“What is the point?” the woman asked me in a text message.

Instantly a drum-roll of trite responses popped into my head: “You’re so smart and help so many people.” “With all you’ve been through you are such an inspiration to others.” “You have so much to live for.”

True, but those responses are monkey dung, all of them.  The point is, I don’t know what “the point” is for this woman. What I do know is that it is okay to not know  “the point.” The lack of “a point”  does not mean there is no point. It simply means you don’t know what “the point” is right now. And that is okay. I don’t need to know everything all the time. 

This epiphany came to me in the produce aisle at the grocery store. I looked at the cantaloupe and realized that on a good day, my brain is no bigger than a cantaloupe. Pretty arrogant of me to think that a blob of flesh no bigger than a cantaloupe in my head could figure out the really important things in life, such as: Is there a God? What happens after we die? Why do the Kardashians have a TV show? and What’s the Point?

Faith is the point. I need faith to get through the pointless hours of depression. I need faith that it will not always be this way and  that there will be a point. I believe in a higher power. I call my higher power God but you can call your higher power whatever you want. She doesn’t care. I have faith that my God has a point for me and faith that it will be revealed. Until then, I hang on…for dear life.

Some people have “issues” with the higher power/God thing. But when you are at the bottom of a black hole, the God-thing becomes very, very real. Without faith in something or someone, you could be down there for awhile. I look at it this way: I ended up in a depression despite my very best efforts to stay healthy. If my best efforts are not enough to keep me from falling into my black hole, I sure as hell need some faith in something or someone to get me out.

The woman who sent me the text message got an answer a few days later. She went to visit family for the holiday. Her young niece was in a crisis and needed someone safe and understanding to listen and hang out with – like a really good Aunt who will take you out for a manicure and pedicure and play Wii and even try to dance hip-hop.

That’s the point.