11 thoughts on “Men and the Danger of Hidden Depression

  • May 25, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    Some good points here. As a counselor for men in Phoenix, I think there are layers of defense unique to men. In relationships, men hide, avoid and generally stuff their feelings, or do alienate their partner by blowing up. Men emote in a culturally-responsible way, which, is to say, get angry. Helping to teach men that it’s o.k. to defy how they’ve been brought up to hide their feelings and start to help them make emotional contact with themselves, they become better equipped to meet the demands of love and work, and improve their self-esteem in the process. Thanks for a good article, and I look froward to more on men’s issues from this blog. Check my own blog out on men’s mental health issues, including depression, at http://www.phoenixmenscounseling.com. Thanks!

  • May 26, 2011 at 1:44 am

    Jason: Thanks for your comment.I see from your very interesting blog about relationships that we are both underscoring the pain and problems associated with hiding feelings-Suzanne

  • May 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Very interesting article.

    Witin my own sphere of friends and family i know at least twice as many women then men who have been treated for depression. But i agree i am sure that there are far more men out there suffering in silence.

    From my own experience aggression was major factor in the two men i know who finally sought treatment. It wasn’t until they found themselves acting aggressively to small things and in such an out of character way did they realize that they needed help.

    Unfortunately i do think that it will be hard to break through the barriers of the male ego and the whole men should be strong factors regarding illness.

    I am a stress advisor and find that men so more reluctant to off load and to be proactive where their health is concerned. It takes far more convincing and coercing to get them to try even the simplest stress relieving techniques.


  • May 26, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Kate: Thanks so much for you comment and your link on stress reduction. I think you really underscore for us how aggression is often the mask of depressive feelings in men. It is important that on many levels we reduce the barriers of care for them – Suzanne

  • May 28, 2011 at 10:04 pm

    Thankyou. The following three sites have helped me understand that depression has many guises. The “Midlife” site has a list of “female” and “male” symptoms but I prefer to think about them as “Passive” and “Bellicose” symptoms as I have seen many men with the former and many women with the latter. If someone starts commenting that a friend is suddenly acting like an idiot, I think “Bellicose” depression has to be excluded.
    The sites: http://www.iambackfromthebrink.com especially the blog

    and this book http://www.maggiehamilton.org/booksandaudio/whatmen.htm

  • June 5, 2011 at 4:58 am

    Everyone experiences times when they are sadder than usual, but when those emotions do not seem to go away, there may be something else going on, requiring depression treatments. The most common signs of despair is embracing ideas of suicide, trouble falling and staying asleep and emotions of anxious hopelessness. If someone thinks their unhappiness may very well be depression, they need to not waste any time in discussing despair remedies with their physician.

  • June 6, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Jenny: Thanks for your comment – you really underscore some of the signs that may indicate depression. Yes, it is very important that you reach for help. I would not rule out a general physican as ” one” of the places you turn because there is at times a medical situation that is manifesting with similar symptoms. It can be an important first step. Given that it may well be the psychological pain of depression, reaching for the help of mental health professions is important – Thanks, Suzanne

  • September 2, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    My friend and I have been discussing personal blogs and online journaling. She feels that personal feelings and such should not expressed in such open forums. I see no problem with it. Share your thoughts:. 1. Do you blog or journal?. 2. Do you prefer face to face expression of feelings over written communication?

  • November 5, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    You completed several nice points there. I did a search on the theme and found most people will go along with with your blog.

  • May 27, 2012 at 5:55 am

    Great article. This is totally right and the symptoms are not “typical” because it’s often mixed state. People with cyclothymia are prono to it.

    Better to express pain and grief and ask for others (psys or loved one).

    Being fragile is not a shame, it’s our condition.
    Achilles, David, El Cid cried also…


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