Archives for Willpower

Borderline Personality Disorder

Hints for Practicing New Coping Skills

If you are working on developing new coping skills, you may find that understanding the skills and how they work is much easier than actually using the skills. You may be able to tell someone else about the skill, write out the steps involved, and answer questions about it but find you do not use it in your life. You may find that you keep going back to familiar ways of dealing with emotions and stress, even...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

25 Suggestions for Living a Contented Life by Managing Emotions, Part 1

Emotionally sensitive people react to events quickly and with intense emotions, and then have difficulty getting their emotional reactions to subside. Finding ways to manage emotions effectively can decrease the pain they experience.

Below are some suggestions for coping with intense emotions.

1. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness helps reduce anxiety and stress for everyone. Consider a way to practice mindfulness everyday that is easy...
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Coping Skills

Emotionally Sensitive People and Food


While it's not true for everyone, many emotionally sensitive people tend to use food as self-comfort. Eating is one of those strategies that works in the short-term but can have long-term consequences that add to your stress level.

When you go into your closet and nothing fits, that's a miserable feeling. When your chest is tight and you feel so stuffed with food you can't move, that's miserable too.


One of...
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Coping Skills

Strengthening Your Self-Control

Understanding how to maximize self-control of your emotions and behavior can decrease some of the emotional pain that emotionally sensitive people experience.

Not acting on impulse and thinking through how your actions in the short-term will affect your long term goals will decreae the suffering that you experience.

The good news is that some of the most effective strategies are everyday actions that are only surprising in terms of...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

More About Understanding Self-Control

Self-control or willpower is the ability to effectively manage your attention, emotions and desires. Understanding how willpower works can help you better manage your emotions and make the changes you want to make in your life.

When you are working to build more effective coping skills, you may find that no matter how strong your commitment to practicing new ways of soothing yourself, solving problems effectively,...
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Coping Skills

Exercise: Improve Your Mood and Help Repair the Effects of Stress

Emotionally sensitive people are often advised to exercise to calm their anxiety or to help overcome depression. Grandmothers, psychiatrists, friends and even strangers often suggest, "Exercise. You'll feel better."

In our recent survey, of the emotionally sensitive have found exercise helpful in managing their mood. Turns out the research, as reported by John Ratey, MD in his book Spark, shows exercise has a strong effect on mood as well as other important...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Changing Habits: The Power of Believing

Habits are a big part of the way we live our lives and make decisions. More than forty percent of the actions people perform each day are habits rather than decisions. That's almost half.

Good habits help you save your brain power. You don't have to decide or think about brushing your teeth, you just do it. When people...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Just One More Pair of Shoes and I Can Cope With This Stress


Dopamine is that wonderful chemical that  helps us recognize an opportunity to feel good. Dopamine release is about craving, wanting and seeking. Those sensations are all very different from liking, loving or being happy.

When a rat's dopamine system is wiped out, he'll still love the taste of sugar if you give it to him,  but he won't work to get it. Dopamine is what spurs us to work to get what...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Mom Was Right: Clean Your Room

In his book Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change, Timothy Wilson described the "broken windows" theory of James Wilson and George Kelling.

This theory is about neighborhoods and safety. Wilson and Kelling believed that the appearance of  neighborhoods made a difference in preventing criminal activity. They proposed that the environment communicated to people information on what behavior was appropriate.

Broken windows...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

How Stereotypes Affect the Emotionally Sensitive





A research study completed years ago has always fascinated me. In the 1960's Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson administered a test to all students in an elementary school and gave the results to the teachers. They told the teachers that based on the test results some students were particularly likely to excel academically in the upcoming year whereas others were not.

The "gifted" students were actually chosen by drawing...
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