Archives for April, 2012

Coping Skills

The Emotionally Sensitive Friend

You might imagine that emotionally sensitive people would be popular as friends. Someone who is tuned in to what you are feeling, your needs and wants would be the perfect friend, right?

Many times it's true. Your emotionally sensitive companion is often the one who brings soup when you are sick and remembers that you don't want chocolate cake for your birthday--you prefer lemon. She's entertaining, witty and caring.

But sometimes you may...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Building Identity


We all have certain beliefs about ourselves. We may believe that we are athletic, smart, good at English, or that we are terrible at math. We believe that we are good at making friends, shy, or outgoing. Most of the time our beliefs about ourselves work to help our lives flow more easily. We don't have to re-decide who we are in every situation.

Sometimes though, the emotionally sensitive don't consider or lose awareness of what...
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Coping Skills

Strengthening Your Self-Control

Understanding how to maximize self-control of your emotions and behavior can decrease some of the emotional pain that emotionally sensitive people experience.

Not acting on impulse and thinking through how your actions in the short-term will affect your long term goals will decreae the suffering that you experience.

The good news is that some of the most effective strategies are everyday actions that are only surprising in terms of...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

More About Understanding Self-Control

Self-control or willpower is the ability to effectively manage your attention, emotions and desires. Understanding how willpower works can help you better manage your emotions and make the changes you want to make in your life.

When you are working to build more effective coping skills, you may find that no matter how strong your commitment to practicing new ways of soothing yourself, solving problems effectively,...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Managing Impulses

Sometimes people who care and want to help the Emotionally Sensitive tell them to  "Just get over it," or "there's no reason to be that upset," or  "think before you act."  Though they don't intend to invalidate the emotionally sensitive person, they are.

They probably don't realize how many skills are necessary to not act on intense emotions. To manage emotional responses and use effective...
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Coping Skills

Exercise: Improve Your Mood and Help Repair the Effects of Stress

Emotionally sensitive people are often advised to exercise to calm their anxiety or to help overcome depression. Grandmothers, psychiatrists, friends and even strangers often suggest, "Exercise. You'll feel better."

In our recent survey, of the emotionally sensitive have found exercise helpful in managing their mood. Turns out the research, as reported by John Ratey, MD in his book Spark, shows exercise has a strong effect on mood as well as other important...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Emotionally Sensitive People: Survey Results, Part 2


Thank you again to the many people who took the time to answer my survey and give such thoughtful answers. The information you shared has been invaluable.

Let's continue looking at what you had to say about being emotionally sensitive. There were many experiences that you treasure. Feeling great joy and rarely being bored was one of them. Many believe that being emotionally sensitive enhances creativity.

Some feel special in their ability...
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Coping Skills

Emotionally Sensitive People: Survey Results, Part 1

Many thanks to every one of the two hundred and sixty two people who answered the questions on the survey about emotionally sensitive people (ESP). The answers were enlightening, heartfelt and touching.

Let's take a look at what you said about being an emotionally sensitive person.

Most had at least one other person in their family who was also emotionally sensitive and many had more than one. Most...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Holding Hope: Validating By Cheerleading


One of the most important levels of validation in Dialectical Behavior Therapy is cheerleading. Cheerleading involves holding and encouraging hope.

Hope is what keeps people going forward when difficult emotions and harsh experiences slam them against the ground--hope for a better life, for a life with less suffering, for the skills to manage challenging emotions in healthy ways.

For the emotionally sensitive, less desired emotions like irritation, hurt, sadness and shame can take...
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