6 thoughts on “Is Suicide Painless?

  • September 27, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Respectfully: I would never recommend having a gun in the house, because I agree, that taking one’s life could be an impulsive action from where there is no return. I understand your attempt to defend life, believe me. People don’t realize that death is just a matter of time for each one of us. My father once told me “you don’t see a tree chopping it’s own roots; once you’re alive you too must live.” He ended up committed suicide, on the phone with me, across the world. My mother said, “I hope you are there to give me strength if I get there too.” None of them give too much thought to suicide. I have, for 60 years. And I am still here, aren’t I? However, during my journey I learned of compassion, self-empathy, even.
    I did emphasize that suicide is a “precious gem, to be used once, IF WE MUST.”
    I am sorry, but I do resent that someone who “has been there” tells me that I should continue with my misery because on the other side, there is something better waiting for me after I land on sanity land. I resent that someone else tells me that my life is not misery, really; that my own assessment of my own experience, is wrong. That this would be a transient period where I am not thinking straight. I resent that someone else who does not know me, and has never done anything to help with my pain, tells me that I will feel fear while jumping from the bridge. What? Are you a closeted priest? What’s wrong with fear? How many people jumped and died, and if they survived for some miracle, they would jump again? We don’t know, do we? It is biased to talk about the opinions of only those who were able to talk after the attempt. Let’s interview the other ones. This is the ultimate, even argued by my young psychiatrist: I have to exercise the codependence that I fought against for years: worry about the outside relatives/friends’ pain. If they love me, if they really know that my suffering is unbearable, that I have exhausted all means at being moderately content, they would be happy to see me go. That is no homicide, that is love. Fear of death is not one of my values, because it’s just a matter of time for us all. We are all gonna go; I just want to go in my own terms, and nobody, not you, not he readers can’t tell me that they don’t want the same thing for themselves. That they would not open that jewelry chest when the ultimate day arrives, and use the gem to visit permanently that unknown place where unsufferable pain vanishes for good.

    • September 27, 2013 at 12:23 pm


      I wasn’t advising you in particular. This blog reaches a wide audience, and I was addressing the suicide question more generally. In your earlier comment you didn’t make it clear that this is a decision-making process for you.

      Many people have gotten beyond suicidal depression to find rewarding lives. Others die. Some, probably, hang on but don’t find relief. The choice is for each person to make, and my hope is that they can make it from an informed position, while keeping the big picture in mind.

      I’m sorry you resent my words, but this piece was written from my own personal experience. Experience that I started this blog to share. I’m happy to hear your differing opinion. Those who read our perspectives can, and should, judge for themselves.

      I wish you well.


  • September 27, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    In a severe depression I did a creative writing practice with the lead beginning with “I want to know….”. So here is what came out of that dark moment in Sept, 2011.

    What I really want to know is how do I get through this. How do I survive this time, this depression? How do others fail to survive but I continue to? That is the real question that is what I really want to know. How do others fail to survive? How did their pain get so bad that they couldn’t see a way out?

    What I really want to know is how to understand it all, how to make others understand it all.

    What I really want to know is what am I going to do without a therapist? How am I going to survive on my own? What am I going to do? This episode is so different from the others – they always seem to be different from each other whether it’s in severity or duration. But now, now I am beginning to feel desperate. Tonight I’m fine, I had a good day and I feel okay, but what I really want to know is what will tomorrow bring? Will I still have that open window of hope to go through? Will I wake up in the morning and want to continue living or feel like there is nothing worth living for?

    What I really want to know is how I ended up this way? How pathetic is it really, to continue to feel like this, to continue to have these moments of crap thoughts, crappier feelings, feelings of despair and worthlessness of self loathing which I am beginning to see in my thoughts. My thoughts are changing, not for the better, but for the worse; they are descending, my thoughts, further down into the pit. And as I try to grab hold of them like gripping onto someone’s hand as they dangle from a cliff, they are slipping from my grasp and just as a life ends when the grasp of hands is lost so too is a life ended when the loss of grip on thoughts happens.

    Maybe that is how suicide happens – people just can no longer hold onto the thoughts, of themselves and as they scream their screams of terror on their decent to death at the bottom of the cavern of depression does anyone hear them scream? What I really want to know is as a person screams at the thought of their impending death does the scream become so faint that it becomes inaudible?

    What I really want to know is, as a person left alone in their darkest hour of their lives, dying, change their minds only to find out it’s too late?

    What I really want to know is how people can be angry with someone who has lost their life to their disease? What I really want to know is will I always have the strength to survive this?

    What I really want to know is will there always be someone to listen?

    • November 9, 2013 at 11:44 am


      For some reason I never saw this comment of yours. Please accept my apologies for not replying sooner. I feel your distress and want you to know I’m listening. Those dark emotions and thoughts have plagued me, off and on, for years. Nowadays I’m better at letting them flow through me without believing they demand action. I can accept that sometimes my mind visits dark territory. I can let it wander into the shadows, I can feel the cold terror of it, but I can wait. I can wait for things to shift, for the light to reemerge, for life to go on. It still hurts, but I can tolerate it better.

      I understand. I appreciate your sharing the product of your creative writing class.



    • September 5, 2017 at 10:36 pm

      I loved this! What I real want to know. Congratulations on your writing this. Just how I feel !!!!

  • September 27, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Dr. Meecham,
    Thank you for your incite and reasoning for living. I too attempted suicide, when I was twenty-five, and it was a huge mistake. I’ve sense devoted my life, the last twenty-six years, to helping others make a different choice.
    I’m now the president of International Suicide Prevention a 501(c)(3) public charity nonprofit. I’ve also taken the past twenty-six years of my experience in with helping others that are suicidal, and in post-suicide family support, to develop a new way to desensitize one’s self to a past trauma. I put one of these highly effective methods into a self-help ‘Suicide Prevention Guide Booklet’ available for free to download on our website in seven languages. I we do not have intense emotional suffering, life is worth living! I do not think that suicide will ever go away, but I do know that giving people the choice to end suffering without dieing will save most.
    Truly, Matthew


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