Archives for Coping Skills

Borderline Personality Disorder

Emotion Regulation: Observing and Describing Emotions


As a child, you learned the labels for what you were feeling from your caregivers. Is that tightness in your throat fear or excitement? Is the tension in our muscles anger or fear? Those around you gave you labels for what you were experiencing in your body with statements like, "You're such a ball of nerves today," "Stop crying, you're just mad you didn't get your way,"  or "I'm guessing you're pretty mad at your mom."

Sometimes...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

When You Fear You Don’t Fit

Reinforcement is a term used in operant conditioning to refer to anything that increases the likelihood that a response will occur.  If every time you stay home on Sunday night your child performs better on the tests on Monday, and you are more likely to stay home because of that, then your child performing well on Monday tests reinforces your staying home the night before. When other people reinforce you for...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Accurate Expression

Imagine that your daughter is late coming home. It's 3 AM and she hasn't called. The roads are wet--it's pouring rain. You are terrified. The minute she finally walks in the door, you're angry. You scream about how inconsiderate and irresponsible she is. Then she's back out the door, yelling that she hates you. You sit with your head in your hands. So many times you've been through this and promised yourself you'd handle...
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Coping Skills

Coping Ahead for Your Holiday

Countless minefields lie ahead in the next few days. The holidays can lead you to  pressure yourself to be joyful, spend time with family, buy the perfect presents, and have a memorable celebration.  There's food to cook (the meal must be special, right?) and concern about who might drop off freshly baked goodies when you can't reciprocate. For the emotionally sensitive person, these challenges are aggravated by perfectionism, worry about people getting along, fear of hurting...
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Coping Skills

Too Busy to Live: Mindfulness of Your Priorities

If we are paying attention to our lives, we'll recognize those defining moments. The challenge for so many of us is that we are so deep into daily distractions and 'being busy, busy' that we miss out on those moments and opportunities that - if jumped on - would get our careers and personal lives to a whole new level of wow.  Robin S. Sharma

I’ve been thinking about priorities and demands. That’s an interpersonal skill in...
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Coping Skills

Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenge: An Interview with Lori Deschene


Strengthening relationships and feeling less lonely is a challenge for emotionally sensitive people and can be overwhelming. Tiny Buddha's 365 Tiny Love Challenges offers a step-by step model that is easily understood and gives the reader a way to move forward. I am grateful to Lori Deschene, the author, for answering a few questions about her work.

How did you get the idea for Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges?

I knew I wanted to write a book about strengthening...
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Coping Skills

Skills to Welcome Your Day When Past Fears Haunt You

The sun's up, the alarm clock sounds off and you peel your eyes open. What are your thoughts? I'm wondering if you squeeze your eyes shut and wish the day were over. Maybe you wake up tense with a boulder in your throat and an upset stomach. Maybe you have a low-grade sadness that the day just doesn't matter.

I've had that experience. For too long I struggled with anxiety about facing the day. Unfortunately I...
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