Archives for March, 2012

Anxiety and Worry

Social Anxiety 911

Social anxiety happens. It happens to millions of people, and it feels excruciating and isolating. Many of us have been in the grip of social anxiety: that panicky feeling when we would rather disappear into thin air than being around (certain) people.

Sometimes we have no choice. We can't get away, as much as we'd like to. We have to be around our boss/coworkers/family members/God knows who else.

Here...
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Anxiety and Worry

What It’s Like To Have A Highly Sensitive Partner

Sometimes our partners become very irked and wounded when we just try to make conversation. They take any little comment as a criticism of them and turn a harmless inquiry into a paranoid insult.

If it feels like you have to walk on eggshells, that doesn’t mean your partner has a borderline personality disorder. They might just be a gentle soul on the verge of a breakdown.

One of the couples I see, let’s...
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Anxiety and Worry

Will The Good Girl Please Stand Up

So many of us have been made to grow up as pleasers, as "good girls" and "sweet boys."  The expectation of our parents was that we behave at all times. It wasn't allowed to have an angry meltdown, or even to cry in desperate pain.

Some of us were disciplined and forced into submission. We were reprimanded and yelled at and punished for apparent "misdeeds" that are completely...
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General

Falling In Love

Projections are a funny thing. Just like we project those parts of ourselves we don’t like all that much onto others (as I described in a previous post), we project the good parts as well.

We call it falling in love. When we fall for someone, it’s often not so much about the other person. It’s about ourselves.

We find ourselves irresistibly attracted to character traits of...
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Anxiety and Worry

When To Walk Away

Couples go through ups and downs. And while we bicker and fight, many people think about walking away.

One of my clients has been going through a rough patch in her marriage. She has struggled with depression and anxiety and was laid off from her job. While she was trying to recover, her husband went through a stressful time at his job and ended up having an affair.

The healing was...
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Anxiety and Worry

When You Can’t Stand Someone

Last week Rebecca honed in on what seemed to quickly become her favorite enemy: one of her husband's friends brought out the inner bitch in her.

"He is flaky and unreliable and always needs to be the center of the attention" she said angrily. "I can't stand the guy. I find him appalling."

I've been working with Rebecca in psychotherapy for a while so I had a hunch what this was about. But...
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Anxiety and Worry

Lessons From My Cat

My cat Pepper had a violent encounter the other day.

She is an indoor-outdoor cat. She loves snooping around the yard and preying on birds and squirrels. Once she killed a baby rabbit right in front of our eyes. Pussycat is a predator after all.

But a couple of weeks ago she met her master. The huge red stray that walks around the neighborhood entered her territory and engaged her into a fight. I heard the...
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Anxiety and Worry

How To Fight Your Depression

Sometimes we can fight depression. Sometimes we can’t.

There is a rhythm to every emotion we have. It goes in and out, depending on whom we encounter that day and how our bodies react, and just how much we are in the grip of a sadness that won’t go away.

Depression is a dreary, drab misery that seems to take on...
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