How To Achieve Emotional Sobriety

Many people in recovery from alcohol or drug abuse, compulsive overeating, gambling, or other addictive behaviors eventually realize that while quitting the behavior is crucial, it's not sufficient to live a happy, serene, healthy, and useful life.

The next step is recovery is emotional sobriety, or learning to deal with the uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that the addictive behaviors attempted to cover up or avoid. It entails confronting and managing our emotions in healthy and constructive ways,...


Managing The Committee In Your Head

Does it ever seem as if there's an internal debate going on in your mind? One voice says, "This report which I've prepared for my boss sucks", while another voice tells you that "It's fine - never mind the typos and grammatical errors", and a third voice chimes in, saying "Why don't I take a short break and then give the report a quick edit".

Or your husband doesn't seem to notice that you're wearing a new dress....


The Importance of Negative Emotions

Anger, sadness, fear, and other "negative" emotions have often been given a bad rap. Given that such feelings are generally unpleasant to experience, our aversion to them is understandable.

Also, our society encourages us to be positive and optimistic, which to a degree is helpful.

However, nobody is happy all of the time. None of us is entirely devoid of negative feelings (feelings that cause us to feel bad). We are humans, not robots.

In fact, to be and...


Post-Traumatic Growth In The Age of Covid-19 and Beyond

What constitutes trauma or adversity? Basically anything that causes physical or psychological pain or injury. This includes personal illness or injury, witnessing the same in someone else, natural disasters, enduring abuse, the death of someone close to us, job loss, addiction, financial problems, relationship difficulties, and incarceration. The range and magnitude of trauma is vast. And, yes, it includes what just about everyone is going through due to Covid-19.

It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that...


4 Key Questions To Ask Yourself Each Day

Personal change and growth are healthy responses to life. We may fall into the alternatives of stagnation and regression from time to time, but to engage in these patterns on a regular basis isn't likely to do ourselves or other people any favors.

So, how do we get ourselves off auto-pilot and extract ourselves from emotional ruts? How do we help pave the road to healthy and long-lasting self-improvement and spiritual growth?

One useful way to check in...


9 Symptoms of Anxiety That May Surprise You

Low-grade tension. Difficulty relaxing. Feeling overwhelmed by life.

You probably associate these symptoms with anxiety and fear.

However, there are additional indications of anxiety, such as:

Perfectionism. Contrary to what you may think, perfectionism does not mean that you think you are perfect, but that you despair of not being good enough. You have the vague idea, even if it's not entirely conscious, that by doing things "perfectly" you will somehow render yourself immune to vulnerability and danger –...


16 Ways To Practice Radical Acceptance

Have you ever wondered what it really means to accept something? Does such an attitude mean that we give up on the possibility of change for ourselves, other people, or our lives? Is this just an excuse to be a doormat?

Absolutely not. Acceptance, and in particular the term Radical Acceptance, one of the principles of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), is anything but passive. Radical acceptance is a conscious choice, and one that can actually put us...


25 Tips To Get Rid of Overthinking

We have all been bestowed with a brain which, for the most part, is a wondrous creation which enables us to process information, think through our options, and determine how to proceed.

However, at times our mind can seem like our own worst enemy. When we find ourselves overthinking an issue, with our thoughts returning again and again to a past situation or future scenario, we’re likely to needlessly wear ourselves out.

So, it’s in our best interest...


17 Ways To Stay Motivated Over The Long Haul

There is something cunning and treacherous about procrastination. While it feels good in the short run, since we are momentarily spared the possible discomfort involved in pushing ourselves a bit, in the long run procrastination can lead to a type of soul sickness. We begin to doubt (and increasingly so, as the days and weeks progress) our capability to take care of things - ourselves, our loved ones, our health, our

Yes, there are times in...


How To Cope Effectively With Fear

"Always move toward your demons. They take their power from your retreat." (Thom Rutledge)

How does fear show up in your life? Is it that dread of facing the day that causes you to hit the snooze button when your alarm goes off in the morning? Does fear lead you to doubt your abilities and thus keeps you living a boring but “comfortably” familiar lifestyle? Does fear block you from pursuing promising relationships or job opportunities?

Do you...