5 thoughts on “Do You Isolate During Depression?

  • November 22, 2015 at 9:33 pm

    There’s a reason I isolate during episodes of depression. It’s because I have to get through it, and if I let people in it will interrupt the healing process and I’ll have to take even longer to get through it. Getting through it is bad enough, but to have to prolong it to please other people is my idea of hell. It’s like asking me to ignore my broken leg, take off my plaster cast,go jogging with a friend, then put the cast back on. Sorry but that’s not gonna happen. Mental illness is self absorbing for a reason– all illnesses are self absorbing, only most get better reasonably soon so nobody acknowledges it, or minds. But if I have an illness for 20, 30 or 40 years, of course people are gonna notice how obsessive I might get. It’s natural, just more prolonged. It’s not selfishness. I’m not going to prolong my healing just so my friends can see me. If they’re good friends they won’t care that I haven’t been around or in touch. They’ll understand that this is a process I need to go through to heal, and they’ll be happy to wait until I get back in touch with them. The last thing they’ll do is complain that I’ve not made my healing all about them, or that I should interrupt my healing to accommodate them. If they did I’d probably cut them loose, because complaining about my healing process tells me that they’re not really accepting that there’s anything I need to heal from. Where my health is concerned, it’s all about me and will remain all about me until I’m well enough to make my time all about my friends. I can only be a good friend when I’m properly healed, so why should I interrupt my healing process if it means being a less than stellar friend?

    Reply
    • November 22, 2015 at 10:39 pm

      Hi Lov,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a thoughtful response. This was just another perspective piece. By all means I think everyone should do what is healthiest for them. I send you all the best.

      Nicole

      Reply
    • October 8, 2016 at 9:25 pm

      spot on lov. if we could do all that with the burden of depression it would be a miracle! We don’t want others to bear the pain we are experiencing by witnessing ours. That would compound the guilt we already feel.

      Reply
  • November 24, 2015 at 2:23 pm

    You put into words what I feel so often…thank you….

    Reply
  • November 24, 2015 at 3:47 pm

    Thank you for your honesty & willingness to share your experiences with others~I had never been depressed a day in my life…then after 4 beautifully amazing children & an ugly 21 yr. marriage, I filed for divorce. It took every single bit of raw, fearful, desperate strength I had to leave the man who over the years chiseled away at my Spirit,my light, my Soul until I was a broken mess of my former self. I was counseled to believe that if I just left, everything would get better, the only road that leads to restoring & healing. I could write a book on the catastrophic aftermath of that decision, so I’ll try to be brief. I filed for divorce in 2001, he is a Lawyer, and I quit my job to stay home and raise my 4 children (the Greatest Joy & gift God ever allowed me), however, we are STILL battling in court, with no reprieve, for 14 years. I discovered that most abusive husbands’ need to control & dominate consumes them, when I left, he declared he wasn’t going to rest until I destroyed. He has kept his promise, he has not rested, because I have not allowed him his goal. But that has caused him to keep upping the ante in his dangerous actions. His entire existence still to this day is focused on planning detailed, smart(so there are no repercussions for him) ways to hurt me. I apologize about going on, what I wanted to share with you is that I mentally just shut down after about 3 years of this constant harrassment (and I did obtain Orders of Protection,so then he started using the police, calling them over 200 times in 6 months, accusing me of various things, none true-however, it still takes a toll). My mind had what the psychiatrist called a panic attack, which turned into a psychotic break. Then began my journey with isolation. I was so afraid to tell ANYONE what was happening because I thought I was literally the only one experiencing the “I” word. I had never heard of isolating before in my life, and I thought if I told anyone they would lock me up in a mental institution. I didn’t need to give my ex an ammunition. I went from over feeling every emotion and crying all the time, to feeling absolutely nothing, numb. I could not cry if I wanted to~I even put on the DVD of The Notebook-nothing. For 3 months I did not leave my house,made no calls to or answered the phone for anyone, stopped eating and found it exhausting to get from my bed to the bathroom to shower. It got to the point where I was so afraid all the time, I even stopped showing up at Court dates. That is when there was tangible proof of my behavior affecting my children,(he was able to stop the child support by default because I was a no-show), so only by the GRACE of God strengths leading me at that point, I somehow checked myself into a hospital specializing in Trauma,PTSD & anxiety. During the intake I was still so apprehensive about telling them I “isolated” because at that point I still believed it was something so off the wall, they might not take me if I told them. Boy was I shocked my first night of group therapy and found out how uneducated regarding mental health issues I was, but in one day I felt better than I had in years because I discovered I WAS NOT ALONE, I was not a freak, and there is support out there~but first you have to be willing to get up and walk out the door. It is an understatement to say how much pain my symptoms caused me by thinking I was the alone in feeling them. That is why articles like yours are so important. We don’t know what we don’t know, and had I read something like your blog when I was suffering, I would have reached out for help a lot sooner, knowing that I wasn’t alone in what I was experiencing. So after way way too many words…the most important ones are… THANK YOU

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