5 thoughts on “Finding Alternatives to Self-Harm

  • June 10, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    I Deal with Self Injury (SI)…Started out as a cutter in my teens and grew to burning and branding as the need for MORE emotional release was needed as I got older.

    It is TRUE it is a mal-productive coping mechanism.

    I understood what I communicating with SI! The last time I branded my-self saved my life!

    Does that sounds strange?

    I turned to self-harm over suicide! AGAIN, it was not the best coping skill I had at the time but it did work. The point I’m making is that just because we self harm does not mean we want to kill our-self’s… Many times it just the opposite!!!

    Your points on Alternatives to Self Harm are very good starting points. For me, Drawing has been my salvation…

    It’s been 2 year and 2 month since I last branded…

  • June 10, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    I’ve been in therapy for a couple of years now but still self-harm. I have a good therapist. I am building a support base but a lot of times I still feel alone and the pain inside is still too much. I get discouraged because there is a big part of me that wants to recover and not be stuck wearing long sleeves all the time. For me, the biggest obstacle is losing hope, that it is even possible to recover after all this time.

  • August 11, 2010 at 11:57 pm

    I saw a free school therapist for 1 year and I really did put all my effort into it. But our time has ended together and while I did have less SI moments, I had to deal with the underlying emotions and urges to SI for longer periods of time than I would have if I had just SI and gone back to what I was doing. Also my grades dropped because I spent more time avoiding triggers like stress and fear of failure, self-handicapped to protect my self esteem, and because I spent more time struggling with the strong emotions and depression than I would have if I’d taken it out on myself. Also she warned me that our school’s free therapists can’t see someone long-term and probably can only see someone for 4 weeks, once every other week. This made me lose hope and I don’t know if I’ll ever go back for help, and I’m starting to wonder what’s the point of trying to quit if SI allowed me to achieve more, even if I did pay a price. I used to want help but now I don’t know if I do and that scares me because I think it might get out of control.

  • September 16, 2010 at 6:52 am

    There is so much to say, and so much to know, and so much that works. But what really helps and heals the most is so rare used, as it requires at least for me, the absolute truth. (and that grows, of course)

    But it should always be your truth and never a superior knowledge from the therapist as really, only you know the truth.

    I said before that I had a great psychiatrist treating me for this problem. I had had a very severe case of Bulimia for years, and one of the first insights I had was that SI was a way of bringing out into the open how terrible I felt, and to make the invisible visible.

    Bulimia is so painful and horrible but nobody knows and it’s all secretive. SI, on the other hand, is so easy and makes you feel so great and it’s visible from the outside. (I also meant to communicate that anyone thinking SI is dramatically worse than an eating disorder really has got it wrong. SI was the first step in my recovery for myself)

    The worst therapist to have is one who does not listen, doesn’t ask, or doesn’t want to know and explore with the patient. He/she knows it all, or is into the suicide thing just because he doesn’t know any better.

    So this is what my therapist did. He made me show him the wound and if there were bandadges because I had to have many stitches, I had to open them as well. He wanted us both to see the damage done, and together. While looking,this enabled me to explore the ‘why’s’, and know that my therapist was not angry.

    ??? One of the horrors I felt was my increasing dependence on the therapist and I did not want to need him as badly as I did and become a horror patient. I had never needed anyone. SI became a way of cutting myself free from the need, or at least an attempt to do so, and partially a punishment as well.

    • September 21, 2010 at 5:58 am

      Thank you for sharing your story. Sharing a personal struggle can be so helpful to others.


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