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Archives for January, 2012

Borderline Personality Disorder

Coping With A Stressful Situation: Managing Your Emotions


Whether you're dealing with an emotional bully (see previous post about adult bullies) or other difficult situation, one of the first steps is to comfort yourself and manage your emotions.

The part of the brain that is responsible for decision-making and planning cannot function as well when you are filled with emotion. Acting on emotions without the thoughtfulness of the logical part of the brain usually means trouble.

Even when you're in the right about a...
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Coping Skills

Understanding Adult Bullies

One type of emotional bully is the person who attempts to use anger as a way of protecting themselves, controlling others or as a form of connection. Anger is often a hurtful emotion for those on the receiving end. For emotionally sensitive people having someone angry at them can be devastating and result in their withdrawing, fighting, acting in unhealthy ways and experiencing hours of emotional pain.

One of the...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

The Three Components of Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion is a form of acceptance, one of the four options you have no matter what the problem you face (see previous post, No Matter What the Problem, There Are Only Four Things You Can Do). Kristin Neff in her book Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, lists three core components of self-compassion: self-kindness, recognition of our  common humanity, and mindfulness....
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Self-Compassion

Sometimes people who are emotionally sensitive are angry with themselves: angry because they feel different than other people, because they are easily hurt, and sometimes because they feel broken.

Perhaps they've heard that they are too sensitive or overreacting so often that they are angry with their sensitivity. Some emotionally sensitive individuals feel ashamed, like they are less than other people. Some are frustrated that their emotional reactions have gotten in the way of achieving...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

No Matter What the Problem, There Are Only Four Things You Can Do

When faced with a difficult problem, you might find yourself paralyzed over deciding what to do. Emotionally sensitive people often have difficulty making decisions, tend to ruminate about issues and can become increasing upset as a result of thinking about the issue over and over.

Searching and searching for the right solution, perhaps one that won't upset others or cause pain or loss, adds to anxiety...
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Coping Skills

You Might Be an Emotionally Sensitive Person If…

Emotionally sensitive people have some common characteristics even though they also vary greatly. The following are just a few characteristics to consider if you think you might be an emotionally sensitive person.

You have a rich emotional life, feeling your feelings deeply and often. Your day is filled with a wide range of emotions and you experience most situations with emotional response.

You might laugh and cry within the same hour. Sights and...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Knowing Your Emotions: Internal Triggers

Emotionally sensitive people react emotionally to most situations and often are quite aware of what triggered their emotions. Sometimes, though,  they don't know why they are feeling what they are feeling.

Consumed by their feelings, they don't think to determine the cause. However, identifying what triggered their feelings is helpful in knowing how to manage and accept the feelings.

If an emotion is justified, like feeling fear because someone looks like they are...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

When Bad Things Happen to Sensitive People


The IRS calls and you're being audited and your dog just chewed up all your receipts. Your husband forgets your anniversary.  Your son fails a class.  Your best friend talks behind your back.  When even everyday kind of bad things happen, emotionally sensitive people feel more fear than others do and often their threat alert system is activated in some way every day. When on threat alert, the brain's defense system is activated to...
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Borderline Personality Disorder

Wearing Masks

The world can be a bruising place for emotionally sensitive people. A regular day can feel like being covered in biting, Texas-sized fire ants. A natural response is to do whatever works to avoid the pain of believing others have judged, rejected or left you out. Feeling powerless to stop injustice adds to the hurt. One option is to wear a mask and hide who you really are--an Avoidance...
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