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Coping Skills

Trusting Others


When you are an emotionally sensitive person, it's important who you have in your life. When you have intense feelings and are easily hurt, harsh people can be difficult for you to be around. When you've had difficult experiences with others you may struggle to trust your judgment and decide to not get close to others. While understandable, that decision can lead to loneliness and depression.

As an emotionally sensitive person, you may struggle with knowing who you can be emotionally open with and  trust. Brene Brown offers some guidelines by using the acronym BRAVING. Here's Dr. Brown's guidelines for determining if you can trust someone.



General

FAST: Tell the Truth

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), FAST is the skill for maintaining your self-respect. The T in FAST stands for Tell the Truth.  When you are maintaining your self-respect, it's important to tell the truth. This means to tell the truth about yourself, about others, and about events even when you are upset with that other person.  Or yourself.



Coping Skills

When You Hold On Too Tightly

Emotionally sensitive people often struggle with trusting their internal experience. They have been told so often, "You're too sensitive," or "You are such a drama queen, " or "You always over-react," that they believe there is something wrong with them.

Others frequently don't understand the intense emotions that the emotionally sensitive experience. In my experience, this leads many emotionally sensitive people to look to others for how they are supposed to feel, think, and act.

They are sometimes fearful they can't manage their intense emotions on their own, so they look to others for help. This can lead to clinging or holding on too tightly to others.


Emotionally Sensitive Person

Emotional Sensitivity: Are You Controlled By Your Emotions?


There are many ways that emotionally sensitive people are controlled by their emotions. Consider the following two situations.

Jen, an emotionally sensitive person, is a dentist who works hard and cares about her clients. She also has the personality characteristics of being overly agreeable. This means that she fears alienating others, to the point that she may not express her opinion when she knows others won't agree. She is sensitive to what others may want to hear and she sometimes finds that she has different opinions about issues depending on who she is with. She easily sees multiple sides to issues so it's easy to justify different views.



General

The Positives of Anger

Emotionally sensitive people often struggle with anger. They don't want to hurt the feelings of others. But not expressing anger even in constructive ways can cause problems.

True, anger can be destructive. But even the fiery hot anger that leads some to violent behavior can also motivate people to make a difference. Many of the positive changes in the world have developed from anger and upset about injustices. In addition, anger is often a signal that...


Emotionally Sensitive Person

Agreeing When You Don’t Agree

Conversations aren't threatening or scary when everyone agrees. But what about those conversations when you don't agree? Maybe a group of friends decide to get together at a certain restaurant. The restaurant is very far from where you live and you would rather...


Coping Skills

Self-Compassion as Part of Self-Care


Emotionally sensitive people are often among the most compassionate people you meet. They are compassionate with people they know, strangers, animals, and more, but they often struggle to be compassionate with themselves. They may even resist the idea that showing compassion to themselves is a desirable goal. Is self-compassion an indulgence? Does it need to be "deserved?"

Taking care of your physical health is important for your health. You may feel proud when you eat nutritious food...


General

Hitting the Pause Button

Emotionally sensitive people are not comfortable with conflict. When you are in conflict there is usually a sense of urgency. That sense of urgency makes you want to take action, even when there is no reason to take action, because you feel threatened by...


Coping Skills

Your Emotions Are Talking to You


When you're with other people - a friend, a stranger, or a family member - you experience emotions. Lots of them.

Some of those emotions are pleasant and some are not so pleasant. Some will be so powerful that you'll shout at people, hate people you used to love, and exhibit all sorts of behaviors you later regret. Or you'll keep it all inside and vow to never leave your house again or to at least stay away...