10 thoughts on “Nine Lies We Tell Ourselves To Avoid Change

  • February 18, 2018 at 2:50 am

    Your article was so right, so to the point deep, but not too much, just right and quite thorough. I enjoyed every word of it. I believe your sense of the world reflects how I see realitu as well. It takes a scientific approach and humanity to master simplicity in expression and at the same time to feel the depth of your knowledge. Thank you for the pleasure to read that wonderful article of yours!
    Ani Stoyanova, MSW, RSW

  • February 21, 2018 at 8:38 am

    I woke this morn and most mornings in a state of anxiety. I am in a situation that I feel stuck in mud even though I have made incredible strides to improve myself. I fear that it is too late and that I lost so much. I’m back living in the home I grew up in that triggers the heck out of me. I opened your email to find the most amazing article delivering the message it’s NOT too late for change. Bless you and thank you!

    All the best!

  • February 21, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    Ms. Fintzy, could you direct me (Forensic Psych grad student) to your source for the statistics on the etiology of depression?


    • February 21, 2018 at 5:56 pm

      Hi Cara. The causes for depression are numerous and vary from individual to individual. One common variable is experiential avoidance, which generally includes new situations (i.e., change). Therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which emphasizes building mastery, and exposure therapy can be quite effective in reducing depression and anxiety symptoms associated with fear of change.

  • February 21, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    I have read, many , many similar articles about change/ staying the same or hitting bottom. Can’t tell you specifics, cepting maybe yours hit a grand slam homer , with two out in the last inning Thank you, here is hoping it will stick with me for a long long time.Patrick

    • February 21, 2018 at 5:50 pm

      Hi Patrick – Great to learn that something about the post struck a chord with you!

  • March 4, 2018 at 3:32 pm

    Superb article Rachel! You succinctly distill principles of behavior change in an article that itself facilitates such change. I have printed this out and have been giving it to psychotherapy clients who have commented more than once on its helpfulness.

    Thank you,


    P.S. Unless I’m reading it wrong, I believe there is a typo in #3: “Other people’s behavior is their responsibility”, should be: “Other people’s behavior is *not* their responsibility.”

    • March 4, 2018 at 6:19 pm

      Hi Mark – I’m so glad that the article has been helpful to some of your clients. Thanks for your question about #3 – I actually did mean to say that other people’s behavior is their responsibility (i.e., it isn’t our responsibility).


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