2 thoughts on “Re-set Your Relationship with Positivity: Science and Strategies

  • July 5, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    I have both a neighbor and a building manager who believe strongly in positivity, and it does both both of them and all of us in the building a great deal of good — but it’s not the whole story.

    My neighbor is a refugee from one of the world’s many war zones, and he’s gone through some deep stuff. He gets out on his balcony and he shouts to the world, almost daily. Most of the time his shouts are affirmations, long litanies of good solid Dale Carnegie. Some of the time his shouts are angry. We — the whole neighborhood — get the impression that not all that the US Air Force does in the world is good… 🙂

    We’re always able to talk to him, tell him our sympathies, get him in to the local food bank, all of which are helpful. Telling him that “We all think to ourselves the same as he does, but we do it silently” will keep him quiet for a few days. Next we’re working on “Don’t shout it at the whole world. Here’s my phone number. Call me and come on over for coffee. I’m just down the hall…”

    The building supervisor is a more serious case. He firmly believes that he has good intentions, and this is true. He also believes that he can help build community in the building, which is quite likely to be true. He’s done some good and useful things already in the couple of months since he started here.

    He also believes — with a strength that would do Mrs. Hicks proud — that his pure goodness makes everything he believes correct. Thus when he produces a minutes of a group meeting, that minutes will contain only the one thing that was on his mind, his fantasies about how the meeting related to his proposal, and nothing about the other 75% of what happened right there in front of his nose.

    This is, uh, suboptimal behavior. Some dare call it “stoo-pid.” It leads quite quickly to his ever so kind and gentle threats, and in no time at all there are lawyers involved…

    Could MindValley perhaps give positivity some equal time? Equal time for realism, that is?

    Best,

    -dlj.

    Reply
  • July 13, 2015 at 11:20 pm

    Hi dlj: Thanks for the comment – I would say you describe quite a cast of characters. I would dare to add that positivity taken to extreme, idiosyncratic and self-serving positions stops being positive for anyone else. Thanks for an interesting comment – Suzanne

    Reply
 

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