Comments on
Thankful But Not Happy

be thankfulWhile many will sit down on Thursday to share some version of the traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner, they may well be thankful, but they may not be happy.

John Lennon tells us that “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

The holidays may come each year at a predictable time,

27 thoughts on “Thankful But Not Happy

  • November 24, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    My second T day after my divorce. We were always the hosts for the extended family gatherings. I will work that day to try and avoid all of the memories. I now really understand why so many people hate the holidays.

    • November 24, 2010 at 6:49 pm

      Andrew – thanks for your comment. Holidays can certainly be difficult as you know. It makes sense to have a plan – as you have- and to look beyond the ” holiday” for days and plans you can make and enjoy on your terms- Best Regards, Suzanne

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    • November 25, 2010 at 11:22 pm

      Elaa: Thanks for your comment. I hope you will continue to read and comment – Best Regards, Suzanne

  • November 27, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Thanks for writing about this topic. I always seem to connect or understand your blogs. Our family spoke at Thanksgiving about how much my Mom (who is deceased) would have loved the meal and speaking to all the guests.As our family has gotten bigger and we now have grandchildren, it is just impossible to fit my husband’s sisters and their families. We get together on the days that follow with family but then we cannot meet with our friends. The internet helps a little but there is nothing like meeting and seeing people that you love. Planning events and filling our calendar helps a lot.Thanksgiving is a much easier holiday to deal with than Christmas.

    • November 27, 2010 at 12:31 pm

      Linda: Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. You really sound like you find a way to have Thankgiving in a way that holds on to the many people that you love. Thanks – Suzanne

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  • December 3, 2010 at 8:23 am

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  • November 23, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Thank you for this blog/article. Since 1999, Thanksgiving and the days following are hard for me for my dad died from cancer just after Thanksgiving of that year. Recently, a dear, dear friend who was like an Aunt to me died – making Thanksgiving even more difficult. Hard to feel “thankful” when it feels like all the folks you love are dying around holidays.

    • November 23, 2011 at 10:41 pm

      Brenda: Thanks for your comment – Many people wonder how to feel thankful when the holiday reminds them of folks they loved who have died. While it is not so easy – see if you can remember what they loved at the holiday times- hold them in your heart. Take Care – Suzanne

  • February 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm

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  • August 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

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    • August 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm

      Hello Palmira – Thanks for the interest. The blog site title ” Healing Together for Couples” comes from the book I co-authored with Dr. Dianne Kane entitled “Healing Together: A Couple’s Guide for Coping with Trauma and Post-traumatic Stress” ( New Harbinger Press) – Suzanne

  • November 25, 2015 at 1:43 am

    So glad to find an article like this! I, too, am grateful for many things and people but every year I dread the holidays! I am single, middle aged and childless so that in itself can be difficult. Throw in surviving childhood abuse by a family member who is still welcomed and accepted at the family’s holiday gathering, as well as a recent reconciliation with my (half) brother and his girlfriend who will be there (they wouldn’t speak to me for 20 months because I had to make the painful decision to report them to dhs due to concern for my baby nephew), the alcoholism that several members (half) brother and his girlfriend) suffer from and the holiday becomes VERY difficult! I have been invited to have dinner with a friend and I’d rather do that even though I know my mom will wish i were there–and I will miss yet another holiday with my little nephew. The guilt is hard should I decide to go to my friend’s for the day!


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