74 thoughts on “PMDD – Hard To Endure Harder To Explain

  • July 1, 2009 at 8:44 am

    I have always though of this disease PMDD as a endocrinological disorder especially with PCOS. At any stressful event 3 days I get these symptoms that are horrible, tried Yas and had breakthrough bleeding and it acted as a regular period. I take cymbalta 60mg it helps but the klonopin works even better to calm me when I’m irrtable. even then I want to get ovarian drilling so badly as a quality of life issue. some doctor will do it only for fertility issues and I just to hopefully improve/eliminate my symptoms of PMDD/PCOS. Tried spironolactone it’s okay but it could be better. Can excessive androgens contribute to prehypertension?

    Reply
  • July 1, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Jasmin,

    Perhaps someone here who knows more about your questions and symptoms can answer you. I am not a physician and really don’t know. But if you do get some answers somehow, please let me know so we can share your knowledge. I’m really sorry to hear that you continue to have trouble with your symptoms.

    Thanks for your comments and I sure hope someone writes in who’s had some experience with the issues you brought up.

    Reply
  • July 4, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    My 21 year old daughter suffers terribly from PMDD. We both have known it for years – she had to leave college because of it. She sought counseling and medication and seemed to be making strides. However, now that she is an adult, I cannot make her keep appointments or take the medication, which she claims makes her gain weight. I see her life taking another dive, after she has spent two years putting it back together. What, if anything, can I do to help her? I can no longer make her appointments or call for help now that she is an adult.

    Reply
  • July 5, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Robyn,

    It can be so hard watching a loved one take their situation into their own hands and letting it fall down the tubes. At this point, I would say that you can stay open to her with communication. At some point, if she hits a really low point and wants to get it all back together again, she might come to you. Then you may have more influence with her. Try not to be overbearing with your desire to help. You can’t make her want help, which is sad but true.

    But if you still have some warmth and trust in your relationship and you know you’ve told her your concerns many times, you may not be able to do much else. Offer your support and your listening ear whenever she needs it, but don’t bail her out of her problems. She is an adult and maybe falling all the way to the ground will help her understand how she needs to take care of herself, doing all the things you used to do for her when she was younger.

    I really wish I had a better answer for you. As a counselor, I feel this frustration a lot. The people who seem to end up the best after counseling are those who are most desiring and ready for it. I have wished many times that people I’ve met would become much more committed to getting better.

    I wish you the best, and write back if you need to.

    Reply
  • July 8, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    My husband does not understand my condition. He is mean and calls me names. I know I act crazy and drive him insane but he can’t handle it. He wants to get a divorce now. It makes me feel even worse. He hasn’t been easy to deal with he has had problems and I didn’t quit on us. It is hard to think that being a women is the reason my husband hates me. I feel very sad and alone and not really sure what I should do. There are times when I feel like I want to die but I have kids and love them too much. It’s just very isolating and I feel so alone. I keep telling myself it will pass and I’ll be OK for a while. This month crept up on me and I wasn’t expecting it. If only he wouldn’t fight me if only he would be supportive and loving. If only he actually loved me.

    Reply
  • July 8, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    Shauna,

    Are you doing any counseling, talking to a close friend about this? Are you trying any medical treatment for your symptoms? I really know how that isolation feels, the sadness.

    If you feel like you want to die, absolutely call someone and talk about it right away. Call your local counseling center and see if an on-call therapist is available for a phone call. Or talk to your doctor and see if antidepressants are a good choice for you.

    Even speak to someone at your local psychiatric hospital on the phone, see what they can do to help you get through it (not saying you would be admitted to the hospital, just talking to people who are experts at helping people in crisis) Do something, because suicidal thoughts can be dangerous when you get really emotional. Suicidal thoughts aren’t something to sweep under the rug.

    I don’t know much about your husband or marriage, but getting the right kind of care for you and your syptoms may certainly help somewhat. I really don’t know that PMDD goes away on it’s own, and research is just so new and limited on it.

    I had PMDD after two pregnancies for about a year each time, and the only thing that stopped it was antidepressants when I finally figured out what was happening. I’m not saying that is what you have to do. I’m saying that I could have just gone on and on like that and I don’t know what would have ever made it stop on it’s own, only that I did treatment to make it better.

    If you are already taking some form of treatment, hang in there and keep at it until it’s right. if you aren’t, talk to your doctor or speak to a counselor. I wish you the best dealing with both this and your marriage situation.

    Reply
  • July 9, 2009 at 6:10 am

    Shauna refuses to take advantage of any form of treatment, because then she wouldn’t have this excuse to treat her husband badly. Shauna doesn’t want a husband whose loving and supportive , but rather a whipping boy who she can blame all her misery on. Maybe after ten years of her telling him how he’s the source of all her misery, he’s just gotten tired of it and can’t take anymore. I also like how she claims her husband doesn’t love her. Maybe if she truly loved him she’d think twice and not treat him that way.

    Reply
    • October 23, 2012 at 8:35 pm

      Henry- Are you the husband she is talking about? If not, then why are you here? You can’t possibly understand what a woman goes through with this. If you are her husband, then I would certainly want to divorce YOU.

      Reply
  • July 11, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Is there a treatment that can be done at home? Because my mother does not believe in psychology and she won’t let me take any birth control pill, so I feel I am out of answers or treatment. What can I Do?

    Reply
  • July 12, 2009 at 12:42 am

    I am ashamed to admit that I am glad to hear there are other women that feel as badly as I do during the menstrual cycle. I am 41 yrs old and am an athlete. Exercise has helped alot however injuries have slowed me down alot therefore my symptoms have gotten worse. I have tried diet-medication-I am at a loss really. Im Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. There isn’t really one treatment is there? HELP!

    Reply
  • July 17, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    I have not been diagnosed with this but I believe PMDD is what I suffer from. It’s a horrible medical problem and puts a stop to almost everything I can do for several days. Any home treatments at all? I want to try those before I try medications. I’m scared of taking meds, especially for this condition.

    Reply
  • July 18, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    TJ – My “Guide to PMDD” post lists a few things that may be of help. Actually, if you are going to do just one thing before you try meds, do counseling. There is no particular “home remedy” for PMDD like there can be for regular PMS. PMDD involves clinical depression, which is not just like having the blues adn it’s nothing to mess around with on your own for long. Once it gets its claws into you, I wouldn’t want to see how long it took for the claws to fall out on their own.

    I’m not saying you need to do medication yet if you are unsure. But depression is a bigger beast than just being in a bad mood. You need something more powerful than an herb or meditation. Counseling is interactive and the professional will have particular ways to help. Just the relationship itself is so transforming. Self help books for depression might be OK, but PMDD by nature comes and goes frequently. That adjustment is not the same as something more steady like straight depression.

    Just a thought on meds, though let me remind you, it is fully your choice to take them or not take them. If your doctor recommended medication for a physical ailment, would you be this scared of medication? Just saying that all medications have side effects, they don’t work the same for everyone, and a very few have problems. That is true of any medication including over-the-counter ones. Your best bet – meds in combination with counseling. Some immediate benefit from meds to stabilize you, and counseling to help you adjust further and relearn how to live your life.

    Thanks and best wishes for you.

    Reply
  • August 12, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    Wow Henry…Harsh! A little controlling are we? Did you check your wife’s history to find her contribution to the thread? Shauna is admitting she has a problem and wants your support and help to get through, and not only do you abandon her, but you ridicule her and take it personally. It’s not always about you buddy…support and help your wife!!! She finally figured out what may ne wrong.

    Reply
  • August 19, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    I visited the doc recently because I suspected my hormones were a bit unbalanced, to say the least. I have acne that affects my jawline and chin areas as well as my back and shoulders, SEVERE mood swings 1-2 weeks before my period that cause me to completely lose control of my emotions and I often end up destroying some random piece of furniture and bloodying my knuckles for no apparent reason. I can also go from monster to cry baby in 1 second flat. The doctor gave me a prescription for Yaz. I can’t wait until my period starts so all the madness can finally be over with…… and I can feel like my happy self again.

    Reply
  • August 23, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Henry –
    I don’t know if Shauna is your wife or not – not that it matters. And I am new around here, but I hardly think a comment like yours it what this site had in mind when it was put together. Did you even read what PMDD is? Maybe you should do some reading for yourself before posting such vitriol again. Whomever your wife is, I get the feeling PMDD isn’t her most difficult challenge!

    Reply
    • October 23, 2012 at 8:37 pm

      “Like”

      Reply
  • August 23, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    Shauna,
    Please don’t let the hateful words of Henry affect you. I know what it’s like to have PMDD and feel alone. Please hang in there. Find a counselor. Find time for yourself – you and your kids will reap the benefits of a healthier you.
    Please take care and good luck!

    Reply
  • August 27, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    I have had PMDD for years!! I finally found a doctor who diagnosed me, and put me on 20mg of Prozac a day. I have been taking it for the past 2 years, and it works!!! Just ask my hubby!! LOL All kidding aside, this is a very serious matter, and needs to be handled by a doctor who understands PMDD. Many doctors have no idea what it is yet – especially men doctors (in my experience, anyway)- so beware. Make sure you get someone who knows what it is, and seek some help. It changed my life…. you can have those 2 weeks out of the month BACK!!

    Reply
  • August 27, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    Danielle – Well said! Getting those two weeks back in my life was truly a miracle. Made me appreciate my time a whole lot more after it had been robbed from me for so long. Glad to hear your story turn out well. 🙂

    Reply
  • August 28, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Thanks for your article. I’m glad that someone is trying to get the word out that what I’m feeling is not blowing it out of proportion or that I just need to get a grip on reality. I never had these symptoms until just in the last few years. I am now in my early 40s and the doctor thinks it’s because I am starting the bumpy ride to menopause & my hormones are fluctuating. In the past I had PMS symptoms like weight gain, cravings, irritability, etc…but now, it’s much worse. For the 10 days before my period I am crying alot, feel my entire life is hopeless and going no where, and I want to sleep all the time. I’m getting plenty of sleep, but during that time too much is never enough. I’m taking Yaz and finally now, on the 3rd month, I’m seeing improvement. Thank goodness.

    Reply
  • September 23, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    I have been back with my ex husband for a year,t I have felt closer to him then ever,but now i have noticed a big change and it always happens right before my period.I am very emotional he gets mad at me and says i cry over everything he tells me to just shut up and stop.Now his mom says i am craqzy too when just days ago we where very close.I have two kids and love them very much thougnow with this crap i feel like i just want to die.The last thing i need right now is to be alone because i feel so lonely andscared.I just want to be felt important and loved and seem to push everyone away instead i hate feeling this way its not like me in my heart.I dont want my kids to see me in such bad shape and just dont know what to do.I have been so happy my family was back together and dont want to loose it again.I have a hard time trusting meds because of bad experinces with side effects in the past my family all blames me and dont seem to want to understand what is causing this.i just feel that i am alone in trying to cope with this and know i will be back to normal in a few days though i am afraid one of these months i will let my emotions get the best of me and it will be to late.I go to work every day and funtion though have a very hard time concetrating which i dont know how i am getting through.I have tried counseling and it just seems to be a waist of time.There they said i have situatioanl depression.But i know my main prob.is pmdd.I wanted to get remarried and have another baby but my ex still sees and actually has always called me jekkyl and hide.This month nmy drastic answer is a hysterectomy since i am so hurt he doesnt want a baby and then mayb i wont have to deal with these emotions anymore,though that is not what i really wamt.I wish i coulod take care of this so he might change his mind,some day after all we got along the best each time i was pregnant,but do to finacial reasons my whole family is against that to it makes me feel once again emotional wreck

    Reply
  • October 9, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    Hi,

    Thank you so much for writing about PMDD & taking it seriously. I had PMDD until having a total hysterectomy BSO in February of 2009 at the age of 36. I have been PMDD free ever since and paid a price for that (inability to have another child, bone loss, grief and mourning, whatever the future holds because I don’t have estrogen). When there were no more treatment options I was willing to try, I was given the option to have surgery. Prior to finding a doctor who knew what PMDD was and also, who believed me, I had to deal with the diagnosis of bipolar not other wise specified as I said over and over that something was very wrong and very much connected to my cycle. When I finally began listening to my body and strengthened my self-advocacy skills, refusing to be treated as a person with bi-polar disorder and doing my own research, I was correctly diagnosed with PMDD by my GYN after careful daily documentation of my symptoms. While some women do have underlying/co-exisiting mental illnesses, some don’t. Either way, PMDD shouldn’t be down played because there is also a mental illness, or identified as a mental illness such as bi-polar disorder when it isn’t (this is happening to too many women). Because of my negative experience with health care professionals and uninformed doctors, I moved two years of doctoral work over to a masters program, had the hysterectomy, got a second masters degree in counseling, and established PMDD Hope, so that I could help other women and their families deal with this horrible illness. I think it helps greatly to have as many professionals as possible out there taking it seriously and again, I thank you.

    Jennifer Wells-McCullough, M.A., CRC

    Reply
    • October 25, 2012 at 2:55 am

      I think that is so cool Jennifer that you changed your whole life’s direction in order to help other women with PMDD. Thank you!! I have sufffered with PMDD for 35 yrs. My heart goes out to the women who still don’t know what they have and think they are crazy. Even though there are not complete answers to this terrible illness, it does help to know what it is and that there are different things to try to reduce the symtoms. Again, thanks for deciding to be on the forfront of finding an anwer to this monster.

      Reply
  • October 11, 2009 at 11:41 am

    Roughly 2 weeks before my period, my mood swings are unbearable to even myself.I seem hateful and judgemental of the littlest things. For years now like all my other symtoms I go through every month, I’m unable to simply lay down and sleep at night like a regular person.I rely on otc sleep aids,still I toss and turn before sleeping.I’ve been told by many different doctors (both male and female) that what’s wrong with me is all in my head.I’ve tried numerous advices made to me but to no avail. I’ve tried birth control, doesn’t work.So far everything I’ve read, I’ve tried,changing eating habits, cut caffeine,etc. I’ve been prescribed pain meds, which don’t even touch the pain. The cramps I experience before my period starts feels like child labor all over again. Sorry if I sound like I’m jumping from one thing to the next. If I don’t write or something on my mind I usually forget what it is. My husband is very loving and understanding when I start acting like a “hateful witch” We remodel homes for a living, so far I’ve the last 2 days of work because of the way I feel. Unfortunely he has to cover for me because of the way I feel. Just yesterday I finally was able to get rid of a migraine headache I suffered for 6 to 7 days from. Unlike most of womens’ experiences I’ve read about, I normally don’t get a break every month from my symtoms. I’ll get my period twice a month and suffer the symtoms before each one. Iknow I drive people crazy so I do my best to be quiet when I feel the way I do.Then of course I feel alone.I know something is very wrong with me but can’t seem to find out exactly what it is. I could write a book about the way I feel and still not know whats wrong.I have also tried counseling(many different doctors)with no results.Anybody out there with some more advice I could try.At my wits end.

    Reply
  • October 14, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Updating Re:PMDD/PCOS/Ovarian Cysts

    About two weeks ago I went into the ER twice for abdominal pain at first I thought It was my kidney or ovaries. they checked my kidney and it ok. Went back 5 days later explaining that the pain is spreading right to left of my lower abdomen. the left ovary is 2.5cm cyst on top of the ovary along with multiple cysts. I felt like my ovaries were onfire. ER told to take motrin and had to wait for it to go away they thought that it popped…what a waste of time.

    Now I go to my gyn/endocrinologist with severe pain on both ovaries and pain in my uterus. He told me since I tried spinolactone/yas and other BC’s to no avail..either to inject lupron to stop my cycles and”feel like an old lady” and have my ovaries and uterus removed. I told him I’ll think about it. well I’ve been feeling very depressed and out to see if my uterus is still working (I have irregular periods and wasdue for one..late for 5 days)I took prometrium 2x day for3 days and I felt pain free and in between the time I had some pus smelling discharge but 4th day my “friend-PMDD” came back and have to get a mammo for my left breast…I feel scared.

    Reply
  • October 14, 2009 at 8:02 am

    I feel tired..had this problem for 9 years…

    Reply
  • November 20, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Ladies, I feel ya! My pmdd is absolutely crippling to my emotions…crying, anger, hopelessness, etcetera for ten days before I start. Some advice for explaining it to your man: wait until you are out of the throes of pmdd to talk to him about it…on your good time of the month, educate him, show him articles from reputable sources. Get him to believe you,then AFTER you have educated him, explain how you feel during the “monster stage.” When I explained it to my fiance during the bad part of the month (after educating him,) he started to understand. I told him through tears how when it hits me I feel depressed, negative, hateful of myself and others, and how I sometimes feel like there is no way out except suicide, and that I did not want to die, he really began to understand all that goes through my mind for those ten days before I start. Good luck to all…remember, you are not alone. when you feel alone, remind yourself that millions of others are feeling the same as you at that very same moment…and we understand exactly what you are going through.

    Reply
  • January 4, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    After my son was born, my hormones changed. I never felt the same since. 5 years have passed and the symptoms get worse every year.I get severe cravings for sweets and eat about 2000 calories in one sitting, the crying, uncontrollable moods swings, the irritableness makes me snap at my loved ones then I cry about it. The moods are like pregnancy without the actual pregnancy. This month I felt worse than before ate and cried worse than I have in the past. I went to the GYN for annual pap and to get Yaz.I am glad PMDD is becoming noticed and more women are coming forward to state their affected by this disorder as well. Without women coming forward this disorder would not be a concern. In turn, no treatment or doctors who seriously listen and take in consideration of your symptoms to make a diagnosis. Thank you everyone for coming forward about this disorder

    Reply
 

Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum. Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment. Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *