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37 Questions For Serious Couples

Thought-provoking questions to build your relationship

Learn what questions you should be asking your partner to ensure that you are working to build a healthy relationship. Relationship Counselor, Juan Santos, provides 37 questions that you can practice at home to nourish your relationship.

I wish that in life someone would have had a conversation with me about relationships. The pillars of creating and sustaining a healthy relationship. Like most, I had examples around me. My parents, the media, books, and role models in the community.

I think a conversation would have really gone a long way.

As a professional counselor that specializes in helping couples to improve the success of the relationship while evaluating common topics that if not addressed create tension and disconnect. I have found that couples who invest in their relationship tend to reap the benefits.

The benefits include:

  • Better fights
  • Intimate sex
  • Closer connection

I want to share with you conversation topics that can improve your relationship. The goal is to allow the conversation topic to take hold of the relationship and lead it in a stronger and healthier direction.

  1. What is your definition of commitment?
  2. What does marriage mean to you?
  3. Describe how you plan to remain committed to the marriage?
  4. What attracted you to your partner first?
  5. What are your goals for the next 2 years?
  6. What are your goals for the next 5 years?
  7. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
  8. What do you expect from your marital partner in regards to finances?
  9. What do you expect from your marital partner in regards to intimacy?
  10. What do you expect from your marital partner in regards to communication?
  11. Are you aware of how much time together and alone is needed?
  12. What are traditions you would like to start?
  13. How will you deal with difficulty?
  14. How will you deal with each other when things calm down (i.e. Retirement or when the kids leave the home?”
  15. How do you plan to live together?
  16. How do you plan to split chores?
  17. How do you plan to parent your child?
  18. How will you balance external relationships with what’s personal?
  19. When do you plan to start a family?
  20. What values are honored in your marriage?
  21. How are the values acted on?
  22. What is the mission statement to your marriage?
  23. How many kids do you plan to have?
  24. Will you share or have separate bank accounts or both?
  25. What are your partner’s triggers?
  26. How can you help your partner manage their emotional difficulties?
  27. How do you plan to save money?
  28. Who will be in charge of paying the bills?
  29. Who will be in charge of the taxes?
  30. How will the in-laws impact the relationship?
  31. How can you support each other with family dynamics?
  32. Who will you spend the holidays with?
  33. What are the gender role expectations?
  34. Will both work or just one once the kids arrive?
  35. How do you plan to resolve conflicting issues?
  36. Is marriage or relationship counseling going to be part of the equation?
  37. How does your spiritual life impact the relationship?

As you read over the questions, take time to work together and to understand each other. Relationships require that two people understand each other, respect each other, and work to build a life together.

You don’t always have to agree.

But, I hope you can agree to disagree.

As a relationship counselor, I work to help couples create the foundation that fuels a relationship with harmony and connection. If you would like to nourish your relationship, plan for the future and address common areas that are connected to separation CLICK HERE to explore the relationship workshop.

The relationship workshop offers two courses.

The Premarital Course:

Premarital Couples: Partners who are planning to get married or who are already engaged and wish to build the foundation to a lasting life together.

The Relationship Building Course

Couples that are struggling and seeking to overcome challenges in the relationship.


For more helpful relationship advice check out the Counseling Talk YouTube Channel

37 Questions For Serious Couples

Juan Santos M.S., CRC, LPC

Mr. Juan Santos is a professional counselor, private practice consultant and book author who specializes in relationship stability and understanding separation indicators. He has conducted hundreds of couples counseling sessions. Mr. Santos is the creator of two successful relationship strengthening courses: "A Marriage Preparation Course: For Premarital Couples" and "The Relationship Building Course: For struggling couples". He is the author of the following self-help psychology books: Couples Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work; 100 Ways Married Men Can Remain Emotionally Connected; Life Without Stress, My Journal, and Parenting Education for Hispanic Families. Mr. Santos is the owner of Santos Counseling PLLC a counseling private practice located in Greensboro and Winston-Salem, NC. Mr. Santos is currently completing his doctoral studies at the University of the Cumberlands. He spends his time away from work with his family enjoying the great outdoors.

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APA Reference
Santos, J. (2018). 37 Questions For Serious Couples. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 24, 2020, from


Last updated: 23 Apr 2018
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network ( prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on All rights reserved.