One thought on “Accepting Infertility Gracefully in 2019

  • January 2, 2019 at 4:01 am

    Hi Ivy,
    I can so relate to your words and feelings! I too am a woman of faith. However, for whatever reason, God has chosen to give my siblings children and not me. My siblings (actually, half siblings but I never considered them half–we were raised together by our mother and their father).
    We have all been damaged by our dysfunctional family in varying degrees. Our mom was and is very loving but she worked a lot and I helped care for the younger two. Their dad was verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. With me, he was sexually abusive. He had a bad temper and was often intimidating to say the least.
    Both of my siblings are parents. My sister has a stepdaughter that is around age 27. She has a 24 year old daughter who is herself a mother to a 2 year old, and a 20 year old son who has a 1 year old daughter with his wife. My brother has a 5 year old boy who can’t live with him because my brother is an alcoholic, his house is unheated, disgusting and probably should be condemned! Both siblings adore their kids but are lacking in some areas as parents. I probably would be lacking also because no one is perfect, but I am reasonably sure (and have been told by others) that I would have been a very good parent. I have a “mother’s heart” and have always loved kids.
    I am 57 now. That ship has sailed so to speak–even if I do meet “Mr. Right!” I believe that if I hadn’t been sexually abused for years and not terrified of men (prior to therapy), and if I had been allowed to date, etc. I’d have had a good chance of having a family. However I try not to dwell on that because it only makes me sad and wonder “why me, why wasn’t I good enough?”
    My abuser died almost a year ago (a year as of January 18th) and though I don’t generally wish ill on people or hold grudges, I would like to believe that when he faced his Maker, he had to bear the burden and judgement for THAT too!
    Thanks for sharing your story…


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