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with Juan Santos, M.S., CRC, LPC

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The Key To A Successful Relationship Is Work and Commitment

The key to a successful is work.

When was the last time that you asked your partner if they felt loved, appreciated or valued?

Every successful relationship requires two people that are committed to the principle of work. The work is focused on identifying ways to address issues that are hurting the relationship while sharpening areas that continue to improve the relationship.

When I work with couples, I often find a gap with respect to evaluating the following questions on a frequent basis:

  • Do you feel valued?
  • Do you feel needed?
  • Do you feel appreciate?
  • What did we do to help the relationship this week?

Couples that take time to ask questions are directly investing in the health of the relationship.

Consider planting. I have always loved playing in the garden. As a child, I would follow my mother around the garden. Helping her pull the weeds or carefully lay down new plants. We would spend hours on hours digging in the dirt and tending to the plants.

As an adult, I still find my mother closely monitoring her plants.


When I am asked, “what makes a successful relationship function?” the answer is work. A person must be committed to their relationship in all matters. They must take time to address challenges while identifying ways to grow and connect. Once a person stops tending to their garden the plants begin to experience the side effects. Even from a distance, you can tell if a plant is properly taken care of.

As mentioned earlier, the key to a successful is work. I designed the relationship building course to provide couples with tools to overcome challenges and further improve on what’s working in the relationship. To explore how the course can help click here

In the relationship building course, you will find reviews from happy couples. Partners that have addressed the issues hurting the relationship and now feel connected.

One of the activities in the course is the check-in activity. To paint you a small picture of how this activity can help your relationship, practice the following:

Once a week, for 30 minutes schedule a time to communicate with your partner. During this time period go over the following questions:

  • What sacrifices have been made to support the relationship?
  • What can we improve on?
  • What did not go well this week?
  • Do you feel valued?
  • Do you feel needed?
  • Do you feel appreciate?
  • What does our schedule look like for the upcoming week?
  • Did we take sufficient time to engage in individual self-care?
  • Did we have a date night?
  • Did we take time to engage in an activity together?

As a relationship counselor, I encourage couples to promote dialogue that leads to stronger and healthier connection while further identifying what’s working and what’s not working.


Below is a helpful video that provides insight and guidance to your relationship:

The Key To A Successful Relationship Is Work and Commitment

Juan Santos M.S., CRC, LPC

Mr. Juan Santos is a professional counselor, private practice consultant and book author who specializes in relationship stability and understanding separation indicators. He has conducted hundreds of couples counseling sessions. Mr. Santos is the creator of two successful relationship strengthening courses: "A Marriage Preparation Course: For Premarital Couples" and "The Relationship Building Course: For struggling couples". He is the author of the following self-help psychology books: Couples Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work; 100 Ways Married Men Can Remain Emotionally Connected; Life Without Stress, My Journal, and Parenting Education for Hispanic Families. Mr. Santos is the owner of Santos Counseling PLLC a counseling private practice located in Greensboro and Winston-Salem, NC. Mr. Santos is currently completing his doctoral studies at the University of the Cumberlands. He spends his time away from work with his family enjoying the great outdoors.

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APA Reference
Santos, J. (2018). The Key To A Successful Relationship Is Work and Commitment. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 25, 2019, from


Last updated: 16 Apr 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 16 Apr 2018
Published on All rights reserved.