Archives for September, 2012

Coping Skills

Fooling Ourselves


We often don't know the reasons why we do what we do, feel what we feel, or make the choices we make, but apparently we are very good at creating reasons that seem quite logical and that reflect favorably on us. For example, we may believe that cheating and lying are wrong. Yet, according to Dan Ariely (2012) most of us lie. He's not talking...
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Emotionally Sensitive Person

Making a Difference

ccBarbara Mazz via Compfight

When you think about people who've made a difference in the world, maybe you think about Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Albert Einstein or the Dali Lama. Certainly they've all made a difference, to the point of being famous for their efforts. But making a difference in the world is powerful even when the impact seems to be for only one or...
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Coping Skills

WAIT: Being Mindful of Emotions

Regulating strong emotions is a difficult task for everyone. Actions that result in negative outcomes can seem so right when you're angry, hurt or sad. When your boyfriend breaks up with you unexpectedly the day before Valentine's Day, saying that he's interested in your best friend, understandably, you may want to rip up every one of his prized and valuable baseball cards (not to mention what you might want to say to your ex-best friend). When your...
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Emotionally Sensitive Person

Home and Loneliness

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go and not be questioned."

Home, in my mind, is about a feeling. That feeling can come from people, a place or yourself. It is serenity, laughter and authentic acceptance. Authentic acceptance from others means they know my faults and love me anyway. They don't point out my ongoing shortcomings to improve...
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Coping Skills

Open Heart Vulnerability


 

Based on the research on happiness, having close relationships is associated with life satisfaction. At the same time, connecting with others in a meaningful way requires allowing yourself be vulnerable. To connect meaningfully is to shed pretense, to take off whatever mask you wear and allow the authentic you to be present. Brene Brown has excellent TED talks and books that discuss her research on vulnerability.

Emotionally sensitive people tend...
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Coping Skills

Effective Conversations About Difficult Issues


When emotions are high and there are different viewpoints among participants, having an effective conversation can be challenging. In addition, emotions usually run highest when the outcome of the conversation means the most. People get tense and hyper-alert, bracing themselves for the worst. For example, consider your reaction when someone says "We need to talk. "  Most people prepare for a difficult interaction by putting up barriers to defend themselves, not by relaxing and focusing on being...
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Coping Skills

Developing a Pause


You've just learned that your boyfriend cheated on you. Or your boss criticized you in front of a large group of people. Maybe a friend has talked about you in not-so-flattering ways with other people. Full of anger, you write a scathing email and push send. Or you tell the other person off.  A few minutes later, you realize you are in agony, wishing you could unsend the email or unsay your...
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