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Making Mistakes Work For You

“What have I got to do to make you love me, What have I got to do to make you care, What do I do when lightning strikes me, And I wake to find that you’re not there?”  Elton John /Bernie Taupin

Have you ever wished that you could go back in time and change something that you did? 

car accident photoOne of the hardest questions in life is ‘What could have been?’  Whether it is a career choice, or losing a lover, or even a business decision we sometimes wonder what would have been if I had taken a different route. I had a friend named JJ who I worked with in a bookstore. We handed the correct books for the students. JJ was a professional musician of some note. He told me he wondered what would have happened if he had gone to the prestigious Berklee School of Music. When I pointed out that if he did he never would have met his wife, things seemed easier to accept.

That’s what it is in life if you change one thing then everything would change. I often think now that I wish I had never studied the sciences so hard. That I would have devoted my early life to studies of art, music, and literature. But the road I took brought me to Christianity and to me a relationship with God is the ultimate accomplishment. After all ‘what profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his very soul?’

How many times I wished that I had never become mentally ill. But once again if I never suffered through that hell I would be far less a person than what I am now.

The key to making mistakes is first not to wallow in pity. The past is the past and we cannot change it no matter how horrendous it is. One must make an honest assessment of where they have been. What they feel like their successes are and what they feel their failures are. One must have some idea of where they want to go in life as well. A person choosing a family life may sacrifice a very prestigious career. On the other hand, somebody going to the top may neglect their family. Not passing judgment one must choose what they want in life.

I make mistakes all the time but if I learn from them I don’t feel so bad.  For example, in publishing, I recently published a book. I didn’t understand why the minimum price was so high. I went on and published the book with a high cost. Later I learned that if I had chosen different channels the price could have been significantly lowered. I changed the channels and adjusted the price. Unfortunately, I had done quite a bit of advertising for the book. Am I upset over what happened? I am not happy but I know how to handle the situation correctly in the future.

The principles of this simple example can be applied to life. Maybe you have a friend who only comes by when they are in need. Or maybe you are surrounded by toxic people. Or perhaps you indulge in drugs and alcohol. Maybe your life is aching and empty because you lack spirituality. Whatever the situation you can change.

Major changes in life take much effort. New habits are hard to develop and old ones are hard to lose. Here is where mistakes can fuel you onward to greater heights. If, when tempted to go back to your old ways you recall the pain of your errors, there is a great motivating force developed. Embrace the agony to empower you to rise to new heights.

Finally, a word to the foolish because the wise should know this already. There is no shame in getting help from somebody else. That is the whole purpose of society, that we share our strengths and assist others in our weaknesses. The shoulder that you lean on today may lean on you tomorrow.

Today is the first day of a new tomorrow. You can change your life if you really want to. You don’t control your future but you can have a great impact on it.

Here is that book I overpriced! Now it’s about two thirds the price. It took me thirty years to write these copyrighted song lyrics. Whether you are a lover of great writing or a composer/musician looking for lyrics this book is a must!  https://amzn.to/2vHOSO4

 

Flowers Gotta Grow

Long ago I didn’t know
All the day they’d laugh away
Here em say flowers gotta grow
And tomorrows a new day

Love was in my mind
All I wanted to find
Someone gentle someone kind
Love was in my mind

Underage dressing old
Never doing what I’m told
Mascara, lipstick ruby red
Fighting everything mother said

Love was in my mind
All I wanted to find
Someone gentle someone kind
Love was in my mind

And now I hold my baby in my hand
I see through momma’s eyes to understand
I thought Love was just boy meets girl
Love is everything good in this world

Kisses sweet I want more
He says yes I’m not sure
Little buzzed it’s late at night
I gave in without a fight

Love was in my mind
All I wanted to find
Someone gentle someone kind
Love was in my mind

Long ago I didn’t know
All the day they’d laugh away
Here them say flowers gotta grow
I should have listened I’d be okay
So much of life I did not know
Flowers gotta grow

Making Mistakes Work For You

John Kaniecki

John Kaniecki is a full-time caregiver for his wife Sylvia. He is a published writer and works with the Church of Christ. John has lived with bipolar for over thirty years and has been hospitalized nine times, three of which were committed. John has chronicled his life story in his memoirs "More Than The Madness". Also of note is John's book of poetry "Murmurings Of A Mad Man" which are poems written about being committed in Graystone Psychiatric Hospital. John believes in the power of words to change the world for the better. His website can be seen here. His books can be seen on Amazon. You can visit his personal blog "Turn A Page Or Two" here.


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APA Reference
Kaniecki, J. (2018). Making Mistakes Work For You. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 15, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/fragments/2018/08/making-mistakes-work-for-you/

 

Last updated: 5 Aug 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 5 Aug 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.