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Learning To Love

” Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” God 

“I’m learning to fly, but I ain’t got wings, Coming down is the hardest thing” Tom Petty / Jeff Lynne

“Love is something babies can do but the most ancient man cannot master” FeatherLeaf 

Holding hands photoWhat is Love? You might as well what is the purpose of life? Love is a spiritual aspect that is always nurturing in a sacrificial context. Love is treating everybody right.

I didn’t come up in the best circumstance. Then again I didn’t come up in the worst. But one thing I am certain is that I was immersed in an environment of hate, at least to a certain extent. I have chronicled some of my experiences in my memoirs “More Than The Madness”. All in all, it would seem like I was off to a bad start. But in truth, I was learning very valuable lessons that would later help me in life.

You see Love has that remarkable quality of using anything and everything to help you. When I was hated and hated others I learned the bitterness of the path. I knew I wanted something better. My tumultuous upbringing pointed toward anything but what I experienced.

Love is treating others right. We can begin with the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself”. Let me take this one step further, on any person’s list of important people ‘self’ always ranks number one if not at the very top. Human beings just can’t help, it is just part of the nature of what we are. After all, we spend one hundred percent of our time on planet Earth with self. Everybody wants to be treated right, it is important that you do so.

If you learn what you appreciate in others you will learn how to treat others. One time in church if met somebody at Bible study. Then next Sunday I introduced myself to her again. Boy, she was furious with me. I learned a valuable lesson about remembering people’s names. I like it when people remember my name. This brings me to another point and that is we are all on a learning curve. My church at that time had nearly four hundred members and being located in Manhattan we got lots of visitors. It was hard to tell members from non-members. Add the fact that many members did attend regularly it was a simple thing to forget somebody. So I learned not to introduce myself but rather learn names by observation.

An important part of loving others is being confident in your own self-worth. First of all, if you are confident in yourself you won’t be putting others down. Hatred, bullying, mockery and that ilk have no part in Love. Secondly, if you think well of yourself you can believe that others will be interested in you. It is a great big world and without doubt, you will find those who are more than happy to put you down. On the other hand, you will find those that you can connect to. If you are wise, you will move away from the negativity and embrace those that embrace you. People who put you down aren’t worth the space in your mind they occupy. I am by no means saying that you treat them bad, but one doesn’t cast their pearls before swine.

Love is in the action. It goes well beyond the personal and into the universal. If one only loves those who love them than it really isn’t love at all. Giving is a key factor in love. Giving of time, giving of respect, giving of self, giving of material goods, all those things are tangible demonstrations of love. Thoughts and prayers, by themselves, are totally useless, if it is in your power to do something. I have a ‘brother’ in the church who lives in my town. I told him about my wife’s condition, that she is bedridden. When I mentioned that he could visit he promptly told me that he didn’t have time, but I would be in his thoughts and prayers. To me, his thoughts and prayers are totally useless if he can’t spend ten minutes of his precious time to see my sick wife.

Above all people want to be accepted. We all wanted to be treated with the dignity that is the right of every human being.

Please check out my book “More Than The Madness” This book chronicles my journey in life and my successful battle with bipolar. It is a strong witness against the stigma associated with mental illness and is a great educational tool.

Learning To Love

John Kaniecki

John Kaniecki is a full-time caregiver for his wife Sylvia. He is a published writer and works with the Church of Christ. John has lived with bipolar for over thirty years and has been hospitalized nine times, three of which were committed. John has chronicled his life story in his memoirs "More Than The Madness". Also of note is John's book of poetry "Murmurings Of A Mad Man" which are poems written about being committed in Graystone Psychiatric Hospital. John believes in the power of words to change the world for the better. His website can be seen here. His books can be seen on Amazon. You can visit his personal blog "Turn A Page Or Two" here.

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APA Reference
Kaniecki, J. (2018). Learning To Love. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 21, 2019, from


Last updated: 10 May 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 10 May 2018
Published on All rights reserved.