9 thoughts on “Loneliness and Depression: New Findings and Strategies

  • September 21, 2011 at 11:36 am

    Great Article. Much as I was not a huge fan of the ‘Human Givens’ there is a good chapter in there that promotes contact with others as a fundamental need of humans just as food and water. Similarly there are a number of case studies of the devastating effect that isolation can have on prisoners.

    One of the challenges faced by this form of reframing is how to help people that feel LONLIER when they are in company due to social phobias. Such people typically want to be included but these feelings are overridden by their sense of inadequacy and resultant fear of being shamed.

    All of this still goes to underline the essential otherness of being human.

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  • September 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    This is a really interesting article about the distinction and connection between loneliness and depression. I can completelly see how loneliness can lead to depression. First you may isolate leading to loneliness and that leads to depression later on. Pets do wonders for both too. Wonderful article:)

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  • September 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    Yes, I am lonely, although I am the most outgoing person I know. Getting a divorce after 31 years (of abuse) was the scariest thing I ever did (only fear I ever had was that of being alone).

    Seven years into alone….I am a freshman at age 64, because I wrote about my life and won a scholarship; I stay as busy as I can…..have a cat, believe in God, moderator of an abused survivors’ group, written 2 books.

    I don’t lack confidence, sleep like a “rock” and have wonderful friends and family, although no one to go out and do things with.

    Not having a partner is the worst….Fortunately, I was born an optimist (and an HSP), AND have learned to make the best of whatever comes my way.

    The church thing; well, they voted me out of membership (on my birthday 7 years ago….September 29th), with my name up on a big screen, followed by the words: “Conduct Unbecoming a Child of God.”

    So, no support there. Thank you for the article; would like to send you my story of overcoming if you would e-mail me ([email protected])

    Kindest Regards, Alicia

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  • September 21, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    Ciaran: Thanks for your comments. I do agree that the inability to join others or try out a group experience because of social phobias adds to the feelings of unworth and loneliness. I think it is the reason that having a purpose like volunteering,outreach where the roles are more clearly defined with others has been found to be easier and a benefit to all. Thanks again, Suzanne

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  • September 21, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    Parthwathy: Thanks for your comment- The link is certainly there and the pets are such a help.- Suzanne

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  • September 21, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Alicia: Thanks for sharing your journey with our readers.You exemplify the stratgies and the ups and downs – your sense of humor is clearly a plus. Thanks,Suzanne

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  • September 22, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    I’ve been married for 31 years in October and I love my husband but I feel lonely in my marriage. I often have felt that I was not valued except as someone to do chores and have sex with. Now we sleep in separate bedrooms. I feel like I’m going to die of neglect! He doesn’t connect with people on an emotional level-not even with me.I have problems making close friendships as well, but my social life is improving.I don’t want a divorce. I just wish I knew what to do to make things better.

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    • March 5, 2012 at 11:11 pm

      Ellen: Thanks for this comment. It seems that if your husband is incapable, as you say of emotional connection, but you want to stay in the marriage – your involvement with making personal friends is a crucial one. It does sometimes happen that we are surprised by our partners. Some folks do have trouble with social intimacy but they never miss a bowling night if they are on a league, they are at choir practice every thursday although they don’t talk much – I wonder if there is a structured activity that you both might share as a first step that keeps the actual social emotional in the background and involvement in an activity in the forefront – maybe a first mini step – keep making friends – you might even have the friends over – you never know!! Thanks, Suzanne

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  • December 14, 2013 at 2:12 am

    Why people is so afraid to get divorce.find something to do,volunteer somewhere.Live life for Godnes sake. We.re in this world to be happy, content and to do what we please. Take card of yourself. I know is not easy I’s married for 32 yrs but I’m content.Living or sleeping in the next room is like u still marry, the cooking etc.etc.you still taking care of the depressed, angry,lonely husband. Don’t feel sorry for him, feel sorry of you. You’ re stuck until death take u first.Good luck!!!

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