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The Shame Of Losing

“We are the champions, my friends, And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end, We are the champions, We are the champions, No time for losers, ‘Cause we are the champions of the world” Freddie Mercury

What defines a winner and a loser? Is it the bottom line score. Is it which flag hangs over the battlefield as the dust settles down? 

loser photoTom Brady may have won the Super Bowl but in my book, he is a loser. He deflated the footballs giving himself an unfair advantage. If I understand the story correctly that he smashed his phone so no record of his dark moves could be detected. I really don’t know how with all his cheating he can take pleasure in his ‘victory’.

When I went to high school a lot of my peers cheated on the tests. I only cheated once and that was because somebody grabbed the history final off of the teacher’s desk. The thief gave everybody in the class the exam. I wonder if the teacher didn’t allow his test to be taken on purpose. After all, a class doing well on the final exam proves that he is a good teacher.

In college, I never cheated but I must say that I did hand in computer programs I didn’t write, so technically I did cheat. I went to an engineering school where we had to write a statement saying that on our honor we neither gave nor received aid on the test. Cheating was rampant. We had an honor board elected by the students to police the whole system. I knew a member of the honor board and, yes, he too cheated on the tests.

In reflection, I understand why we had to sign the tests pledging our honor we didn’t cheat. In the big scheme of society the slave masters don’t want their engineers to be ethical. We never had a class in ethics. I mean if the engineers stopped to think what their nefarious inventions did they wouldn’t build them for the military. Instead, engineering is not in real life but in a realm of numbers and equations alone. Engineers see the trajectory of the bomb and the size of the explosion but not the mangled bodies which is the end product.

I recall one time I was surveying on the New Jersey Turnpike right by where all the oil refineries are. Another engineer from my company was doing a boring. First of all, we shouldn’t have been there. It was extremely dangerous but the boss sitting in his comfortable office didn’t care. While we were surveying the engineer found sludge or contaminated soil. What he should have done was report it to the EPA. What he did was throw it back in the hole. Also, if I recall correctly the State Police came by and told us to stop surveying, as it was too dangerous and illegal.

I once asked the same engineer what were you supposed to do if you found bones while drilling borings in the ground. It was a playful question. His answer was very serious, “You hide them and keep on drilling.” Finding human remains would slow down a project and you can’t have that in a society ‘where time is money’ and ‘money is god.’

I firmly believe that the ultimate accomplishment on planet Earth is measured by how you treat your fellow human beings. That money, knowledge, or any other criteria pales severely. After all what profit you to gain the whole world and lose your very soul? So every day I set my target on being perfect, following in the steps of Jesus Christ. Every day I fail. Sometimes I do better than others, but I have never had a perfect day, or for that matter, even come close. You see to be perfect one must be perfect both in actions and in the mind. Just to think ill of somebody is falling short.

But there is no shame in losing if you have tried your best. Unlike deflating footballs in the Super Bowl you cannot get around an all-knowing God.

I recall a person I used to tutor in the math lab in county college. He was a very nice person. Unfortunately, as a child, his brain was denied oxygen at birth so he experienced brain damage. He was physically very frail and had limited intellectual ability. But I saw in his kind heart something to be praised and emulated. I contrast this to the world of business where all sorts of blasphemes and atrocities are common practice.

Perhaps there is a shame in losing but in order to understand that we must understand what winning really is. I defy the materialistic, self-centered doctrine that prevails. Up is down and the top is the bottom. Give me a kind heart and take your material wealth to the Hell you worked so hard to attain and in truth rightfully deserve.

Please check out the first book I ever got published called “Murmurings Of A Mad Man.” It is a book that will challenge and inspire all written in rhythm and rhyme. It is now self-published and available with a new cover and lower price.

Photos by m01229,

The Shame Of Losing

John Kaniecki

John Kaniecki is a full-time caregiver for his wife Sylvia. He is a published writer and works with the Church of Christ. John has lived with bipolar for over thirty years and has been hospitalized nine times, three of which were committed. John has chronicled his life story in his memoirs "More Than The Madness". Also of note is John's book of poetry "Murmurings Of A Mad Man" which are poems written about being committed in Graystone Psychiatric Hospital. John believes in the power of words to change the world for the better. His website can be seen here. His books can be seen on Amazon. You can visit his personal blog "Turn A Page Or Two" here.

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APA Reference
Kaniecki, J. (2018). The Shame Of Losing. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 16, 2019, from


Last updated: 4 Sep 2018
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