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Alienated Children

So Long, Farewell and Amen!

It is unfortunate that this final blog posting for Full Heart, Empty Arms should end on such a sad note. But the suicide of rape survivor Daisy Coleman on August 4th, 2020 ties together the two subjects that have given me the passion to write Full Heart since 2017: abuse and infertility. I only hope that I've been able to reach many people with messages of hope in a way no one was able to reach Daisy.



Adrenaline

When Freaking Out Becomes a Habit

Last week, I did the weirdest thing. I freaked out about the most insignificant problem and I just couldn't stop!

Even in the midst of my panic, intellectually I knew that things weren't that bad. That my response was over-the-top and frankly ridiculous. But I couldn't stop. That's when I realised that freaking out has become a habit for me.



Child

Hypocrisy: Oh no, I’ll Never Understand

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, 'The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function'. While I might take exception to his choice of the word 'intelligence', he was certainly correct. Human beings have an incredible ability to function while committing the very heinous acts they loudly decry. Somehow, we can be incredibly hypocritical without bursting into flame or something of the like.

As I've listened to your stories of mind-blowing abuse, one story worse than the last, the hypocrisies of the human race have reached the boiling point in my mind. This blog posting is a letting off of steam.


Alcohol

He Thought Everyone Was a Nasty Piece of Work but They Were Merely Reacting to His Nastiness

Last week, Rhys and I joined an old Army mate of Rhys', we'll call him Bob, for a pint at our favourite pub. The haddock was superb. The company, ahem, not so much. By the end of the evening, Bob was loudly informing the entire pub that everyone he'd ever met, 'present company not excepted', were 'arseholes'.

But he forgot to peer in the looking glass. If he had, he would've met the reason people treat him brusquely: himself. Bob teaches everyone to treat him disrespectfully by treating them badly. They're only reacting.



Aspergers

Monologuing May Feel Like Brainwashing

Do you remember LP records? Ah, those were the good old days. You gently lowered the needle onto the vinyl and went about your business while the record played for 30-50 minutes by itself without any further action from you.

Sometimes people who like to hear themselves talk seem like LPs.  Mention one of their favourite topics and you've put their needle in the groove. There is no off switch. Their LP on that topic will play in its entirety, even if you've already heard it hundreds of times. I've noticed that those with Aspergers tend to be a bit like this.



Accessible

‘We’ll Always Have Paris’: Taking Momentary Mental Vacations in Stressful Times

Recently, France24 reported the Louvre planned changes to shed their 'elitism'. Jumping to conclusions merely from the headline, I feared the most memorable part of our Paris honeymoon was going to be destroyed. Perhaps some moulding smashed while dust gathered on the Mona Lisa. The gilt removed from the Louvre and from our fond memories.

For me, Paris has always been where the grass is greener. The colours more vivid. The music more beautiful. The food more delicious. 'We'll always have Paris' is a favourite quote from Casablanca that Rhys and I say to each other when day-to-day life here in Cardiff grows grim.



Alienated Children

Parental Alienation: Loving Fathers Relegated to Just ‘Sperm Donors’

Father's Day is one of the saddest days in the year for the Blonwyn family. Like so many other loving fathers, Rhys' ex-wife thwarted his every attempt to be a loving and involved father from the moment his children were born.

Although reunited with his now grown children last year, it didn't go as he hoped. So Rhys copes with Father's Day with his usual humour, wagering which children will bother to wish him a 'Happy Father's Day'. This year he nailed it: only three of his five children remembered their 'Sperm Donor' on Father's Day.