Comments on
Love in Long-Distance Relationships


A long-distance relationship or LDR is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance. No one is geographically undesirable anymore but many are geographically challenged with the goal of maintaining love at a distance.

50 thoughts on “Love in Long-Distance Relationships

  • January 30, 2010 at 2:50 am

    You dont really know what you are saying when the term “distance” is concerned. I was involved for three wonderful years with a wonderful woman from Tokyo japan – She was terrific and we talked about everyday — for her. This amounted to 3 AM for me and we talked for 2 hours which totaled up to a big loss of sleep just practically speaking and I begann to fall apart at my job and also fall asleep at the wheel while driving — I miss her so very much and loved her with all my heart and soul but she determined that I didnt visit her in Japan as often as her job allowed that she fly into LAX and so to her, I was not meeting her half way
    I think we met one another far more than half way and I would do anything to connect with her again
    But she told me not to — God I miss her!
    BUt distance is a real killer!! You’ll find a way? Yes the only way is marriage and live under one roof- TOGETHER!

    Reply
  • January 30, 2010 at 8:35 am

    I just came out from a long distance relationship… We were like this for a year and a half. He was just coming out from a “bad relationship” had just been separated and while we were together he “got a divorce”. The relationship started out as friends and then it turned into something stronger… I was always reasuring the love, I even helped him out with things related to his job, things I was able to do at a distance, I even got new clients for him and did many things to show support and love. We used to tell each other everything, the first 2 months of our relationship we saw each other every 15 days, then for seven months we only had text messages, phone calls, Skype, E mails and we had to trust each other. Then we saw each other again, I moved in with him, but he was never able to give me my place and everytime his “ex wife” called he would run, panic, etc… I left his house and went back to my country… Weeks later he left with her on a trip and he told me he was going alone with the kids. We broke up… Months later he looked for me and since I was in love I gave it another try… Well we saw each other at the begining of the year after he told me he loved me, I was the love of his life, he didn’t want to lose me, I am his happiness, BUT he had to go back to his ” ex wife” since he felt that he didn’t give everything to solve the problems they had ( after being separated once before a yet before he did it for good) and he needed to live with his decision… Buy he said and I quote: ” I will be back with you, but I don’t know when.” why am I telling you all this? I am looking for an answer of how to get over a LDR.. How can I feel less guilty? I know I gave everything I got… Never cheated nor lied… But he did, many times and still after Ll those lies I was still there and still am… How can I fall out of love? Thank you!

    Reply
    • January 31, 2010 at 9:53 pm

      Nana: Thanks for sharing this comment. I’m not sure there is a quick solution or recommendation for falling out of love. I do ask folks to consider that if the relationship is not growing or moving honestly or making them feel better and better, something is not right. As you say you were giving it all you had and never getting back more
      than a promise of maybe. There seems a strong enough pattern of his never truly addressing his life to suggest that it’s not likely to happen. One way to lower the pain of such a situation is to consider loving you – Consider that the reason we often feel guilty is that we would rather blame ourselves than someone we are trying to love despite the fact that they are not loveable. After all, if we blame you we don’t have to look to closely at him. Believe in yourself – you sound like someone with a great deal to give – Thanks, Suzanne

      Reply
  • January 30, 2010 at 11:05 am

    EVERY TIME you think of him, say to yourself, “I deserve more!”

    Reply
    • January 31, 2010 at 9:38 pm

      Shellia: Thanks for your comment – Suzanne

      Reply
  • January 30, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    Thanks for your comment – I do have to appreciate your experience that “long distance” can be at time not just painful but impossible. I think you do bring to the forefront for us the pain of clashing expectations. It sounds like it was a passionate and workable arrangement for you, but somehow she wanted and expected more. Expectations are difficult enough when people have the day to day,face to face life together and in that context couples have the benefit of continually clarifying what and how they feel in verbal and nonverbal ways, in the reaction to a movie, in an unexpected conversation. It is more difficult for folks loving at a distance when time together is so precious. It is more difficult to ” read” things at a distance. No easy answers – I do encourage you to believe in you and what you offered – Suzanne

    Reply
  • January 30, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    Thank you for this article, it is very helpful. My situation is one not mentioned here though. My partner is only a 30 minute drive away but I can only see him once every 4 days and talk to him when he calls collect as he is currently in jail. We do write letters often and he calls and I visit when I can. Is there anything specific we could write about or talk about to maintain the closeness we had before he went there so we can be happy together again when he gets out?

    Reply
    • January 31, 2010 at 9:37 pm

      e.berry: Thanks for your comment. Your situation is challenging, but it sounds like you are very important to each other and that’s the basis for your connection. I think your letter writing is wonderful. Some people say that each of us has a story that we tell about ourselves and that we add to it, edit it, and even alter it thoughout our lives. Partners have stories also. You may want to try writing the story of some of your best memories with your partner. He might do the same and it would be interesting to exchange and share. That might be a way of holding on to the early times. Don’t overlook the present situation as an important part of your story together.Sometimes it is the most difficult times, the times when partners are apart – that they never forget. They are the challenges in their stories – a very important proof of their resiliency. Best to you – Suzanne

      Reply
  • January 30, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    I can agree, a long distance relationship is the hardest thing to deal with, Even though you want to trust that that person is faithful, and a man/women of their word, it’s hard when you get use to a certain way then all of a sudden things start to change. Your mind can’t help to wonder what’s going on with that person, or just are they thinking about you, are they with someone, these are just the feelings we have to face when it’s concerning long distance relationships. I have/had my share of having to deal with long distance relationships and i can say it has it’s good and bad points.

    Reply
    • January 31, 2010 at 9:23 pm

      Keisha- Thanks for this valuable comment. You really capture the challenge of long distance relationship. Sometimes we are just drawing on trust and sometimes it is worth re-evaluating what’s happening, changing needs, different responses. It is not always easy but the more authentic each partner can be about re-evaluating what is and isn’t working ,the clearer the expectations and level of security can be – thanks again- Suzanne

      Reply
  • January 30, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    I am with this guy and we’ve known each other for about 13 years and we are’nt living together.we are 30-45min away from each other.

    Reply
    • January 31, 2010 at 9:16 pm

      Sara: It is not the time, place or distance – there are no rules – if it works for you both – it works- Thanks for your comment – Suzanne

      Reply
  • January 30, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    I disagree. Distance is not a killer at all. If you truly love the one your with you can make it through anything. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my fiance now for over a year and half while he’s been away in the military on tour. Yes we’ve argued, in fact there was a time where we fought daily, almost hated each other. Then after awhile we both got sick of the fighting, we questioned our relationship but we both realized we loved each other and we were letting distance and our own individual stress effect our relationship. Yes distance is hard to cope with when you miss someone so much but you have to find something inside your self to hold on to them. I always remind myself how I’d rather hear his voice and see him over skype and have text messages from him than ever losing him completely. I’ve learned I can not demand for time with him but make the most out of the time we do have. He is my best friend and where the distance factor is hard it is not a killer, it has definitely made our communication skills great! I love him just as much as I did the first time we said I Love you..

    Reply
    • January 31, 2010 at 9:14 pm

      Deven- Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your long-term relationship. It is very valuable to hear that you and your partner were able to recognize the stress and strain underscoring the fighting and that you were able to re-evaluate the benefits of the relationship to both of you. I bet your communication skills are great! thanks, Suzanne

      Reply
  • January 31, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    My boyfriend and I re-connected through Classmates 5 1/2 yrs ago (we’ve known each other since the 4th grade and are now in our 40’s). He was living in Idaho, and I was in California. We did the long-distance thing for a year, and then I moved to Idaho. I was there for 4 yrs; things weren’t moving forward for us so we broke up, and I had been unemployed for a year and a half, so I moved back to California. We kept in contact with each other, and now, 6 mos later, we’re back together and he’s moving back here to California. The separation made him realize that he does want more – marriage, family, etc. He comes down once a month so we have some time together, and we text and talk constantly. I waited 5 yrs for it, and can’t wait to start our life together. If you truly love each other, you can make it.

    Reply
    • January 31, 2010 at 9:09 pm

      Wendy- thanks for sharing your long-distance relationship experience with a terrific ending – Suzanne

      Reply
  • January 31, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    I agree that LDRs can work as long as both parties are committed to making it work. If you are married it involves staying committed to the vows that you made on your wedding day and meeting each other halfway and keeping the lines of communication open and showing the loyalty that you have for your life together. A very strong willingness to make the best of the separation but also to make an effort to be together as often as possible to make a connection face to face giving the relationship a physical presence. I don’t necessarily mean sexual although that can be a part of the physical presence. Sometimes a hug, a kiss or even holding hands can give you the closeness that you need to know that you still have a strong and loving relationship.

    Reply
    • February 1, 2010 at 12:01 am

      Carol: Thanks for your sentiments and for re-enforcing the power of making the best of separations as well as the effort to be together to reconnect in some way- Suzanne

      Reply
  • February 1, 2010 at 12:40 am

    I have already lived that experience twice one time with my actual husband. We met 16 years ago but we were still too young to get married. Then after 2 or three years of long distance love he broke up with me because he wanted a real girlfriend. I was devastated, I cryed and cryed one day! I only had one more year to finish my degree to be able to go with him but deep inside I was afraid to leave all family and friends to go to America. I expected that if he loved me enough he would move to my country Mexico. That didn’t happen that time.
    It took me time to recover and I finally looked for local boyfriends with no luck until one day on vacation on the beach I found my second long distance love. This time he lived in Europe and even farther than the firts one. Any way this time it only took me 4 months to realize that I had to move with him to keep the fire going! I thought I can’t make mistake twice…. And certainly not you can repeat the situation but it is never one like the other… This time I was free to leave but it was the first time I gave up all my belongings…! It was mix emotional to leave! A lot Of uncertainty and false expectations that lasted for one year.

    But once I was there things changed dramatically!! He had very different expectations of his girlfriend. He wanted me to be a home girl. He did not want me to work or anything. I was a bit bored being by myself in a foreign country and no friends nor family. I was a very worried about my family a distance with them did not work… When I thought the relationship should upgrade to a marriage he decided to end it to try another girl. I could not believe it but it happened to me again…..! I was so scared of relationships and hurt that I had given up on that but my old boyfriend somehow got in touch with me and invited me to spent a week with him at his place.

    I delayed that for about six months until I finally decided that you have to give it a try or say no.

    I decided to go an I needed a good excuse to go so I said if I get a Job interview there I will go. And few weeks later I was there. We saw each other and when our eyes finally met I knew I was in trouble. I was connected to him to the heart!!! My mind said no but my lips wanted to kiss him.
    We date long distance for 3 month this time and we finally got married 4 months later!! The rest is history…. Life together is great now after five years but at the begining it was a lot of adjusting for both parts!! We may have to live again separate due to work and it is a challenge but I think our love can survive again after 16 years we are still in love! Live while you can!

    My advice is to give it a try but marry after few months…! Good luck!

    Reply
  • February 1, 2010 at 3:59 am

    I met my childhood love,he lives very far away from me, he’s not happy in his relationship, and I’m not happy in mine, he decides that we should work on getting together for life. He made all kinds of nice promises. The e-mails used to be so hot that we used to make love on the phone and via e-mails. As I became available, I don’t feel the same interest from him anymore, but he lets me to believe that if it is God’s will, we’ll be together. Now, he calls me less, and doesn’t talk about us anymore, he doesn’t discuss our future together anymore. He avoids my questions about the relationship. When he calls me, he shows great concerns, but I see it more as friendship. I don’t know where I stand with him in terms of love relationship. What should I do.

    Reply
    • February 2, 2010 at 10:48 am

      Favana: Thanks for your comment. This sounds like a difficult situation. Wanting clarity of the relationship status is realistic and appropriate. You really have the right to ask ” What’s up?” Often this feels frightening – like it is better not to know. Your feelings can be your guide – if ” not knowing” keeps you anxious and unhappy – asking, regardless of the answer, may put you back in control of making good things happen in your life whether up close or at a distance – Suzanne

      Reply
  • February 1, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    If you are feeling something in your heart drawing you? Follow it. I have a wonderful man, (my boyfriend, whom I believe to be my future husband) we met on facebook nearly 1 1/2 years ago. We live 1400 miles apart. We started out as friends, and I actually was giving him marriage advice at the time! We are both divorced. I decided to fly out and meet him…and since then? We have flowered into a “LDR” (which I am not really fond of that title, lol.) We both own our seperate businesses, have children from our prior marriages, deal with ex’s..My ex and I share joint custody.I see my children all the time. My ex is a roller coaster of emotions all of the time. My boyfriend only sees his son 3 days a week; his ex is hostile, mentally unstable, and a huge stress factor to say the least. All of that mixed into our LDR makes not only the distance difficult, but filled with constant “ex” induced mental anguish. We are both kind, tender hearted people who thrive on physical touch, and intimacy. Our situation makes it difficult to maintain a “normal” relationship. The need for a touch, hug, kiss, is physically NOT there when we both so desperately need and want it from one another. We have argued and misunderstood each other more lately-but after reading some of this, maybe it is both of our insecurities? I never knew myself to be a jealous person, until now. He has a group of friends he has met through meet-up groups…and that of course includes women. Yes I have met some of these people when I go and visit him. But I am obviously missing when we are apart! We see each other nearly 4-6 week intervals.
    Why can’t I accept the fact that he goes out with his friends just to help cope with our distance? I don’t have that option here. I am missing out on vital parts of his life. I don’t go out often, I avoid the bar scene, and don’t have groups of people to turn to. I have the gym, and my children..and sadly, my ex is my only friend here, and he is an emotional wreck himself.
    The missing piece of our puzzle is each other! We text, call, skype, email ALL the time. It may be easy from the outside looking in, to say “why do you put yourselves through all of that?”
    Live on your love…and follow your heart!
    HOW DO WE STRENGTHEN OURSELVES, KEEP OUR MINDS FROM GOING TOWARDS THE NEGATIVE, AND STAY CONFIDENT SO WE CAN ENDURE ALL THE DISTANCE PLUS OTHER NEGATIVES MIXED INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP?

    Reply
    • February 2, 2010 at 10:39 am

      Kristi: thanks for your comment. Your question of how we strengthen ourselves and …stay confident is a good one and just in the asking it sounds like you are headed there. It seems that the balance of finding ways to take care of our own needs and finding ways to connect and reassure our partner helps relationship security. It sounds like your partner has more of a network of support to help him with the distance than you have and maybe the jealousy you feel about that can be a point of information for gettting something you really need more of yourself. Notwithstanding the distance – you do sound connected! Suzanne

      Reply
  • February 2, 2010 at 10:40 am

    I am currently in a long distance relationship and have been for the past four years. Although we don’t get the chance to see each other daily, we communicate throughout the day as much as we can. I love him with all my heart and feel blessed to have someone like him in my life. We look forward to getting married soon and starting our new life together.
    Don’t let distance take away from what’s really important… LOVE

    Reply
  • February 2, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    Thank you Suzanne. I will follow your advice, and do more to fight the “jealousy” mess. With God’s help, I can do it. Today has been a difficult one, a dear family member of his, Aunt B, the only one who really cares about and shows him affection? Was diagnosed with lung cancer, bone cancer, and given 6months to live today. She lives in Long Island, he is in Florida. His mother died from ovarian cancer 2 years ago, and his father has been battling cancer-successfully so far. The rest of is family is non-supportive and unloving. Talk about gut wrenching, and how precious time is. If we make it through these even more difficult days ahead, while apart? We will and can make it through anything. Thanks again. Kristi

    Reply
  • February 2, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    I am currently in a Long Distance Relationship. It is hard when you want to see the one you love but have to wait until the weekend or month end. However we have been together for almost three years now and it is going well.

    The best thing about LDR is that the courtship period feels neverending, and everytime you see the one you love, it is like love at first sight all over again. The quote “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is truly for real.

    We will be married this August and I know that our love will stand the test of time because we belong to the same religion, have many things in common and are not afraid to disagree with each other. I love him dearly and with God at the helm of a relationship, nothing can break it down. PUT GOD FIRST AND HE WILL SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

    Reply
    • February 2, 2010 at 9:52 pm

      Alana: thanks for your comment. It sounds like you and your partner found a way to make a long-distance relationship work – Best to you, Suzanne

      Reply
  • February 3, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    My boyfriend and I have known each other our entire lives. We’ve dated in the past, but this time we have been together for a few years now. We are both in college in two different states. Fortunately for us, our states are right next door so we try to visit each other every Thanksgiving, Xmas, Spring break and Summer. It’s been working out so well that way because we really miss each other, but its just getting harder. I am always thinking of ways for us to see each other because I miss him so much. I have such high hopes for us to take our relationship to the next level by moving in together sometime next year. I’m really excited about that, but sometimes my pessimistic side sneaks up on me. Because we are in school and can’t really control how long it takes to complete our degree, it may take longer than a year before we can live together. We have been dealing with the distance for 4 yrs now, I hate to think that it could possibly be another year until we are seeing each other on a constant basis. He hates when I start thinking negative, but I can’t help it if I’m scared sometimes. I have never felt this way about a guy before. I am so in love with him!

    Reply
    • February 5, 2010 at 1:07 am

      Dear distance Makes the Heart Grow fonder: It sounds like it has not been easy. It is interesting that some studies suggest that men have more difficulty with expressed negativityand pessimisim in LTR’s than women – perhaps they feel badly that they can not immediately change what is making their partner unhappy. I would focus on the good things and make interesting plans for those times together that you do have- even if it is a year until the degrees are finished. We say when we cannot change a situation – we try to increase our capacity to cope with it. Think about what might be making you scared and see if you feel that way when you are actually with him or just when you feel the strain of the distance – it just may be a relationship worth waiting for – Best Regards, Suzanne

      Reply
  • February 4, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    How do I pass the time away when I feel so lonely that I don’t know what to do? It is impossible for him to come and see me now. What do you do when talking just isn’t enough.

    Reply
    • February 5, 2010 at 1:21 am

      Dear Gettin Thru the Hard Times: I think trying to pass the time away is like watching the clock – never easy. I would focus on things that build me up socially, physically, intellectually etc. so that when I did see him I had lots to share and I felt the best I could be. Essentially you can’t control seeing him – but you can control what you can do with your time. It is often very uplifting to a partner to hear about what their partner is doing in addition to waiting. When you are busy time is easier – because you reclaim it. Good Luck Thanks for your comment – Suzanne

      Reply
  • February 7, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    i met a man about a year ago.he had a 1month vacation here with his family.for a month we use to see each other everyday and had happy moments together.after a month,they had to go back to canada and had to leave me here in the philippines.it was such a painful experience that i had to let him go.he promised to come,but when?i just dont know.we use talk and see each other on skype but something had to change when i started to work.we always have conflicts on our schedule.we use to fight almost everyday and i just wanna give up everything.he has things and work and i have mines too but i love him so much that i dont think i would be able to live my life again without him.he wanted us to get marry so he could bring me to his country,but i couldnt just leave my parents alone here for they were too old and no ones gonna take care of them.what shall i do?please help.thanks

    Reply
  • February 7, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    i met a man about a year ago.he had a 1month vacation here with his family.for a month we use to see each other everyday and had happy moments together.after a month,they had to go back to canada and had to leave me here in the philippines.it was such a painful experience that i had to let him go.he promised to come back here,but when?i just dont know.we use talk and see each other on skype but something had to change when i started to work.we always have conflicts on our schedule.we use to fight almost everyday and i just wanna give up everything.he has things and work and i have mines too but i love him so much that i dont think i would be able to live my life again without him.he wanted us to get marry so he could bring me to his country,but i couldnt just leave my parents alone here for they were too old and no ones gonna take care of them.what shall i do?please help.thanks

    Reply
    • February 10, 2010 at 2:48 pm

      Dear Jane: Thanks for your comment. This is certainly difficult situation for you. Sometimes it is hard to consider that some relationships are wonderful in one context but just can’t be worked out in another. It sounds like you tried. It also sounds like you made a decision that you believed in to remain for your parents. Respect yourself for your life decisions – all the effort can not come from you. See how it unfolds while you fill your life with other possibilites and options – Best Regards, Suzanne

      Reply
  • February 10, 2010 at 8:34 am

    I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 9 months, and he’s the first man I’ve ever thought could lead to marriage. My long-distance problem has only beengoing on for a shorter period of time than most of the posts above, but I am heart broken.

    We both live around Philadelphia, PA. He is from State College, PA, which is about 4-5 hours away, and he’s been in his home town for the last 5 weeks. He went up there to help clear out his father’s house (which they recently put up for sale b/c his father was put into a nursing home), and to get his truck worked on by a family friend. In the 5 weeks that he’s been there, he has done very, very little work in his father’s house and his truck was just dropped off at the garage a week ago and the trusted family friend still has not started working on it. Since he’s been up there, things have not been going well between us. For the first few weeks, he barely called and when I called him, he was always in the middle of something or could only talk for 10-15 minutes b/c he was about to go do something. After 2 weeks of barely talking, I told him I was upset and missed him. He told me to “just calm down,” but then the next day started calling more often and sending cute “thinking of you” text messages throughout the day. After a week of that, I drove the 4 hours to see him and spent the weekend with him. We were both tense and agitated and sniping at each other on Friday night, had a great day and night Saturday, and were aggravated and stressed again on Sunday before I left. Over the past two weeks, he’s still calling often and texting, but our conversations feel strained b/c he’s still not making any progress, and I miss him so much, but I don’t want to ask him how things are going b/c every time I do, he gets aggravated and snaps at me.

    How can I calm down and reduce my anxiety about him being away from me, when I can’t get rid of the feeling that he could be home if he would just get his act together and take care of the things he went up there to do? How can I not miss him so much that it prevents me from having a normal, light conversation with him?

    I feel like I’m going crazy!

    Reply
  • February 23, 2010 at 1:12 am

    Thanks for this comment: The lack of clarifying expectations and the wait and see posture rarely brings clarity or realtionship stability. You make a very good point when you underscore the importance of both partners being attached and active in taking the relationship to where they want it. Regards, Suzanne

    Reply
  • March 10, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    Suzanne, thanks for your beautifully written words and thoughts and sharing with us..
    I have been in love and a relationship with my man for 9 months so far,, and as i say it needs 9 months to have a baby born, and to have a relation mature, I guess.. we live 3 hours distance by flight, and till now he came 3 times to be with me. the burning thing is this waiting.. this distance,it burns Suzanne.. I am writing to you from my bed. i have flu, but missing him, needing him, makes me more sick…i’m a adeeply romantic woman,,a real giver, and miss being able to give him, pamper him.. my close friends are asking me to go get a life- keep my normal life going,, but this cannot be the same as before.. i want to do my acitivites with him- cinema together, dinning togther, walking together…if feels lonely still if I have the whole world around but not he… we spoke about marriage.. but it will take a while to have it, a year, two three, i do not know,,,, do you think a long-distance relationship can stand much time distanace?? love does not change but people do..
    I need him, want him by myside,, maybe not only cause of love,, but cause I think of death as i do of life,, no one knows when their hour comes, and I always have the fear of losing people I love,, without spending much time, sharing happiness and sorrow with,,. life is so short..

    my closest friend advised me to make him feel my life is stunning and I am happy with my family and friends,, and there is no problem,, and I do not need him,,how can i be like this if I am not like this,, how can I make myself feel what I cannot feel?
    Love is a desire, need, wanting,, not slavery,, so why women shall show off and’bitch’up so men can feel them more,, and want them more,, i dislike this idiot stereotype and way of tackling things

    I do not want to wait for sacrifices from his side,, i just want to be with him, through it all,, pains and laughters,, grass and dust,,sushi’s and pagel’s…i miss him…
    pride and patience are stupid ps i love..

    Thanks Suzanne…it suffices that we are born and will die with hearts that beated for love every single breath..

    Reply
    • March 16, 2010 at 5:44 pm

      Hello Fatima: Thanks for your personal comment. You clearly sound like you have a great deal to bring to a relationship. The real question about holding on to the love and desire in a long term relationship whether there are shared dreams and expectations. If you feel that the other person is working as hard as you to let you know his love and desire, is trying to plan ways to be together, is reciprocating the kind of wishes you have for him – then people can live at a distance and feel emotionally loved and held. If, on the other-hand, it feels like your authentic expressions are not being matched- then believe in your loving self and consider whether someone else may deserve your love more – Thanks again for your thoughts, Suzanne

      Reply
  • March 16, 2010 at 12:15 am

    Hello Suzanne, this is such a wonderful post! Thank you for sharing this. In addition to the points you raised, long-distance relationship can survive if a couple creates a mutual intention for their relationship. This means a couple should come up with a clear, concise statement for what they both want to create in their relationship. Once a mutual intention is created, they can work together in forming a lasting and loving relationship.

    Reply
  • March 19, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    I am in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful man. Recently, we both said and did a lot of hurtful things to each other (it was a situation that started out small and escalated to huge). I did the most hurtful thing I could possibly have done to him (no, I didn’t have an affair–but it was still a very dreadful thing, and we both know that I did it on purpose, just to hurt him), and hurt him so terribly that he has almost completely withdrawn from me. He agreed to try again, and see if we could heal the relationship, and we both do love each other very much, but it’s so difficult to heal something like this when our contact is limited to electronic text formats, and when it’s so easy for him to refuse to connect. Does anyone have any advice for me as to how to go about rebuilding the love and trust we once shared? This current situation is breaking my heart and tearing me up inside. I can’t give up on the relationship though, because I simply love him too much. Please help.

    Reply
 

Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum. Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment. Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *