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Handling Yourself in Difficult School Situations – Part 2

Getting Along With Your School

I had so much to say about this yesterday that I had to continue it on a second post!  Learning to manage our own emotions is a lifelong job.  It’s so easy to get defensive about your kid, so it’s important to take time to absorb all of this information.  If you let your feelings get the best of you sometimes, take heart.  You wouldn’t be the first parent to get reactive.  I just want to make sure you get heard by the school personnel and that you get the best outcome for your child.  Here are two more keys to staying in control and making that happen.

Make Connections – Just because you have a difficult situation with one person at the school doesn’t mean you’ll have trouble forever.  Get familiar with the school secretary, the principal, the librarian, the teacher’s aide, etc.  Find someone you can connect to in a positive way.  If you cannot resolve what has happened with that one person, you can still take something positive from the experience.  And if you are able to patch things up, you will have an even better network than before.

Show Confidence Not Defensiveness – Carry yourself tall when you walk into the building.  Whatever emotion you are feeling, it’s likely to show with your posture and behaviors.  So if you want to feel more confident, walk and stand in a relaxed but strong manner.  Look like you know just what you want to accomplish, even if you are somewhat nervous.  Once you start acting confident, it will probably rub off on your emotions.

Sometimes, despite all of your efforts, you just can’t work out a situation with your school.  At this point, you might find that moving your child to a different school would be in their best interest.  If that is the situation, do your best to keep things cordial while you disconnect from the first school and start with the next.  Try not to burn bridge – you might benefit from some of the connections down the road.

And don’t make this type of move casually.  If you see similar problems arise in the new school, you may need to take a closer look at the big picture.  Without getting too far into that topic, just make sure that moving schools doesn’t become a habit.  Frequent transition can sometimes be harder on kids than the individual incidents.

I hope you don’t think I’m treating all you parents like you don’t have any manners!  That’s not it at all.  It’s just easy to lose your cool when it comes to your flesh and blood.  You want to defend and protect, which is always great.  But you don’t always have to come in guns blazing to do your best for your kid.

Handling Yourself in Difficult School Situations – Part 2

Erika Krull, MS, LMHP

Erika Krull, MS, LMHP is a practicing licensed mental health counselor in Nebraska.

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APA Reference
Krull, E. (2009). Handling Yourself in Difficult School Situations – Part 2. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 18, 2020, from


Last updated: 17 Sep 2009
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