“Here comes the jesters, one, two three, It’s all part of my fantasy, Its all part of my rock ‘n roll fantasy, Its all part of my rock ‘n roll dream” Paul Rodgers
“Dear Mister Fantasy play us a tune, Something to make us all happy, Do anything take us out of this gloom” Steve Winwood / Chris Wood / Jim Capaldi
As I listen to my favorite Facebook show I am typing these words. Today I am talking about my dream or fantasy.
Despite this being my fantasy it is both very practical and detailed. My dreams are not some ambiguous flight of fancy but a reality I am working very hard to attain. In fact, writing for this blog is all part of the big picture.
Having a mental illness is a very trying state to be in. For one thing, I am a slave to my pills. Experience has taught me quite harshly that if I stop taking my medicine that I will wind up in the psychiatric hospital. In fact, I’ll probably get in some measure of trouble for my efforts. Presently, my wife Sylvia is very sick with dementia and I need to give her care around the clock. So I can only leave my house when I have a friend to come over and watch her. Needless to say, I cannot work a regular job.
For employment, I need either to find a job that pays exceptionally well enough that I can hire a private home health aide for the time or to work at home. From time to time I see such opportunities but they haven’t worked out. But there is, of course, my dream, which is making a living at writing.
I understand that the odds of being successful as a writer are great against my success. Winning the lottery has a comparable probability. But I was never one to let reality dictate to my life. Even as a child it seemed that I was always on the outside. I was never what one could be called normal. Unfortunately, I was one that bit into the indoctrination and when I learned that so much of what I was taught as truth was a lie, it hurt vastly. In fact, it greatly attributed to my mental illness.
When I was twenty years old I hitchhiked across the United States. I have chronicled some of my stories in my memoirs “More Than The Madness.” I had a general philosophy when hitchhiking and that was I always sought to walk on ahead. Whenever I came to an intersection I felt I accomplished something. The reason was that all the cars that entered the thoroughfare from the newly reached intersection would become a potential ride.
I fell the same thing with my writing. With every book put out, or poem published, or blog posted I feel that I have reached yet another intersection. It is my dream that somebody will look at my writing and find merit. Hopefully, I will garner enough interest where I can support my wife and myself off of the writing. More than that I hope to do a lot of good for other through financial abundance.
If I didn’t have my wife to care for I would most likely be working a regular job. I may have taken the task of working as a minister at a church as well. But God has clearly put certain circumstances in my life. By my writing, I am trying to handle a very difficult situation in the most positive way possible. I would never have had the courage to quit my job and to invest so much time into my writing. So I count my wife’s illness as a blessing. Even if I fail in my literary efforts I will still be grateful that I had the opportunity to chase my dreams.
So here I am getting into the ring and giving it one more shot. I have been on this writing thing, on and off, for thirty years giving it my best shot. I’d like to invite you to read one of my best works. It is my science fiction book called “I Should Have Been A Rock Star”. It has a universal appeal to it beyond the genre. https://amzn.to/2PpKcp1