Recently, one of my patients insisted that her boyfriend be able to read her every desire from her eyes. As she contemplated what it would be like to let go of this habit, she asked a question that gets to the heart of letting go: “Do you want to be right or do you want to he happy?”
We all have our attachments.
We get attached to the idea that our spouses should know exactly what our needs are. We get attached to knowing our way to work and get pissed off when the road is blocked. We get attached to things always going our way and feel stifled when they don’t.
Sometimes we have to literally let go of a relationship that is no longer a good idea.
When a friendship has run its course and feels chronically stale or exhausting. When an ex is moving on with his life and doesn’t have time for us anymore. When a relative is destroying himself with drugs or alcohol and we realize that we only sustain the addiction.
Life is difficult at times. There is no one who is spared. Pain is necessary so we can appreciate the joy of life. There is not one without the other.
The earlier we can accept that, the less we will suffer. Only then can we be free.