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To My Husband’s Ex’s – Thank You for Dumping this Wonderful Man

When Stephanie Monique Solis posted this letter to her husband’s ex’s on Instagram (ambergentile1988), it went viral. Some women loved it, some women hated it. I loved it because it’s so true. Stephanie wrote:

To the women who let him go, Thank you so much. Thank you for walking out of his life or letting him walk out of yours. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love him and do things that would make him happy, to really keep him. Thank you for hurting him.

When I met my husband, Rhys, women had done just about everything a woman can do to hurt a man. As a tiny child, he was repeatedly raped by his aunt. Neglected by his mother. Whipped, beaten and accused of every crime under the sun by his paedophile step-father. Wrongfully incarcerated by a ‘friend’. Cheated on, dumped, taken back, cheated on again, implicated in a crime he never did and finally dumped by his (now ex) wife. Had his debt run up and his accounts drained by her. Alienated from his five children by her. Lied about, accused, maligned, defamed, sued, cheated, stolen from, used, abused, dumped, driven to the brink of suicide. That was my Rhys.

Society usually assumes men are the abusers, but let me tell you, women are abusers too! They’re just more subtle, more cunning, more manipulative in their abuses. Just because a man is divorced-with-kids, doesn’t automatically mean he’s a deadbeat dad, no matter what his ex says. For too long, men have had no one to stand up for them in society. Yes, there are horribly abusive men, but what about the horribly abusive women who drive good men unmercifully, use them as sperm donors, have children only for the child maintenance funds and then kick the man to the curb while fabricating the most evil lies to make his children hate him. What about those women!?

Men born and raised in dysfunctional, abusive homes are likely to pick abusive, dysfunctional partners. Rhys did that. He fell for any woman who was nice to him because niceness had been so rare in his life. Unfortunately, it was the faux niceness, the temporary charm of gold-diggers and rinsers. Stephanie’s letter goes on:

If not, he wouldn’t have learned what something as valuable as we have looks and feels like. I will do all the things you failed to do for him, like be there for him, prioritize him, not make him feel like he is just an option, Give him time and affection even when he is not asking for it. I will take care of the man you failed to appreciate. I will love the man you took for granted. I will do anything to keep him and make him happy. I will love him for all that he is, and will support him in anything that he wants to do.

All the poems and love songs in the world miss the point. Love isn’t all roses and pink hearts. True love is fierce! Ladies, love your man fiercely. You may the only person in the whole world who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that your husband is a good man. Hold on to that belief!

The whole world may be convinced he’s a lying, cheating sack o’ shit. But you know better because you recognize how disturbed and personality disordered everyone who ever accused him is themselves. How hateful and vindictive his ex is because she knows what a horrible thing she did to your good man and her conscience is killing her. She knows she fucked up and her attacks on your man are just an expression of her hatred for herself and her jealousy of the happiness you have found together.

Love him fiercely through all the attacks.

When the whole world attacks, fight for him. His ex and his alienated children will be taken aback. In the past, he had no one in his corner, no one who had his back. Now, he has you. With you on his side, they’ll think twice. They’ll get tired of losing. Tired of being ignored. Tired of yanking your chain only to get no response.

Stephanie’s letter goes on:

I will be the partner you failed to become for him. I will be the woman who will never make the same mistakes that you did. I will never let him go. I will love him to the moon and back, like a circle never ending, for eternity and beyond even that, I will always have his back no matter what the cost. So thank you for not doing any of that and letting him go, Because I am the one he was meant to be with and I love him so….soulmate, life partners,and best friends, If you love your man repost this with a picture. ♥♥

Thank you, Rhys’ Ex. Thank you for being the most evil woman it has ever been my misfortune to meet. I had never met anyone quite like you. You actually scared me when we met, before I knew what you’d done to my man. Your evil shines in your coal-black eyes; eyes unlike any eyes I have ever seen before or since. They weren’t always black, I’m told. But now they are. Even in bright sunlight the darkness in your soul shines through your eyes.

Next to you, I come out smelling like a rose. Even on my cranky days, Rhys thinks I’m an angel. And God knows I try to be just that. All I know is, I love him because he is imminently lovable. I care for him, work for him, fight for him. You never did.

You had a good man there, Rhys’ Ex. The best! But you couldn’t appreciate the fine wine that is Rhys. Instead, you wanted muddy swamp water. You kicked my good man to the curb to pursue the lowest creep, deep in crime, with a woman and kid in every port because that is your level. You had to share him with other women, submit to perverted sexual acts and attempt suicide, but you finally got your creep to the altar. Water, I’m told, will always find its own level.

Are you happy? Cause I am!

Your life, Rhys’ Ex, is a catalogue of evil, abuse and cruelty. But you did one good thing and for that I’m deeply grateful: you dumped my good man. Thank you!

Photo by brieuc_s

To My Husband’s Ex’s – Thank You for Dumping this Wonderful Man

Ivy Blonwyn

Ivy Blonwyn is a Welsh freelance writer and photographer. She and her husband have been trying, unsuccessfully, to start a family for several years. Ivy can relate to the pain, confusion, jealousy and sense of injustice that accompanies infertility. But she also knows the pain of being a step-mother to children who’s vindictive birth mother has systematically employed Parental Alienation to distance them from their birth-father, Ivy’s husband, Rhys. Her articles, often illustrated with her photos, are intended to validate and comfort those who suffer from infertility, Parental Alienation and the pain of sexual abuse. She finds solace in indulging her passion for plein air photography during long tramps with her husband through the fields, hills and castles of Cardiff. Follow Ivy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fullheartemptyarms or contact her at [email protected]


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APA Reference
Blonwyn, I. (2017). To My Husband’s Ex’s – Thank You for Dumping this Wonderful Man. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 16, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/full-heart/2017/12/to-my-husbands-exs-thank-you-for-dumping-this-wonderful-man/

 

Last updated: 28 Dec 2017
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Dec 2017
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.