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Scapegoating the Sperm Donor (Parental Alienation)

It was always Rhys’ fault. No matter what happened, no matter how good of a father he was, no matter how well he provided for his children, no matter how many years passed since his ex-wife kicked him out of his childrens’ lives, everything was always Rhys’ fault.

In this age of the Women’s Movement and Female Blackouts, some women have reverted to the dark ages. They marry, not for love, but for money. Women who quip to each other, ‘Lay him right the first time, and you can walk over him for years.’ Women who see men simply as sperm donors, not as the fathers of their children. Such are the women who practice Parental Alienation.

Good fathers being alienated from their beloved children is bad enough, but being blamed for everything!? That’s even worse.

Over the past years, I’ve watched this dynamic play out in the lives of my step-children. Rhys five children were very young when his ex-wife divorced him, attempted to take sole custody and violated his visitation rights as a matter of course. Naturally his children have many psychological issues which they express through drug abuse, alcohol abuse, promiscuity, repeated suicide attempts as well as bullying and sexually abusing their youngest brother, Terrwyn, now identifying as the transgender woman, Tarren.

Whatever they did, whatever problem they experienced, it was always Rhys’ fault. Not only was he the sperm donor, he was the perpetual scapegoat. Desperate to maintain her innocent victim faery tale, Rhys’ ex blamed him for everything.

She sued him for divorce to pursue the man with whom she has having an affair, but blamed Rhys for the divorce. She did everything in her power to alienate Rhys from his children, then claimed he had abandoned them. She drove her youngest son to multiple suicide attempts by telling him from a very young age that everyone hated him, then blamed Rhys every time he overdosed. I’m only scratching the surface.

Yet behind the scenes the truth came out. The truth that her new husband was sexually molesting his step-children while their mother psychologically destroyed them.

Too late we discovered this information. Too late to rescue the children and save their developing psyches. But at least we now know the truth. The sperm donor had been made the scapegoat which is the motivation of all those who practice Parental Alienation.

Scapegoating the Sperm Donor (Parental Alienation)

Ivy Blonwyn

Ivy Blonwyn is a Welsh freelance writer and photographer. She and her husband have been trying, unsuccessfully, to start a family for several years. Ivy can relate to the pain, confusion, jealousy and sense of injustice that accompanies infertility. But she also knows the pain of being a step-mother to children who’s vindictive birth mother has systematically employed Parental Alienation to distance them from their birth-father, Ivy’s husband, Rhys. Her articles, often illustrated with her photos, are intended to validate and comfort those who suffer from infertility, Parental Alienation and the pain of sexual abuse. She finds solace in indulging her passion for plein air photography during long tramps with her husband through the fields, hills and castles of Cardiff. Follow Ivy on Facebook at or contact her at [email protected]

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APA Reference
Blonwyn, I. (2018). Scapegoating the Sperm Donor (Parental Alienation). Psych Central. Retrieved on August 3, 2020, from


Last updated: 25 Mar 2018
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