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Off To The Races

“For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside, That it ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive, I wanna find one face that ain’t looking through me, I wanna find one place, I wanna spit in the face of these, Badlands…” Bruce Springsteen 

You can chase the dragon. Sometimes the dragon runs to give you an illusion of control. Sometimes the dragon runs in terror. 

blue skies photoOptimism. When there is a light at the end of the tunnel, well then there is hope. Of course, even when all is black there is also hope. But when you can see the solution to your problem on the horizon it is a powerful incentive.

Every morning is a struggle to get up for me. I have a long series of tasks I must do. My wife Sylvia is ill with dementia. So every morning I need to take care of her. She can barely walk so I half carry her to the shower. After bathing, I need to fix the bid, do the laundry, give her her medicine and then feed her. In truth, the only bad parts are when she had a bowel movement and getting her in and out of the shower. My back sometimes hurts in an unnatural way.

Taking care of Sylvia is really a labor of love. She treated me very good in our marriage and she was supportive of me when I wasn’t doing so well. I intend to keep my wedding vows. The Bible tells us to carry our cross daily. Every day is another ticking of the clock where the finances get depleted more and more. I cannot work because the money I earned would go to paying somebody to take care of her. So I do my best to write.

I have written a great deal. I have over a dozen books out some published by small publishers and some self-published. Unfortunately, the books are not selling. In all honesty, I do not think that I am failing because I am a bad writer, I know that my marketing isn’t effective. I can accept failure if I am a bad writer. But it is a hard thing to fail because of marketing. That is my reality.

I am constantly trying to promote my books with all sorts of methods. You’ll see one of my works with a link at the bottom of this email. It is my hope that somebody with influence will get a  hand on one of my books and read it. Then they will say “Why that’s brilliant!” and give me one grand endorsement. Being realistic I know that is more fantasy than a dream and I have the same chances for that to happen as winning the lottery.

On one of my efforts, I posted a song lyric on somebody’s music page. The person replied to me asking why I posted the song lyric. I replied that I was looking for people to collaborate with. The person said that he was interested. Well, time passed and eventually, he asked me to try to put some lyrics to a musical album that he did. I quickly did three lyrics and he was impressed. Now he wants me to do lyrics for the whole album. If things work out right he will re-release the album with my the songs adapted to my lyrics.

I know it is a very small thing but it brings me hope. I have more material sitting unseen on my computer than I have out. I see my creative life as a group of logs sitting stagnant in a river. What is the sense of cutting down more trees when the logs are just going to sit still doing nothing? No, I want a river of fury pushing them logs downstream.

Nothing motivates a person like success. It does not matter whatever the field, good things bring hope. If you know that the harvest awaits you will work hard in plowing, watering, and weeding. In the end, the hard work is essential.

So here I am off to the races. I know that the work I am going to do today won’t be for some abstract future of ‘someday.’ But rather the lyrics will be incorporated into a concrete project which barring unforeseen circumstances will manifest itself into something tangible.

If you want to check out my song lyrics here is my book “Without The Music.” It is the best of my material from over thirty years of writing. If you are a musician I am sure you will find something in the book to collaborate with. https://amzn.to/2MQoyZu

Lady Lace

Nine inch heel of titanium steel
Go take a pinch she’s got em firm and real
Her name is Lady Lace from outer space
She’s the glory of God mercy and grace

Can we get away
Can we really leave
I heard Lady Lace say
I’m trying to believe
I’m trying to believe

Hell is a season hell is a place
Hell is a fire consuming Lady Lace
You can run you can hide and you can stay
Cashing in on the sin come pay to play

Can we get away
Can we really leave
I heard Lady Lace say
I’m trying to believe
I’m trying to believe

And yes all systems go
Always too fast always too slow
Fires aflame burning shame
A tricky, tricky game
Hello John welcome in
Come consume your share of sin

Love is a world a distant galaxy
Oh Lady Lace you mean the all to me
Heaven beckons mocking inside the call
Shooting up to rise and then the skies to fall

Can we get away
Can we really leave
I heard Lady Lace say
I’m trying to believe
I’m trying to believe

Off To The Races

John Kaniecki

John Kaniecki is a full-time caregiver for his wife Sylvia. He is a published writer and works with the Church of Christ. John has lived with bipolar for over thirty years and has been hospitalized nine times, three of which were committed. John has chronicled his life story in his memoirs "More Than The Madness". Also of note is John's book of poetry "Murmurings Of A Mad Man" which are poems written about being committed in Graystone Psychiatric Hospital. John believes in the power of words to change the world for the better. His website can be seen here. His books can be seen on Amazon. You can visit his personal blog "Turn A Page Or Two" here.


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APA Reference
Kaniecki, J. (2018). Off To The Races. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 20, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/fragments/2018/09/off-to-the-races/

 

Last updated: 24 Sep 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 24 Sep 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.