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Archives for Interpersonal skills

Coping Skills

When You Hold On Too Tightly

Emotionally sensitive people often struggle with trusting their internal experience. They have been told so often, "You're too sensitive," or "You are such a drama queen, " or "You always over-react," that they believe there is something wrong with them.

Others frequently don't understand the intense emotions that the emotionally sensitive experience. In my experience, this leads many emotionally sensitive people to look to others for how they are supposed to feel, think, and act.

They are...
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Coping Skills

Your Emotions Are Talking to You


When you're with other people - a friend, a stranger, or a family member - you experience emotions. Lots of them.

Some of those emotions are pleasant and some are not so pleasant. Some will be so powerful that you'll shout at people, hate people you used to love, and exhibit all sorts of behaviors you later regret. Or you'll keep it all inside and vow to never leave your house again or to at least stay away...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

When You Fear You Don’t Fit

Reinforcement is a term used in operant conditioning to refer to anything that increases the likelihood that a response will occur.  If every time you stay home on Sunday night your child performs better on the tests on Monday, and you are more likely to stay home because of that, then your child performing well on Monday tests reinforces your staying home the night before. When other people reinforce you for...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Accurate Expression

Imagine that your daughter is late coming home. It's 3 AM and she hasn't called. The roads are wet--it's pouring rain. You are terrified. The minute she finally walks in the door, you're angry. You scream about how inconsiderate and irresponsible she is. Then she's back out the door, yelling that she hates you. You sit with your head in your hands. So many times you've been through this and promised yourself you'd handle...
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Coping Skills

Too Busy to Live: Mindfulness of Your Priorities

If we are paying attention to our lives, we'll recognize those defining moments. The challenge for so many of us is that we are so deep into daily distractions and 'being busy, busy' that we miss out on those moments and opportunities that - if jumped on - would get our careers and personal lives to a whole new level of wow.  Robin S. Sharma

I’ve been thinking about priorities and demands. That’s an interpersonal skill in...
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Coping Skills

Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenge: An Interview with Lori Deschene


Strengthening relationships and feeling less lonely is a challenge for emotionally sensitive people and can be overwhelming. Tiny Buddha's 365 Tiny Love Challenges offers a step-by step model that is easily understood and gives the reader a way to move forward. I am grateful to Lori Deschene, the author, for answering a few questions about her work.

How did you get the idea for Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges?

I knew I wanted to write a book about strengthening...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Making Decisions in Wise Mind: The If. . .Then Question

Making decisions in emotion mind often has very difficult consequences. Being in emotion mind means more than experiencing strong emotions, it means your emotions are controlling your thinking and actions. Demanding in anger a divorce (that you don't really want), quitting a job you need when upset and you don't have another one, and walking out on your best friend who you still care about are all examples of acting on your emotions in ways...
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