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Anxiety

10 Signs That You May Be A Perfectionist (and 20 Ways to Overcome Perfectionism)

When your colleagues at work compliment you on a talk you just gave, do you dismiss their remarks and berate yourself for the one slide you forgot to include in your Powerpoint presentation?

If your husband tells you how pretty you look, do you counter with a comment like “I really should lose five pounds”?

Do you have a critical voice in your head that constantly takes you or other people down a notch?

Signs that you may be...


Communication

23 Signs That You Are In A Healthy Relationship

Most of us want to be in a happy, healthy, and loving relationship. Yet often we’re not sure how to go about finding such a partnership, or, if we’re already in one, how to improve its quality. Or we might wonder whether our relationship is worth salvaging.

If you’re one of the fortunate people who’s in a healthy relationship, you probably recognize most, if not all, of the following items as being true for you and your...


Anxiety

10 Healthy Coping Strategies

You receive a phone call from your doctor. Your latest lab results suggest the need for further testing. You Google your potential diagnosis and are terrified by what you read.

Your boss informs you that your job of 20 years will be ending in two months. You are blindsided and also concerned about your next career move and your financial state.

You learn that your husband has been carrying on an affair with your next door neighbor for...


General

Four Essential Components Of A Balanced Life

It’s been said that we are human beings, not human doings.

Reminding ourselves of this concept can help us to keep life in perspective. Busyness can masquerade as “getting things done,” which may temporarily bolster our self-esteem, at least on the surface, but putting excessive focus on staying occupied can alienate us from ourselves as well as other people, and drain us physically and emotionally.

On the flip side, we generally don’t benefit from spending most of our...


Communication

How To Fix The Four Communication Styles That Predict Divorce

In any intimate, committed relationship we are bound to have differences with our partner. Since no two people are exactly alike, nor would we want it that way, the goal is not to eliminate disagreements (which, by the way, are not an indicator that a relationship is on the rocks), but to develop skills in the area of constructive conflict.

John and Julie Gottman, psychotherapists who developed the Gottman Method of couples therapy, claim that they can...


Emotions

How to Stop Black-and-White Thinking

“He never listens to me.”

“I always forget my friends’ birthdays.”

“You are the worst boyfriend ever.”

Do you sometimes find yourself thinking or speaking in an all-or-nothing manner? Do you tend to view things in an extreme way? If so, does this habit work well for you, or does it trip you up? I’m guessing that it’s the latter.

Black-and-white thinking can be a major contributor to misery. It’s a small step from such a thought process to believing...


Emotions

The 3 Essential Steps to Self-Compassion

We generally feel good about ourselves when we’ve achieved a meaningful goal, believe ourselves to be “on top of things”, and receive positive feedback from others. The challenge lies in dealing with those times when we’re off our game, disappoint ourselves or someone important to us, or fail to get something we value. At such moments, practicing self-compassion can help us with emotional balance, resilience, and tolerating our pain.

According to leading self-compassion researcher Dr. Kristen Neff,


Emotions

Your Thoughts Don’t Have To Dictate Your Behavior

Our minds are meaning-making machines. First and foremost, our minds try to protect us by figuring out how to avoid danger. That’s simply part of evolution – if we don’t survive, we won’t be able to enjoy a beautiful sunset, warm embrace, inspiring conversation, inspiring music or art, or life at all.

So, our minds aren’t malevolent (with a few rare exceptions) – they are just trying to taking care of us and minimize pain. However,...


Change

3 Steps To Letting Go Of Problems

You’ve told yourself time and time again that you would never again drink too many mimosas at Sunday brunch, eat half a bag of cookies in one sitting, procrastinate on your taxes until April 14th, or get involved with shady characters.

And at the time you really meant it.

Yet, you still find yourself repeating the same behaviors, even as you recognize that they aren’t benefiting you.

Moreover, you realize that you spend a lot of time thinking about...


Communication

10 Strategies For Responding Effectively To Criticism

It’s generally not fun to be at the receiving end of criticism. Also, there's no doubt that some criticism is mean-spirited, hostile, and not really meant to be helpful. However, often we can learn a lot from constructive criticism. The challenge is to resist becoming defensive, which reduces our chances of actually learning something from the situation.

Some tips for receiving critical feedback in effective ways:

Respond calmly. Resist the impulse to jump in and begin defending...


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