftermath of tragic loss, combat stress, natural disaster or trauma of some kind. It makes us wonder -Can a couple survive trauma? Can they hold on...