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Happiness- What and How

‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” God 

What exactly is happiness? And then once that is defined the question is what brings happiness?

smile photoHappiness is a state of contentment or bliss. It is feeling good about life and one’s position in life. More than that we can identify happiness by various traits be possess.

Rule number one, if a person needs chemicals, such as alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, speed, hallucinogenics they are not happy. On the outside, it might seem that they are having a good time. But I guarantee you that on the inside they are miserable. The sole fact that they are craving something artificial to bring them to an altered state of being is ample evidence enough. The use of chemicals proves that they are not happy.

Human beings are creatures of ego, and thus they aren’t honest. People want other people to think they are happy in the same way people want other people to like them. To be perceived as being happy is a natural thing. Therefore people using drugs and alcohol put on an act. Sure they may laugh a lot but when the high is gone they return to their miserable selves. I have been on the inside of this group and I can speak from personal experience. Drugs and alcohol are a dead end. Drugs and alcohol are a harsh master after the initial thrill is gone one becomes a slave.

Material possessions will not make people happy. There was a poll taken and it asked how much money would you need to be happy. The results were that the number was always above the income of the person reporting. So for those making fifty thousand, they said they need a hundred thousand. Those making a million needed a million and five hundred thousand. The thing of it was nobody was satisfied with what they had, they all wanted more.

A key to finding a happy person is in how they treat others. A happy person doesn’t need to impress others or put people down. But materialistic people are always doing this. The whole concept of style is a trap. People pay exorbitant amounts of money just so they can have a certain label. They will be fancy clothes and luxury cars that they really can’t afford. All of this is done just to make a favorable impression on others. Materialistic people will espouse hatred and prejudices. If they are rich they disparage the poor.

There is a wealth on Earth that all of humanity should seek. It is treasures that will stay with you forever and that is treating other people with love and kindness. It seems I am doing a lot of reflection on my life. I think on the good things that I did for others and this brings me satisfaction. I think about how I sacrificed for others and I understand that this is how people were meant to live.

Here is the thing, if you run after happiness you will never catch it. Nothing in this carnal world can give it to you. But if you pursue righteousness happiness will become part of your daily life. If you smile, others will smile with you. If you give you will receive.

Perhaps the greatest trick of all is to put away one’s ego and to take an honest survey of self. Everybody has an opinion on matters, whether it be politics, religion, philosophy or whatever. Everybody, in turn, thinks that what they think is the correct path. After all, if a person was a Muslim and they thought Christianity was better they wouldn’t be a Muslim, would they? Or if someone was a Trump supporter they wouldn’t endorse the views of Bernie Sanders. Well herein is the key, to have the wisdom to go beyond the external and to treat the person as a human being, even if that means sacrificing some of what you are, for a time.

There was a woman at church. She was a feisty old lady and very opinionated. I loved her dearly but she was a very cantankerous person. She had a hard time getting along with other members of the congregation because of extreme views she held. To me, it was very easy to get along with her. I simply didn’t try to change her or express my opinion, I merely embraced her as she was. When I announced I was leaving the congregation the woman cried.

Here’s a book of poetry. It is one of my early works and it is definitely a happy book. It is called “A Day’s Weather”. What I do is I go through the weather of a day and write a poem for each condition.  It is a great book for teens.

Photos by Sole Treadmill,

Happiness- What and How

John Kaniecki

John Kaniecki is a full-time caregiver for his wife Sylvia. He is a published writer and works with the Church of Christ. John has lived with bipolar for over thirty years and has been hospitalized nine times, three of which were committed. John has chronicled his life story in his memoirs "More Than The Madness". Also of note is John's book of poetry "Murmurings Of A Mad Man" which are poems written about being committed in Graystone Psychiatric Hospital. John believes in the power of words to change the world for the better. His website can be seen here. His books can be seen on Amazon. You can visit his personal blog "Turn A Page Or Two" here.

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APA Reference
Kaniecki, J. (2018). Happiness- What and How. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 21, 2019, from


Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 8 May 2018
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