Need treatment? Find help or get online counseling right now!

Archives for August, 2012

Coping Skills

For Those Who Dread Small Talk


Based on research, people in general are happier and have a greater sense of well-being the less time they spend alone. A recent study adds to that understanding. People who engage in more meaningful conversations, rather than small talk, have a greater sense of well-being. But small talk may be the path to having those deeper conversations. You may need to...
Continue Reading

Borderline Personality Disorder

Learning Emotion Regulation Skills


Medicine has had its moments of magic, like the polio vaccine and penicillin, where the discovery practically wiped out a major health problem. Some believe the "magic" of medicine may have reached its limit and advancement now will be in people actively working to prevent illness through the choices they make, such as nutrition and exercise.

The moments of magic may have misled many people into being passive...
Continue Reading

Borderline Personality Disorder

The Power and Mystery of Sleep

 

All the work our body does during sleep is still a mystery. We are just beginning to understand some of the reasons sleep is so important to us. There are many ways that lack of sleep affects our functioning and our health.

1.  Obesity.  One study found that by age 27, those who sleep less than six hours a night are times more likely to have an unhealthy...
Continue Reading

Borderline Personality Disorder

Identifying Your Emotions


Children learn words for things from others, maybe the adults in their lives or older siblings or friends. Mom might point to an animal and say "dog."  The child then points to a horse and says "dog" and Mom says, "No, that's a horse."

Children are not born knowing the names of emotions. They learn their emotions in much the same way as they learn the names of animals. When adults are careful and label emotions accurately, the...
Continue Reading

Coping Skills

The First Steps in Regulating Your Emotions

It's no surprise that managing your emotions is an important part of happiness. Even though it's not easy, the good news is that regulating emotions can be learned.  The first step in regulating is becoming aware of what triggers your emotions and what emotions you are experiencing.

Knowing the Cause

Part of understanding what you are feeling is knowing the reason for the emotion. Let's say you are feeling fear. If you believe the fear means...
Continue Reading

Coping Skills

Five Keys to Mindful Communication


The first key of mindful communication, according to Chapman (2012), is having a mindful presence. This means having an open mind, awake body and a tender heart. When you have a mindful presence, you give up expectations, stories about yourself and others, and acting on emotions.

You are fully in the present moment; your communication isn't focused on the "me" and what the "me" needs, but the we.

Mindful listening is the second key to mindful...
Continue Reading

Borderline Personality Disorder

Relationship Cocoons


How many people have been in relationships that they knew weren't right for them, but stayed anyway? My guess is more people have done that than haven't. Such relationships may be boring, more work than they are rewarding, emotionally painful, lacking intimacy or sharing and feel forced. Instead of adding to the joy and happiness in your life, a bad relationship may find you feeling sad, anxious and thinking hopeless thoughts.

These relationships may...
Continue Reading

Emotion Skills

The Mindfulness of We

Certainly there are situations in which it is important to protect yourself emotionally. At the same time, there are many every day situations in which the threat is only to our egos and our need to see ourselves in a certain way or to be right.

When we feel emotionally threatened by statements made by close friends, partners, or even people we've just met, we tend to automatically act to protect ourselves,...
Continue Reading

Borderline Personality Disorder

If You Love Someone Who is Emotionally Sensitive


1. Learn how to validate. When emotionally sensitive people are upset, their emotions are more intense and last longer than those of other people you know. No one thinks clearly when emotionally dysregulated.

During those moments, the brain is focused on survival and threat, not on seeing options or thinking through the best way to express ideas. Validating their point of view and their emotions can help them get back to their wise...
Continue Reading

Coping Skills

There’s Something Wrong with Me

Imagine you drop by your neighbor's house for a morning cup of coffee.  She tells you that her adult son just lost his job because he was late to work for the third time. What thoughts are you likely to have?

Maybe you think badly of your friend, because she must have spoiled him when he was younger. Maybe you think badly of him, like how irresponsible he is or that he...
Continue Reading

12