Would you like to live free of distressing emotions and learn to handle them better? Find and have good relationships? How about having a career that you like and look back at someday with pride? These are all possible, no matter where you are starting from if you are in the right mindset. I believe that much of the anxiety, depression, anger and every other disturbing emotion are products of our mindset and what others have taught us to believe. In fact, they have taught us to be miserable.
I think all this Covid time, the drastic changes in our lives and daily death in our face has really shown us that life can be short, that all of a sudden things can be upside down and maybe what we have been doing makes us feel like we are on the hamster wheel. You probably have had time to google things, gaze into the horizon, explore new ideas and maybe wish you never had to go back to your old job. Maybe you are stuck in the house with kids who don’t mind, or you are lonely or have much needed house projects staring you in the face and screaming your name. Things you never find the time to correct or interest to do.
Maybe you feel so overwhelmed that you cant even imagine the luxury of taking control of everything, let alone add things. Please let me assure you it can be done.
Here are the only things you will need in order to start making changes right now:
- A willingness to make changes in your thinking that open your horizons. Don’t be afraid to do this, nothing is being taken away from you, you can always go back to how you used to think if you don’t like the new ways.
- A willingness to ask questions of yourself that will allow you to move forward instead of feeling stuck.
- A willingness to push through all the scary parts because growth is always scary. Again, don’t worry, you can always go back if you feel like it.
- The strong desire to include something new in your life that brings you some joy. Such a strong desire that you can feel it in your bones.
- The willingness to leave naysayers in the dirt. No one was put on earth to tell you how to run your life or that because you have a lot of anxiety or have been depressed in the past that you can’t find life satisfaction.
- If you are a chronically angry person you will have to be willing to get that chip off your shoulder. It is a burden you no longer need to bear and it interferes with every aspect of your life, you know it does.
- A commitment to yourself that you want something better or different and that you are going to do it within a specific time period, not leave it hanging out there like everything else that needs doing. This is a priority!
- You will have to create and enforce boundaries that define you.
- A detailed plan or blueprint that will get you where you want to be. One with specific goals and timelines.
Those are the only requirements to getting started. As you can see the common theme in them is you and getting your brain wrapped around the idea that you would like a change.
The things that will need to be eliminated are as follows:
- Resistance to change. In therapy we call them this the “Yes, buts”. These are the reasons all the new stuff sounds great but cannot work for you. You have already decided this when you start with the “Yes buts”. You will have already eliminated the possibility of change. “Yes, the goals are a good idea but I have no time to sit and make goals.”
- Allowing others to control you or make decisions for you. This can be scary if you have always depended on others but the fun of driving your own bus way outweighs the scariness.
- Dysfunctional thinking patterns or behaviors that get in the way of your progress.
- Acceptance of the thought that your life is out of your control.
That is what it takes, that is the mindset that will allow you to create a life that provides you with the things you may not even have dared to imagine could be yours. The rest is the fun part. Adding, choosing, defining yourself, those are the things that make you feel in control and hopeful for a genuine life that reflects who you really are.
This mindset can be something you achieve by yourself or with some help. A mentor or coach can help as can a therapist or psychologist. You can do it through self help or an online course, whatever makes you feel comfortable and helps you make progress. If one doesn’t work, don’t give up, try another form of help until one resonates with you. Giving up is like giving up on yourself and your future.
To help you get started on your way to feeling good, I have some free resources and a quiz on my website, the link is below in the bio section.
Feel Good For Life!!