14 thoughts on “Crying, Depression, and Being a Man

  • July 18, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Crying is a huge stress release for emotional buildups and you don’t have to be Bipolar or have multiple sclerosis to experience it. It’s natural and should never be looked at as something that is not experienced by men in our society. Holding emotions in is part of the problem why men are more violent in certain circumstances and should be encouraged as a needed biological stress relieving function!

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    • July 19, 2015 at 3:31 pm

      Agreed! Thank you for reading and commenting. 🙂 ~Gabe

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  • July 20, 2015 at 8:25 am

    A fearless golden hearted warrior goes like this…. Most people see the idea of being open with their emotions as a sign of weakness. Hide your fears. If you feel sad, don’t let others see it. If you have to cry wipe your tears or turn away. If your heart is broken, don’t let the world know. Why? Why do we hide the pain and celebrate the strength?
    As a society, we see showing a broken heart as a sign of weakness. The fearless golden hearted warrior is a person who is not afraid to say I’m sad, this hurts. He/she will announce to the world that I am human; flawed, beautiful and completely imperfect. The warrior stands up and says I love you. I love all humans and believe that when you show a sad heart you are the true image of strength. You are beautiful.

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    • July 20, 2015 at 8:55 am

      Thank you 🙂 ~Gabe

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  • July 20, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    I saw my uncle cry once.

    He was a big man, like you. Over six feet tall (at 5’4″, I had to tip my head back to see his face) and weighing over 500 lbs., everyone called him Big John. He was like a father to me.

    When I was 18, I had a son. I named him after my uncle. My son died when he was 8 weeks old.

    Uncle John took it as hard as I had. When he broke down, with his arms around me and almost suffocating me, it didn’t make me feel like he was less of a man. I felt many things, broken mostly. But comforted, in a way, that another human being (man or woman) could share my pain so profoundly.

    I guess because of that experience and my age at the time, I just don’t see a crying man as less of a man. I see him as a more caring one.

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    • July 20, 2015 at 2:51 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing. I am sorry for your loss, but your words are amazing. Just, thank you. Hugs, Gabe

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    • July 22, 2015 at 11:07 pm

      Your story brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for sharing…

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  • July 20, 2015 at 11:18 pm

    I’ve been struggling with depression for a long time now. Sometimes it’s like there is a mask I wear to hide what I’m feeling inside. Writing helps a lot. My characters both male and female have strong emotions that they struggle with. There are some parts that I cry at every time I re-read them because the thoughts and emotions are a reflection of my own at some point in my own life. Since my husband started reading my books he understands me better than he ever has.
    I’m glad that you are writing about your feelings and sharing them. So many are afraid to publicly admit they have a problem. They are the ones that are in greatest need. Keep writing! Keep crying! Keep fighting!

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    • July 20, 2015 at 11:24 pm

      I appreciate your kind words and I will keep fighting. WE both will keep fighting! Thank you. 🙂 Gabe

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  • July 22, 2015 at 10:46 am

    Thank you for sharing your journey with anxiety and bipolar. I recently had a friend commit suicide who had both. Your article gives me an insight into what he was feeling mentally, not to mention all his ongoing and deteriorating health and medical problems. I had been friends with him for 14 years, and he died right before his 69 birthday. His absence is a huge void, as the silence of his sadness and anxiety resonates with so many afflicted with mental illness.

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    • July 22, 2015 at 11:39 am

      Julie – It is my pleasure. Thank you for your words and my sincerest condolences on the loss of your friend. ((hugs)) ~Gabe

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  • July 22, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    I think this is a huge problem in society, and forces men to deal with this suppressed emotion in ways such as violence. I also feel like women underestimate how much men avoid any exhibition of vulnerability, it’s not that we are less emotional, it’s just that we are afraid to show it. I have read about studies that show boys are just as emotional as girls until they get to an age like 3 where they figure out about gender roles. Things are very slowly changing, but I would still be uncomfortable crying in front of my sisters or other family members or friends because it would challenge my identity so much, it’s so entrenched in society that men don’t cry, that to do so openly would make me feel confused as to who I was.

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  • July 22, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    I am thankful that emotions were allowed to be expressed in my immediate family. I do think my brothers gained a lot from being allowed to be emotional beings. Our mother has been severely depressed her whole life, but so far, all of us kids seem to have avoided that aside from temporary depression due to major life events (death, divorce- the usual downers of life).
    By allowing our emotions to be expressed instead of repressed, I think we learned to deal with them and to deal with what causes the emotions both good and not so good.

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  • January 7, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    I am 35, not a big guy like you but I was brought up to act like a man, to not show emotion, that is how my father and brothers are. Yet tonight I cried on my mothers shoulder. I have been suffering depression and anxiety for months on my own and have bottled so much up that I felt like an emotionless robot, alone, helpless, disconnected from all feeling. Tonight I chose to follow my heart and opened right up, as soon as the tears flowed I understood what it felt to have a heart in my chest again. I even felt the need to tell my mother I felt pathetic afterwards but she was so understanding, she said that if you can’t cry in front of your mother then who can you cry to. She also told me that I am a part of her and always will be, no matter what my age. It hasn’t removed my depression but it certainly felt great to open out completely and I feel I cleared out a lot of repressed feelings. From this night forward I shall never be so cruel to myself as to hold back those tears. We are emotional beings and to let the body cry is to begin the healing process.

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