“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” God

Sometimes in life your best simply isn’t enough. Companies go bankrupt, people commit suicide, nations lose in war, athletes don’t make the pros, people fail in college. 

Desperation photoI am in a very difficult position as my wife suffers from dementia. At this point she is bedridden though she can walk. I dare not let her walk alone as she would fall down in a matter of minutes if not seconds. Whenever I take her any place I need to bring the wheelchair. There is no family in the area to assist me so the burden falls solely upon me. But still I feel blessed.

There are friends from church who come and stay with Sylvia when I need to do food shopping or do some other task. My neighbors are kind sometimes giving me food or other necessities. It has been over three years since I have worked but yet the savings are holding up for the time being.

So will God deliver me? Yes, absolutely, but not on my terms and conditions. The story of Joseph in the Bible is a very interesting one. Joseph went from being his father’s favorite son to being sold into slavery by his brothers in Egypt. While a slave Joseph did his best and prospered. On a lie Joseph was cast into prison. Stop right there. It is hard to be a good slave and it is hard to get arrested on a lie. Where was God? He was working on Joseph’s character building him up so that one day he would rule Egypt.

So unlike certain frauds on cable television suggest God is not our errand boy. The Almighty does things according to His will and purpose. I am sure while in the dungeon Joseph didn’t understand his suffering but he kept the faith and persevered. We know this because he became a model prisoner trusted by the jailer. There is a lesson here to always do your best.

And that is exactly what I am trying to do, my best. I always had a desire to write and I have done so on and off for most of my adult life. I began by writing poems to my fellow patients in psychiatric hospitals. Now with the time afforded me I have seized the moment and zealously worked on my writing. It is my hope that God will bless me and that I will prosper financially so I don’t face economic ruin. I would never had the courage to quit a regular job and invest so much time in my art.

There is another dimension of my situation to be considered. Sylvia spent her whole life working doing child care or caring for an elderly patient. The Bible clearly says that one will reap what they sow. So I find it unconscionable that in her moment of dire need God will abandon her.

Of course there are those who do not believe and will scoff at this entire article. I guess the proof is this experiment is going to be proven as the clock ticks ahead. God has never failed me yet I have failed him on a daily basis. Still I have never been hungry or homeless and most of the time goods things abounded.

My suffering from a mental illness gives me firsthand insight into the condition that Sylvia has. I have walked a very similar path and I know the ins and outs of the condition.  I can have compassion in the trying moments.

As I said time tells all. Perhaps I will wind up homeless or perhaps I’ll be the greatest poet that ever lived, or maybe both. This I do know is that I am going to work as hard and as diligently as possible to make my dreams come true. I think if I do that I already have the victory.

Here is the first book I got published called “Murmurings Of A Mad Man” http://bit.ly/2EgFDbO