Comments on
How Much Can We Endure?

God never gives us more than we can handle.

IMHO, this famous saying speaks nonsense! Consider that between preschool and first grade I watched my mother slowly wither away and then die from depression after a painful divorce.

8 thoughts on “How Much Can We Endure?

  • February 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    Will, thank you for this poignant post. It is possible to learn and grow from trauma and chaos, but it’s not easy. I think your story shows that growth can occur at any time in life, not just right after trauma occurs.

    Thank you for this thoughtful post.

    • February 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm


      Indeed, an interval of time quite often passes between the injury and any sense of its positive aspects. To force a trauma into the ‘positive result’ box too soon can be a sign of denial. And when others push that interpretation on us, they often sound naive or callous. But with healing, we begin to see the grace ourselves.

      Thanks for the comment.


  • February 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    I’m interested in ACT. I’ve been meaning to pick up a book on it. I’ve read up on DBT a bit, which I do like. As difficult as mindfulness and acceptance can be, they seem to be easier in the long run than trying to turn every little negative into a positive. Just…watch it like a cloud scurrying by…

    I take solace in that nothing is permanent. I don’t need to be a victim to circumstances. I watched my mother destroy herself as well. My father almost did, but he climbed out of crisis. While he’s no longer drinking, he’s a bit like Eeyore from Winne-the-Pooh. Well, maybe a more gloomy version of Eeyore.

    Anyway, I appreciated this post. I had been wrestling with thoughts on mourning the ideal childhood and thus-I-cannot-cope-as-well-as-what-feels-like-everyone-else-in-the-world (yet isn’t) for quite a few years. It’s nice to hear from others who have had similar experiences.

    • February 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm


      ACT and DBT share similarities, especially the focus on mindfulness. DBT is, of course, a bit more structured, whereas ACT is broader in scope. They both teach emotional tolerance, which is a lot better than habitual avoidance. I’m actually surprised at what a difference this approach has made, as I’d just about given up hope of ever truly feeling mentally well. I write about the benefits in part to show that yes, even very painful childhoods can be overcome with the right strategies. I wish you well as you explore these paths.


  • February 25, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    I, too think the saying “God never gives us more then we can handle” is nonsense. I enjoyed reading this and will pass it on. It’s logical and to the point.

  • March 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    I know ‘GOD’ hates me if he even exists. All I get in life is bad people and bad situations. If it weren’t for my animals, I wouldn’t have a reason to live in this rotten world full of horrible mean people. Just yesterday my neighbor who has an easy life and does bad things insulted me about things that are already hurting my life. How evil people can be. I wish this was a way to get away from all these bad people. I just want to live in peace with my animals. People are so despicable, some have even put me down for loving my animals.

    • March 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm


      I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. It sounds like your animals bring you great comfort. So perhaps God, whatever that means, is reaching you through non-human channels. I wish you well.


  • May 27, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Your post always touch a chord-how you have kept rising after every set-back.It is evident that they perk up many who are depressed or bogged down.
    I am trying to do this in my own way through my blogs-i hope it helps.


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