Are You Authentic?

Some of us think that being authentic means we should say whatever is on our mind without regard for how our words may be taken.

“I am sick and tired of tiptoeing around everyone,” we say, “for now on, I am going to be real. If you don’t like it, lump it!”

This kind of authenticity however, is usually only the angry flip side of the fear that drives us to “tiptoe” around in the first place....

Addiction Recovery

Only 8% of People Keep Their New Year’s Resolution

Think about the various commitments you and many others have made over the years. We did, and came up with this very brief list of common resolutions we typically hear before the new year:
I’ll lose weight.

I’ll stop smoking.

I’ll spend more time with my partner, or with my children.

I will save money.

I will be less stressed out. 
Then, somewhere around the second week of January, those promises go the way of all...


The Holidays Do Not Need to Feel Like An Endurance Contest

The holidays can be particularly difficult for people to cope with. Some will want an escape from the memories of past holidays. Others will be looking for activities that will provide them with the opportunities to create new memories. Holidays also generate obligations, which can appear to occur in a continuous stream with no breaks.

Whatever your experience, many people encounter a great deal of stress during the holidays. Many have even come to expect...


How You Can Nourish a Healthy Romance

We have all known times when our romantic life seems to just “click” on all cylinders. Oh how wonderful it can be! At other times however, it feels as if we are running a romantic fever and cannot seem to get it right.
When relationships are experiencing poor romantic health, partners are not likely to view each other as valuable. Our tendency during times of “soul sickness” is to see the flaws in...


Thanksgiving is Much More than Saying “Thank You”

Someone once said "it is really hard to have a good day with a bad attitude." It is just as difficult to have a bad day with a good attitude.

The same is true of the satisfaction we feel in our romantic life. It is very difficult to maintain a heathy romance with a bad attitude, and it will be just as difficult to have a bad romance with a positive attitude.

There are two easy steps you can...

Addiction Recovery

Exploring Your Past is a Prerequisite for True Mindfulness

Mindfulness. It means living in the moment. By now, most of us are well aware of the great emotional and spiritual promises of living mindfully. It is believed to lower high blood pressure, heal trauma, and enhance our problem-solving abilities. Studies show that mindful people may be happier1.

Many traditional philosophies however, stress the importance of purposefully going back in time and exploring our past experiences. We revisit where we have been and how we...


Some “ABC’s” for Better Communication in Your Romance

At some point in our romance we recognize that a successful love life is going to take more work that we thought. The infatuation we felt when we were head-over-heals about each other in those starstruck early days was simply the effects of heavy chemical reactions firing in our brains. Those drug-like reactions do not last forever, they die down quickly, and then we face the task of putting in the hard work and time...

Addiction Recovery

“Gratitude is the Parent of All Virtues”

True tolerance of others, especially of those we love, is a virtue that all romantic partners enter into their coupleship hoping to achieve. The actual attainment of this virtue however, proves to be a most difficult and challenging feat for many of us to accomplish.
It is very challenging at times to truly tolerate the limitations and differences of others, especially when their limitations and differences impact us directly. It can become...

Addiction Recovery

No One Can Push Your Buttons Without Permission

Many of us are quick to blame others for how we feel: “He makes me so mad!” or “She really hurt my feelings.

It is true that people can be hurtful and it is important to acknowledge when we are feeling that way. Denying our emotions will only make things worse, not better. But did someone really “make me angry” or are we feeling the anger in us getting kicked up in response to the way...