Archives for Self-Compassion - Page 2

Coping Skills

Maybe This Year It Will Be Different…

I don't know who wrote the following words of wisdom about stages of recovery.  It's been around as long as I can remember and this is just one version.

Stages of Recovery

Stage 1:
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Stage 2:
I walk down...
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Emotionally Sensitive Person

Home and Loneliness

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go and not be questioned."

Home, in my mind, is about a feeling. That feeling can come from people, a place or yourself. It is serenity, laughter and authentic acceptance. Authentic acceptance from others means they know my faults and love me anyway. They don't point out my ongoing shortcomings to improve...
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Coping Skills

Five Keys to Mindful Communication


The first key of mindful communication, according to Chapman (2012), is having a mindful presence. This means having an open mind, awake body and a tender heart. When you have a mindful presence, you give up expectations, stories about yourself and others, and acting on emotions.

You are fully in the present moment; your communication isn't focused on the "me" and what the "me" needs, but the we.

Mindful listening is the second key to mindful...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Relationship Cocoons


How many people have been in relationships that they knew weren't right for them, but stayed anyway? My guess is more people have done that than haven't. Such relationships may be boring, more work than they are rewarding, emotionally painful, lacking intimacy or sharing and feel forced. Instead of adding to the joy and happiness in your life, a bad relationship may find you feeling sad, anxious and thinking hopeless thoughts.

These relationships may...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Learning to Trust Yourself Through Mindfulness

Emotionally sensitive people sometimes have difficulty trusting themselves. There's often good reason for this; when someone has intense emotions, she can't be sure how she will react in different situations with various people.

Most emotionally sensitive people have experiences in which they've reacted emotionally in ways they wish they hadn't. Maybe they feel embarrassed or ashamed of the way they've behaved in the past and fear repeating that experience. Often they can't...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Letting Go of Judgments

The cost of judging is quite high, particularly for emotionally sensitive people. Think how you would live your life if you weren't afraid of being judged, either by yourself of others?

Judging and fear of being judged often keeps people in a trap - an emotional jail. Instead of living your life the way you would love to, you live safely, doing what is acceptable, so...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Judging, Judging, Judging


Most people have multiple ways of judging themselves, and often that involves comparing themselves to others. Maybe you have a role-model in mind, a person you think has it all together. Maybe you choose the best of several other people to compare yourself to--the role model for your professional life is different than the person you look up to in your personal life, and the person you admire for her mothering...
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Coping Skills

25 Suggestions for Living a Contented Life, Part 2

In the last post, I listed twelve suggestions for managing more intense emotions and living a contented life. Today's post has the remaining thirteen. There are many more ideas that are not listed.

When you're feeling upset, it's difficult to problem-solve or think of what actions might help. Keeping a list of what works for you could be an important step for coping successfully.  It's also true that building strong basics in...
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Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Living Your Values



Living a values-based life is not an easy goal. You get up in the morning, you've got tasks to do. Sometimes you just do tasks without considering how you are allocating your time.  Sometimes you just keep going all day until you are done, then fall into bed exhausted. Often it seems there isn't enough time to think about living your life with meaning or putting your energy into what you believe...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Understanding Shame

Understanding emotions, being able to observe them in ourselves, and knowing the information they give us is an important part of living effectively. For example, fear tells us to take action or freeze to protect ourselves. When fear is based on true facts versus imagined or misinterpreted information, that message to self-protect can be lifesaving. That message is perfectly clear -- you are in danger.

Sometimes, though, the message our emotions are...
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