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Life Ain’t Fair

“Some folks are born silver spoon in hand, Lord, don’t they help themselves, oh. It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain’t no fortunate one, no,” John C Fogerty

I am reminded of the basic truth that life ain’t fair. 

car accident photoI have a friend who comes and watches my wife with dementia. On such occasions, I am free to do things like food shopping and other errands. I even get a couple of hours to relax. My friend knew of a young man who got in an accident on the highway. It is a highway that I traveled on thousands of times without incident. The poor young man was a victim of a driver who was under the influence. After being in an induced coma they pulled the plug. Tragically the young man died.

The young man had his whole life ahead of him. He was enrolled in college. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was plain and simple a victim, in the wrong place in the wrong time. It is a tragedy. Why did it have to be this young person to die?

The whole idea of the Puritan health and wealth gospel is a lie which violates scripture. The idea that if you are rich and prosperous it is because your life pleases God. In John chapter 15 God talks about the vine bearing fruit is purged. Here is the idea. The world is a vineyard and the purpose of the vineyard is of course to bear fruit. So in the garden, there is an exceptional vine which produces abundant fruit. So what does the gardener do? He cuts the vine. This only makes sense if you understand gardening. In the short run, the vine is ruined. But in the long run, the purging produces more fruit. So a person could be do everything right and be chastised by God. In fact, God compares suffering to instruction. We learn our best lesson going through our worst times. Rich people, especially those born into money usually turn out to be terrible human beings, spoiled.

Personally going from having a mental illness and then having a wife with dementia I guess it is fair to say I have seen my fair share of the blues. I am fully aware that every single person on planet Earth goes through suffering. Our problems are vastly different but still, they exist. Some people wonder if they will have food or water for the day while others are going to court because they bribed to get their children into some elite college.

But what can I say to the parents of this deceased young man? That God has a purpose and plan? I would never dare to be so insensitive and condescending. I am quite sure that God has a plan but that plan comes along with a tremendous amount of pain and suffering. Furthermore, it seems that the worst among us have the least amount of problems, but that is a lie. Material possessions, fame, and success do not make people happy. If such was the truth then these people wouldn’t be constantly be getting divorced, going into rehab and breaking the law.

It always amazes me when some rich person is found guilty of stealing. White collar crime is seventy-five percent of all crime in the United States while it makes only twenty-five percent of the prison population. And if a rich person goes to jail the jail is luxurious. A poor person will get thirty years for robbing a liquor store and a rich person will embezzle millions and only get a few years. Life ain’t fair.

In the big picture if one believes in heaven and hell as Christianity teaches all will be rectified on Judgment Day. Those God who has chosen will go to the glory of heaven while those who rejected Him will go to Hell. Small comfort for the child starving to death. Another way to look at things is that everything is a blessing and we must put things in the proper context. Thus we should not look at the person who cannot walk with pity but rather celebrate all the experiences of life he can participate in, that he can see and taste food and all other experiences he can partake in.

So life goes on, that is something we cannot stop. The mourning parents, family, and friends will bury their child. I am sure somebody will say some comforting words. Meanwhile, the innocent young man is out of this world and his killer sits in jail alive.

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Life Ain’t Fair

John Kaniecki

John Kaniecki is a full-time caregiver for his wife Sylvia. He is a published writer and works with the Church of Christ. John has lived with bipolar for over thirty years and has been hospitalized nine times, three of which were committed. John has chronicled his life story in his memoirs "More Than The Madness". Also of note is John's book of poetry "Murmurings Of A Mad Man" which are poems written about being committed in Graystone Psychiatric Hospital. John believes in the power of words to change the world for the better. His website can be seen here. His books can be seen on Amazon. You can visit his personal blog "Turn A Page Or Two" here.

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APA Reference
Kaniecki, J. (2019). Life Ain’t Fair. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 22, 2020, from


Last updated: 25 Mar 2019
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