Archives for Unspeakable Loss

General

The Loss of A Child to Suicide: Complicated Pain

The loss of a child is an unspeakable trauma. When that death is caused by suicide, the pain becomes more complicated.

There are 39,000 deaths a year by suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in the United States among 19-14 year olds and 15-14 year olds, and the second leading cause among 25-34 year olds. Spanning the ages, each of those who have taken their lives is someone’s...
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Anxiety

The Ohio Kidnapping Case:The Moral Injury of Witnessing Atrocity

In the past two weeks it has been difficult to be anywhere without reading or hearing about the Ohio Kidnapping, 10 year captivity, sexual abuse, torture and beatings causing miscarriages to three young woman and one daughter, locked in a neighborhood house by one man.

Both in and outside of my office people have commented and questioned:

How does something like this happen?
I can’t watch the news anymore.
How could the neighbors not know?
Why is...
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General

Surviving and Succeeding in Face of Uncertainty: Six Strategies

Events like the Boston Marathon Bombing, Hurricane Sandy’s Devastation, The Newtown CT School Shooting, and now the deadly earthquake in Nepal echo earlier events and assaults us with the uncertainties of life.

The reality of the sudden horror for those in Nepal terrified as they dig for loved ones and struggle to find safety starkly reminds us how connected we all are at moments of disaster.

Such events undermine our necessary denial that life is predictable, that...
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Anger

Understanding Anger in the Aftermath of Trauma and Disaster

“Is Anyone Else Angry?”
Trauma theorists tell us that while traumatic events are in themselves physically and emotionally assaultive, it is often the emotions suffered after the smoke clears and the media goes home that become painful and disruptive to our recovery. One of these is anger.

Anger in the aftermath of a traumatic event, be it the loss of a child, the destruction of one’s home, a life-threatening diagnosis or the...
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Authentic happiness

Coping with the Holidays: Family Bonds and Family Binds

While many may aspire to a Hallmark Holiday Season, the reality is that the holiday season involves real people in real families doing the best that they can do.

Most families are a group of related people of different ages with a mix of personalities, needs, feelings and expectations. They may be a nuclear family, an extended family, a reconstituted family or a blended family. In any case, they share an identity as family...
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charlie Walton

Connecticut Catastrophe: How Do You Face The Loss of Children?

One of our necessary beliefs is that children are safe in school with their teachers. One of the reassurances we make to our little ones is that nothing bad will ever happen in Kindergarten.

Today a small community in Connecticut saw those beliefs shattered as eight adults and 20 children were violently killed.

What do you say when children are killed?

The most realistic answer, I have found is given by author, Charlie Walton, a...
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Cancer

Finding New Meaning In Life After Trauma:Three Guidelines

This weekend the Wounded Warrior Project came to our town. Many had the opportunity to run the 4-mile race next to veterans and their families. The t-shirt of the young man in front of me read “ New Year’s Eve 5K, Afghanistan. ” Many were wearing shirts that read, “ If you Like Freedom- Thank a Vet.”  The father of a vet wore a shirt that read, “ We’ve got them back-Now Welcome...
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Anxiety

Recognizing and Understanding Depression After Trauma

Disaster and trauma studies often focus on identifying the incidence of PTSD as the sequel to traumatic events.

Early interventions with those affected after a disaster or traumatic event increasingly utilize psycho-education to clarify and normalize common post-traumatic stress reactions and coping strategies.

While mentioned as a possible response, the high incidence of depression after trauma is less delineated and often goes unrecognized by those suffering.

Depression Occurs after Trauma:

A Rand corporation study...
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