Archives for Guilt

affair

Key to Life After Divorce: A No-Fault Perspective

At the time of my parents’ divorce, “No-Fault” was neither a legal construct nor a psychological perspective my mother would have considered. My father was the one who had been involved in an affair. The marriage was over and he was clearly the person at fault.

Over the years many states have changed to “No-Fault” Divorce, a determination that means that partners are now only required to swear that the relationship between them has broken...
Continue Reading

couple disagreements

Is There Room For Forgiveness in Your Relationship?

What is Forgiveness in a Relationship?

With couples, forgiveness implies the recognition that although one has been hurt by the other, there is willingness to release the negative thoughts and feelings toward the other partner. Forgiveness is not about denial, condoning abusive behavior or remaining in a dangerous situation – it is about finding a way to go on. It is about dealing constructively with anger in a way that leaves room for love and trust....
Continue Reading

affair

Is There Privacy Or Secrecy In Your Relationship?

In a culture of cell phones, text messages, Facebook, tweets and instagrams, the definitions of privacy and secrecy are challenged and at times blurred.

You read my emails?

I can’t report every move I make in the course of a day.

Why can’t I check out my high school girlfriend on Facebook?

When it comes to relationships, partners often underestimate the importance of privacy and the danger of secrecy.

Privacy in relationships reflects trust and enhances intimacy. Secrecy in relationships...
Continue Reading

Anxiety

Recognizing and Understanding Depression After Trauma

Disaster and trauma studies often focus on identifying the incidence of PTSD as the sequel to traumatic events.

Early interventions with those affected after a disaster or traumatic event increasingly utilize psycho-education to clarify and normalize common post-traumatic stress reactions and coping strategies.

While mentioned as a possible response, the high incidence of depression after trauma is less delineated and often goes unrecognized by those suffering.

Depression Occurs after Trauma:

A Rand corporation study...
Continue Reading

common trauma symptoms

The Psychological Importance of “Our Stuff”

Well beyond the necessities and somewhere between collecting and hoarding…we all have ‘stuff.’

Be it the toy truck, the pasta bowl, the piano, the silver earrings or the old books, we all have stuff because psychologically we need stuff.

Sartre holds that "to have" (along with "to do" and "to be") is one of the three categories of human existence…

Wired for Stuff

Famous psychologist, Donald Winnicott, tells us that long before we could verbalize the...
Continue Reading

affair

Re-Connect With an Ex? Crucial Considerations

Recycling is a good idea, except when it comes to relationships.

Regardless of what people tell themselves about the time invested, the good times missed, the great sex, or the feeling that things will be different; in most cases the re-connection with an ex rarely brings a better outcome.

Research tells us that rekindling a relationship decreases happiness. Studies of college grads as well as larger national...
Continue Reading

affair

Renovate Your Relationship: Replace Unsafe Couple Dynamics

Regardless of how new or old your relationship, most couples can benefit from changing relationship dynamics that cause marital deterioration.

In a recent study in The Journal of Family Psychology, researchers, Lavner, Bradbury and Karney found in surveying 251 couples every six months for the first four years of their marriage, that despite the wish for marital fulfillment those whose marriages deteriorated were dealing with unsafe dynamics like...
Continue Reading

Benefits of Laughter

Do You Thank Your Partner? Recognizing Resistance-Understanding Benefits

“ Why Can’ t You Just Say, Thanks?”

If this sounds familiar it is because most of us have said it or heard it.

Most people want to feel appreciated, particularly by the person closest to them but too often the expression of gratitude gets lost in the fabric of couple’s lives.
Recent research in the field of positive psychology informs us that feeling gratitude, the awareness and appreciation of what is valuable...
Continue Reading

12