“Life may be a song but I wouldn’t do well if I don’t know the words” FeatherLeaf

My early youth was greatly influenced by my mental illness. It was the defining factor of my life, it was what I was.

As a result of the agonizing all consuming shade I didn’t have much hope for the future. Still I wouldn’t surrender on life. If I couldn’t get a job or go back to school I certainly could give writing a try. I made several attempts at writing books but this proved too difficult for me to overcome. I recall at least three books that I started. In hindsight I would have been better off writing short stories to develop a writing method. I would exactly do that later in life.

But song lyrics were something that I felt I could do. I read several books on the subject and dissected the songs that I liked. In music the thing that mattered the most important to me were in fact the lyrics. I quickly discovered that the people who write the songs that you hear on the radio are geniuses. Writing a hit song or even lyrics is a monumental task. It may seem simple but it is not. The illusion of simplicity and the naturalness is extremely difficult to achieve.

Of course my illness and experiences had a direct effect on my writing. To write outside of my experiences, which I did by the way, would be artificial.

Well I never got far with my lyrics despite the fact that I have hundreds and had them all copyrighted. It seems that it is very hard to get somebody to work with lyrics as everybody wants to write their own stuff.

Any way years later I would hook up on the computer with Ashish Kerjiwal. So far he has taken four of my lyrics and put them to music. One of them is called Mister E which is about a schizophrenic. You can listen to it on the following link, but it is the second of two songs. https://karmicreaction.com/2017/06/17/music-au-de-restaurant-and-mister-e/

Here are the lyrics. I think Ashish did a wonderful job interpreting words on paper!

Mister E

Pain too terrible to bear
Gotta go somewhere
Some place in my mind
Where things are more kind
It’s strange far from real
But it helps the deal

In my agony
In comes Mister E
And I become free
Though I am not me
There is Mister E

I am timid and meek
I get too nervous to speak
Keep to myself I’m shy
Sometimes I wonder why
Why all this dark pain
And voices in my brain

In my agony
In comes Mister E
And I become free
Though I am not me
There is Mister E

My name is Mister E
You better not mess with me
I’m strong at my peak
Better listen when I speak
I won’t turn my cheek
I’ll knock off your head
Kick you when you’re dead
Instant masculinity
We call me Mister E

Call me crazy I’m not sane
But I really can’t complain
Doctor he don’t understand
My life of being damned
Schizophrenia my label
Mister E is strong and able

In my agony
In comes Mister E
And I become free
Though I am not me
There is Mister E

Here is a book of poetry that I wrote in the same time period. https://johnkaniecki.weebly.com/a-days-weather.html


Photos by Abode of Chaos,